Support Jeffrey Martell's Journey to Emotional Wellness

My name is Jeffrey Martell. I am writing this because I am making an effort to take a proactive and unorthodox approach to healing. I am having personal struggles with serious and persistent mental illness in addition to a lot of uncertainty with my mental health which raises ongoing concern about my emotional well-being.

I went to the Adriance Library and took out a book titled "The End of Mental Illness" by Daniel Amen. I read it and was very intrigued by many of the ideas as it identifies Neuroscience as the real Psychiatry. I have a diagnosis of Autism, PTSD, Anxiety, depression, and several potential misdiagnoses such as Psychosis and Bipolar Polar 1 Disorder. I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 at the Children's Annex and felt that the depth of my needs were not addressed. At the same time, I faced abuse in my household and as a child, that took a huge toll on my self worth and esteem.

I struggled with social and communication skills as a child, resulting in feelings of rejection and bottled-up emotions that worsened over time as I approached the 7th grade. As a result, I became violent and aggressive. This bridged my Autism and delayed development which later became mental illness. I was hospitalized at Four Winds Hospital in Katonah, NY in 2011, where I worked hard to make forward progress, but unfortunately, the discharge plan did not wholeheartedly and holistically address my needs. I continued to find life debilitating and felt very trapped.

The next avenue I tried was having a meeting with SPOA workers 3 weeks later to come up with a plan to discuss my needs. Unfortunately, while the SPOA were at my home, I couldn't sit through the discomfort due to how overwhelming the topics were. I lost my impulse control and became aggressive toward the SPOA workers. As a result, in 2012, I was mandated by law to return to Four Winds. During this time, I was told that I had grandiose thoughts, I felt very trapped, and I didn't want to accept that I was back in the Hospital or take responsibility for my actions. I continued to be aggressive and violent and was put on the most powerful antipsychotic that exists known to man, Clozapine. It stabilized me for many years, but the side effects became debilitating over time and the feeling of numbness disconnected me from myself.

I tried to taper off of Clozapine in 2023 and the taper was very debilitating and scary. Next, I tried Vraylar to assist in the Clozapine taper, but the side effects were crippling. In February 2024 I made a threat to take all my Clozapine in the bottle, due to the discomfort from Vraylar withdrawal. My friend called emergency responders because of my crisis, and I admitted myself to Mid-Hudson Regional in Poughkeepsie for a psychiatric evaluation. When I spoke with the Psychiatrist, I advocated for myself to finish getting off of Clozapine. I had the fortitude and tenacity to successfully transition off of Clozapine. I got discharged 3 weeks later and when I arrived Home, I felt like I woke up for the first time.

Later in my healing journey, I was connected to the Hudson valley Clubhouse to find long term rehabilitation and recovery. The clubhouse has provided me with a sense of community where I don't feel so alone on my journey. Over time, I became very active in the Clubhouse traveling all the way to St. Louis, Missouri for a Clubhouse International Training. I got a lot of perspective on how a clubhouse can run more efficiently. In my opinion, the Clubhouse is one of the greatest resources in the mental health system. The problem is that the Clubhouse is not clinical and isn't a fully comprehensive clinic model. The Amen clinic can provide the missing piece to addressing my mental illness based on my understanding of what the Amen Clinic is.

I decided that I'd like to go to the Amen Clinic for a SPECT brain scan and holistic psychiatric evaluation. After what feels like a lifetime of trying different treatments, it is clear that healing must be addressed through changing your lifestyle, and looking at your brain, because brain health is mental health. I have demonstrated unequivocal perseverance and resilience to better the quality of my life. I will be forever grateful for funding to go to the Amen Clinic for treatment as this could change the trajectory of my future.

If you have any further questions, feel free to reach out to me :)