Support Leighton & Mom's Medical Journey

Yesterday (1/15/25) I got a call from my doctor saying unfortunately I am unable to deliver in Helena, but again in Missoula. Little Leighton had COA which is Coarctation of the Aorta,,

(A narrowing of the large blood vessel (aorta) the leads from the heart

Coarctation of the aorta is usually present at birth (congenital), and may occur with other heart defects

Many people have no symptoms and the condition often isn’t detected until adulthood. The most common symptom in adults is high blood pressure. Rarely in severe cases can cause heart failure in babies.

Treatment involves surgery or a catheter- based procedure to fix the narrowing.)

Below is what I wrote a couple days prior, pretty much what I’ve been through this pregnancy, Leighton is down head down and is just a little smaller than my other kiddos. I got the call yesterday from my OB saying unfortunately I can’t deliver here in Helena and my case needs to go to the Maternal Fetal Medicine, they will be sending me to Missoula to deliver there in case I have another NICU baby or he needs surgery just to have that “it’s better safe than sorry.”

When I moved back to Helena I was planning to work all the way up to when I push him out, to make sure I had money for rent, and gas, and just general basic things I need. But unfortunately I won’t be able to, I will need the funds to make it to Missoula and food, and basically anything I need while up there, and also big part my RENT. I need that paid while I’m off in Missoula.

I am doing this 100% all by myself, because Leightons’ father sadly committed suicide back when I was just about 20 weeks.

It hasn’t been the easiest on me, I don’t really have the family, I’m pretty much all alone in this world and I just need help.

If you can find it in your heart to help me and my baby boy, even with just sharing this fund me I would greatly appreciate it.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please help little Leighton and I in this hard time. Please keep my little boy healthy with delivery and if he’s needing surgery that surgery goes just fine. I am begging you, this is all I have left. In Jesus name Amen.

At the beginning, he told me “we got this, you, me, baby on the way. Let’s do this!” We were gonna do it together.

At about 20 weeks, he ended up taking his own life. It broke me, it broke his family, his friends, everyone who loved him, it broke us all. A lot of the grievers blamed me for it, a lot of people hated me for it. For a while I did believe them, for a while I did believe it was all my fault.

For weeks I played the “what if” game. Wishing it was just a bad dream, wishing it was just a prank.

I cried myself to sleep, I cried driving home from work, wishing I could take every wrong word I said to him back. Anything mean I’ve done or said to him, in the heat of the moment I wish I could just take it all back. But I can’t.

From moving out of our apartment, to moving into a cute little basement temporarily, working, and grieving on the one year mark of my fathers death, to losing a really great job that I so deeply regret, to moving again to the hi line to moving one more time moving home and finding a new job. I did it completely sober. I grieved completely sober.

Which makes me know that I don’t need alcohol, or drugs to get through life, or to grieve a life. I can be happy without it, I can grieve through life without it. And that makes me very strong as a person.

In three weeks I’m welcoming our stubborn little boy. (I say that because he is now breech and I’m 36 weeks pregnant.) In three weeks I get to snuggle that little one he was so excited for.

But I have to do it alone.

Hug your loved ones, hug your little ones. Hell hug your neighbor. Because going through life with no one by your side, grieving and going through it alone is something I would never wish upon someone. Be loving. Be grateful. Be thankful. Be nice.

You matter.

We are strong.

We have this.

We got this.