My name is Lisa. I'm a 41 year-old resident of the beautiful Central Coast of California... and as hard as it is to admit, I am really struggling.

After losing my husband to brain cancer in 2015, I continued to work as an attorney for as long as I could. The high pressure, stress, and endless billable hours finally caught up to me and I began experiencing all kinds of unexplainable symptoms. It all became so debilitating that I went off work on what I hoped would be "temporary disability" in January 2021. I have not been able to work since, and was declared permanently disabled in July 2023. This was after a 2.5 year legal battle during which time I lost my home, my car, and so much agency over my life. Eventually, I was approved for low-income housing, and I was thrilled to move back into my own place in 2024.

Over the course of the past ten years, I have been diagnosed with: Axial Spondyloarthritis (an autoimmune disease of the spine for which I receive infusion treatments every six weeks, which involves eight hours of driving), Sjogrens Syndrome, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, hemicrania continua, chronic migraine with aura, anxiety and depression, complex PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, and insomnia. After having COVID for the first time in 2023, I developed long-COVID, which involved chronic bronchitis infections, recurrent thrush infections, difficulty swallowing... you get the picture. And it isn't pretty. So while I smile for selfies in my red lipstick, I am masking unbelievable chronic pain and fatigue.

I am beyond grateful to receive disability every month, but unfortunately, SSDI benefits do not change based on cost of living where you reside. So, regardless of how expensive it is to live here, I receive the same amount as someone disabled who lives in rural Arkansas. I have tried everything I can to make it work, but the fact is that every single month I am drowning financially. My rent and medical costs alone are over 2/3 of my disability payments.

Fun fact: I need to file for bankruptcy because of my medical bills, but I currently cannot because I paid an attorney to handle my case, and he ended up spending the money before filing. Then, he died without returning my money, so I cannot afford the approximately $2,500 it would cost to get another lawyer. (And no, I won't file on my own behalf - as they say, an attorney who represents herself has a fool for a client.) So, I'm flooded with collectors contacting me daily, and I have no way to pay them back... and my credit is shot, so I cannot qualify for credit anywhere.

Because I cannot go back to work right now, I am at a breaking point. My medical premiums are more than doubling this coming year. I just found out I have at least one cracked disc and will likely need back surgery. This is after four major surgeries in four years since 2021: artificial disc replacement in my neck, left shoulder rotator cuff repair, and repair of labral tears in both hips. I am at a total loss about what to do.

I know that this is a scary time for a lot of people, and asking for help is not something that comes naturally or easily to me. (You should see the amount of cringing I'm doing writing this.) But I simply don't know what else to do. If you have the means and you feel it in your heart, any sort of help is more appreciated than I can explain.

Someday I hope that I'll be well enough to get back to work and I will no longer have to choose between putting gas in my car and groceries in my fridge. Until then, I will continue to be grateful for the health I do have that allows me to get up every day and be of service to the people around me. Thank you so much for reading, and feel free to pass this on if you feel moved to.

TL;DR - I am buried in medical, legal, and living expenses as a result of being chronically ill and permanently disabled.