Hi friends. I’ve delayed doing this for a long time out of embarrassment, pride, and an unhealthy sense of “I don’t deserve it”, but the time has come for me to take care of me. To love myself. There’s a lot of barriers rn. I don’t have the clothes I like, the food I like, or much room for activities I like.

My kitty boy, Magic, needs rabies shots. I need a more affirming wardrobe. And my fridge is abysmal. These are just some of the bigger things I’m focused on right now.

I feel weird even imagining pointing out the good I try to do, but I often put others first, and try to help wherever I can. This has inevitably landed me in a hole I’ve been unable to get out of for close to a year now. A cycle of overdrafted bank accounts, defaulted credit cards, and not a lot of space in my heart and life to even care. But I’ve utterly destroyed myself.

It’s been a little over two years now of healing from lifelong abuse and trauma and this is the biggest thing keeping me in a deep depression, not even to mention what being queer and disabled in America is like right now.

All of this being said, I need help right now. I need community. I need a lunge into stability. If you can help, or even share this, I would be so grateful.