[Please see the estimated breakdown of costs below, as I think many people are quite unfamiliar with the process and actual costs, because it is one of those matters people don't publicly discuss and/or don't disclose because of how expensive it actually is and the long and difficult process]

Hi, everyone! I'm Loren. I should simply say hi, however, because this message is for my friends.

Many of you have known me a long time; some of you have known me only since I've moved to and made my life in Japan. Without writing such a long and drawn-out story, the long and short of it is that my life ended up with me being an immigrant in Japan. I didn't see that coming, but that's how the story unfolded. It takes time to stabilize a life, find a job, build a career, master the culture and language, and find a partner willing to continue to grow and develop with as an immigrant. I'm not unhappy with that choice, but it made it necessary for me to put aside my deepest wishes—to be a father. Today is Father's Day, and I was again reminded that I had put this aside because of challenges in career, anxiety from my partner, dissuasion from close friends, the tremendous expense to do so, and even my own fears.

Well, as of today, I'm no longer afraid, and I feel blessed to have the support of my long-time partner of 17 years at my side to build the family we've always been afraid to "want" because maybe we weren't meant to have one, or we didn't deserve one. But, now I know in my heart this is the path for me, and I would like to ask your help.

As a gay African-American man living in Tokyo, my partner and I are not able to leverage and make use of the benefits that equal marriage in the USA gives couples. Our relationship is not recognized in Japan; Japan is still the only G7 country that bans same-sex marriage. IVF is also not available to couples, straight or gay, without marriage, and surrogacy also has restrictions. The odd thing here is that these options are not only for couples such as me and my partner. Many couples have difficulties building a family regardless of sexual orientation, and legal barriers make the process significantly expensive.

Therefore, on Father's Day 2025, I'm making this appeal to all of you. I would like help to raise the funds to immediately start this process this year so that I can say I'm a father next year. It requires 190,000 dollars minimally, so I'm asking for 200,000. And I don't have that lying around, so here's what I'd like to do.

I want to give you the option: I'd love your help by donating. But, if you don't want to donate, you can make it a loan, and I can pay you back. There is no option to do this hybrid option on GoFundMe, so my hope is that 200 people who know me would be willing to part with $500 to $1,000. If you want me to pay you back, I'm happy to do so, and then I ask that if you read this, please reach out to me, and we can make those arrangements. My goal is to have the funds by the end of summer.

I know some of you may think I'm crazy for asking, too old, crazy in general, or even reckless. Some might think, why is he trying to have a kid if he doesn't have 200,000 dollars himself to pay for it? I don't know the financial situation of all my friends, but I don't have that lying around to drop, and the doctors who can help me said that that's what's required: immediate payment in full, basically. So, I am asking for your support either by donation or loan, and I give you my word that I will honor how you want to help me with this financial hurdle, and I will be eternally grateful. You have no idea how happy I will be. It is a dream that seems impossible to me now, but if I don't try to go after it, I don't know what I'll do.

I love you all, and I want to repeat how grateful I am to have you as friends and family in my life. I thought about making a video, but then I thought that it might be too much, but perhaps I'll add it.

Please also feel free to reach out to me to talk about this. +81-90-8005-8818. I'd love to share my ideas, dreams, considerations, and plans over the next 10-20 years, and for those of you who are parents already and know this blessing, please consider even a small amount to help me make this happen.

Love, Loren

Costs breakdown (these are estimates but my campaign is set up for the lower end of these costs), and I have verified this number with 3 different agencies:

Agency & Egg Donor Fees ($56,000 - $100,000): services of matching you with a surrogate and egg donor, including agency administration fees and the donor's compensation.

IVF & Medical Costs ($46,000 - $80,000+): includes all clinical procedures, such as the IVF cycle to create embryos, medical screenings, and the surrogate's prenatal care and delivery expenses.

Surrogate Compensation ($55,100 - $87,000+): surrogate's base fee for carrying the pregnancy, plus monthly allowances and other potential payments for specific circumstances like carrying twins or a C-section.

Legal Fees ($13,000 - $20,000): These fees are for your and your surrogate's separate legal representation to draft the surrogacy agreement and legally establish your parental rights.

Insurance Costs ($13,500): essential for covering the surrogate's health and life insurance for the pregnancy.

Travel & Accommodation ($14,000): Budget for at least two trips from Japan to the US, including flights, extended accommodation for the birth, and daily living expenses.

Estimated Total Cost: total investment of $197,600 to $357,000, and it is wise to include a contingency fund for unexpected expenses.