My story: All the beautiful music I love started sounding a little distant last year, but distracted with the wonder and intensity of having a new baby, I didn't prioritise my concerns. When I eventually had an MRI of my brain to address the disturbing deafness, a tumour was discovered. I guess you could say I'm lucky the hearing loss led me to it, as we've found the tumour before it's become too large. Losing your hearing as a dj who loves lush, sublime grooves has been challenging enough, but to have it then be completely overshadowed by something considered a whole lot worse, well, it's definitely called forth my inner strength and a sense of humour. The surgeon says it's a low-grade glioma, urging us to remove it straight away, but also agrees we can choose to watch and wait for a few more months.
Brain tumours are not an easy cure with surgery; they often return, and the long recovery, coupled with chemotherapy and radiotherapy, is a very unattractive scenario. The whole thing is risky. My husband and soul mate Ben and I are un-schooling our children, so life is very busy, every moment a chance to marvel at life with them and engage with their natural urge to learn and understand. Ben works full time while I maintain the homestead, a challenge in itself as little Ari has just started walking....bless his chubby thighs. My son Eli is a powerhouse at 8, hilarious and profound, most often at the same time. He knows only that I face a health challenge, and joins in with my daily determination to heal through joy, nutrition, ancient knowledge and modern treatments. There's really no way to imagine our lives continuing in this vibrant way if I have surgery. My amazing mother is doing everything she can to help me so I am not too overloaded, but if I were to be bed-ridden, caring for our children would become incredibly difficult. We must be strong and choose to imagine a long future together, as leaving my children, husband and mother early is quite simply not an option.
So I have embarked upon a lot of research and am seeing a doctor at the National Institute of Integrated Medicine. We are following an action plan combining ideas from my GP, naturopath and surgeon. I also have a Network chiropractor who works on my nervous system, and have been gifted reiki. No medicine has been offered to me. From the surgeon's perspective it's simply a matter of operate, or do what you can to heal right now, hoping the tumour doesn't suddenly grow. It apparently could double in size in 160 days, but so far it hasn't: I thank my naturopath and mind powers for that. I was also fortunate enough to have a cbd oil donor for three months, in which time the tumour did not grow, but I cannot afford it now, like many others seeking access to this natural wonder. My doctor can only prescribe it for me if I am in intense pain, which I am gratefully not, yet feel deeply the irony of being unable to access the very thing which may well be shrinking my tumour.
*May is the month for me to start more treatment. It is a costly affair, but what price can you put on staying alive for your children and family? It involves the hyperbaric oxygen chamber, heat and intravenous vitamin c, all considered immediately essential for me if I am to stop the tumour expanding and affecting my brain further. Even attending appointments is a huge challenge for a breastfeeding mother, always with her two children.
I love to share and connect with fellow hue-mans, vibe-ing on music, knowledge, dancing and BEING, and I plan on living on to inspire others through the experience of my healing. Our physical selves are a symbol of where we are mentally, and I am embracing healing on all levels, daily chugging my beloved mushroom tea (the miraculous Ganoderma root, recently featured in this year's January National Geographic for its tumour shrinking properties) as I raise our boys, contemplate existence and learn to listen in new ways.
My close friends' faith in my healing is a beautiful thing, and I appreciate so much their bringing me green vegies and their good humour. I also have a step-daughter Sophie whose presence is a rock in my life. I choose to be extremely positive, and send love to the tumour; I must make what good I can of it. We only really have this moment, so being joyful seems the most sensible way to approach things; but as much as I want to smile and make light, it is serious.
After encouragement from dear friends, here I am: at Gofundme. Obviously my family will do anything they can to help me access these treatments, but draining their savings creates a huge amount of stress on us all, and stress and healing don't go well together. If I can allow funds to flow to me, surrendering to being assisted and being public with this journey - no small thing, then my gratitude for everyones' love and support will expand even further: Beyond words. It's a strange thing to contemplate how deserving you may be for help, but however you look at it, my darling children need me alive. I believe I have found my tumour with enough time. Let's show that HEALING from cancer IS possible: that it's an opportunity to unblock our energy and grow, emerging from the experience with a deeper respect for our own consciousness and realisation of our power. I believe in the importance of healthy belief systems, and being in alignment. I want to be vibrationally conscious of who I am.
Thankyou so much to the friends that have already helped me, and if you can share this for us, then I thankyou yet again. In May the next stage of healing begins.
"The management of low grade glioma is one of the most controversial areas in clinical neuro-oncology."
(Journal of Neurology, Neuro-Science. https://jnnp.bmj.com/content/75/suppl_2/ii31)
The money is going towards the treatments at the N.I.I.M. clinic, cbd oil and naturopathic medicines.
*I have always been very interested in mind over matter, and have most recently come back to the Seth Books after an initial read 15 years ago. They contain wonderfully profound information on the nature of consciousness. I have just received a book written by Dr. Tien-Sheng Hsu after following my intuition and searching 'Seth' and 'healing'. It is called 'The Secret to Healing Cancer' and looks to be a treasure trove; he spent ten years researching curing cancer through psychological and spiritual growth. So yes, it is confronting saying publicly that you have a form of cancer, as it's declaring to the world that your spiritual and physical have become unaligned; but cancer can be a life-changing turning point, a realisation of your own power and need to step-up and become more responsible for your life.
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