I'm Jason or Jay, as most of you know me as.  I have struggled my whole life with depression, ADHD, CPTSD, anxiety, hemochromatosis, hypertension [really high blood pressure], Spinal Fusion at 24 years old, and major abandonment issues I'm working on.  At the moment, I am trying to get on paper all the new things my doctor thinks I have, but I have no money to see the "specialists" I need to see to get them on paper. All this in hopes of maybe getting me on disability, so I can get the mental and financial support I have always needed but never got.  It has always been hard for me to ask for help and anytime I did ask it was only enough help to get me through to the next problem.  But that's the problem.  I've always been so far behind in learning and income that I have never been in a safe place mentally or financially.  Not to say I'm not smart or that I can't pick up certain skills with lightening speed, but with everything I had going on mentally and never having money to further my education, it led to a lack of people thinking that I'm capable.  Being in that position and taking care of my family through my 20s led to never finding a job I could eventually call a career. Which in turn led to a lack of steady raises to account for rising bills each year. Now at 41 years old and always looking for a better job, it has left me without stable work, let alone a job history to say "I'm worth paying well and treating right."  I'm 6k$ in credit debt [cards maxed] with $1260 rent a month on my ancient 1-bed apartment.  In total, my basic bills come out to just over $1700 a month, not including saving for truck insurance, food, gas, clothes, supplies, emergencies, etc.  I have cut every corner I can, pinched every penny I can. I go to the food banks and never go out to do anything to save every dime I have to try to get by.  But in the end, here I am about to lose what little I even have.  I'm fairly computer savvy and can not do most manual labor jobs anymore, but can not find a "work from home" job either.  The other half of the coin is, if I do find work, it needs to pay the bills as well. I have lost my customer service ability over the years due to depression and not being able to mask it anymore but can do many other things on the PC. There is no "home" for me to go back to and winding up on the street with today's economy and laws means living on the street is a death sentence, or worse, felony jail time. I feel as though I have only survived these last decades and not got to live at all. This goal only helps towards a larger goal of mine to finally be in a place were I can heal and live my life.  I have always been one to give more than I had because "it will come back around," as I was told.  Well, now is that time.  I pray this finds the right people and my miracle does happen.

THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO TAKES THE TIME TO EVEN JUST READ THIS.

Sincerely Jason 'Jay' Long.