My much needed ankle surgery and recovery

Hi everyone! It's me again, Julia. I've been debating on doing this for quite some time. Looking at other options, other platforms and resources, even had doctors input. But here we are again. Almost 2 years since my last ankle surgery and I need a 4th. Trust me, I do not want another surgery. I don't. I'm very independent with my everyday life and taking care of myself and children. But it's come down to this. I must get all the hardware that was put inside my ankle 10 years ago taken out. Again, I don't want to do this, I don't want to be stuck at home or unable to walk during recovery, but it must come out. All 15 screws and 2 plates. I cannot afford to have surgery and recover if I dont raise what I need to. I'm aiming for around May. The surgery is not scheduled yet, and I'll schedule it if I'm able to raise enough to do so. I thought to myself, what if I don't raise enough? I wouldn't feel right holding onto funds from anyone if I can't do the surgery. So, if I don't raise enough. It'll be returned. I know surgery would be at least a few months away. But I thought this would give me some time. I just want to be pain free one day. I know there's no cure for the internal damage that's done inside of my ankle, but I know in my heart by removing the hardware inside I'll feel some relief without those foreign objects poking my tendons. I'm genuinely terrified to have another surgery. Sometimes I think to myself, I kind of wish I don't raise enough. Recovery will be about 2 months so the holes in the bones can heal. I live with so much pain daily and honestly it's frustrating, it hurts, sometimes I cry when I just can't walk. I don't know what the future holds after this surgery, but I'm really hopeful I'll find some relief. Having countless conversations with my orthopedic surgeon, I'm too young to talk about a full ankle replacement he says and honestly I cant even imagine! I appreciate everyone that has been along with me on this 10 year journey so far. Until I can schedule and come up with a date, I'm going to keep working as much and as hard as I can. Must keep going. No giving up for this mama!