This is my mom.

She isn’t a regular woman who has lived a regular life. She hasn’t been someone who had things handed to her from birth; in fact, it’s the opposite really. But you would never know that. You would never hear her complain about being born into extreme poverty or being treated less than by teachers because they deemed her “trash.” You will never hear tales of foster homes and social workers and parents who went to jail. You won't know the stories of evil foster mothers and evil adopted parents. You won't hear the cries of a teenage high school dropout who put herself back into high school after having her first baby and graduated with honors at the age of 20. You won't know the woes of a tired mother of two who has taken to construction work because the three jobs she had didn’t pay enough.

You won't hear the stories because she refuses to be shaped by them; she refuses to have her life defined by them.

But you know what you will know about my mother from the moment you meet her? You know she doesn’t quit…ever!

If you know my mother, you know two things: that she is always smiling and that she loves her daughters more than life itself. But you will never know the extreme amount of pain she deals with daily because she chooses to fight pain with a smile. She refuses to allow her condition to steal her sunlight. She has Chiari Malformation, and it’s killing her. But you wouldn’t know unless she told you.

Chiari Malformation is a condition that you are born with, though it is not usually diagnosed until much later in life when the condition has finally given you enough complications that it is impossible to ignore. Chiari is when your brain stem is too long and your skull is putting too much pressure on your brain. The only way to find any relief is from a decompression surgery, where neurosurgeons carefully remove part of your skull and allow the built-up pressure to be removed. Double vision, trouble breathing, trouble swallowing due to the spinal cord pressing into your esophagus. Migraines, fibromyalgia, nerve damage, muscle weakness, facial numbness, pain while walking that shoots up your back with each step. Each symptom becoming worse and worse until finally, it causes paralysis.

Living with Chiari Malformation makes normal human functions, such as coughing and sneezing, a dangerous game. Having to be careful when turning your head side to side, being careful when you eat because normal bites of food are now dangerous. You have to live carefully, but to the extreme, so is it really living?

My mom needs surgery. Desperately, because the paralysis medication can only put off the inevitable for so long. And I need her to be around for a long time. My mom is the legal guardian to her mentally and physically handicapped adult daughter, who is forever her little girl, and is 100% financially supported by her. But this is now the time where she needs to take a step back and take care of business, to beat this condition and overcome this like she has overcome everything else that life has handed her.

She needs to be out of work for 6-12 weeks and her main concern is being able to care for herself and her daughter. So we are asking for the kindness of strangers for help. She has avoided this surgery for long enough because of concerns about taking the time out of work, of course, for financial reasons. No one should feel the need to avoid their health issues because they can’t afford the time off work it takes to heal. Unfortunately, though, that is the case and why we would like to raise about $10,000 for the expenses associated with living such as rent, lights, insurance, car note, etc. so that she can not only get the surgery needed but comfortably take the time recommended and necessary for her to properly heal without worry. We are appreciative of every little thing that can be donated to help. Not only would having the money allow her to take the appropriate amount of time off to fully heal, but it would allow her to heal in peace knowing she is able to support her household while in recovery.

My mom is an amazing woman who often puts others before herself and deserves to heal and recover as she has always done, staying bright and resilient.

Thank you for you're help!

Sincerely,

Laura Fox