Support Jake's Cancer Battle and Help the Messier Family

I'm starting this fundraiser on the last day of 2024's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and believe me, I'm acutely aware of the disease as I've been fighting Stage II Ductal Carcinoma for the past year and have recently been recategorized to Stage IV.

I’ve been on a journey of self discovery, atonement, and brutal self-awareness over the past five years . Turning over every proverbial stone in my life to make sure I’m being the best human being I can be. I dropped 100lbs of excess weight through mindfulness and yoga (and along the way realized I shed 100lbs of childhood trauma). I went to intense therapy. I journaled. I did sound healings and reiki. I dealt with all my demons. The ones that I didn’t deal with weren’t serving me anymore so I simply let them go into the ether.

During this time, I apparently helped out a few people through some of their own mental health issues. Some have told me during their processes. Some have told me afterwards. And others won’t ever tell me (which is more then fine, I was just happy to help in some small way). I just know that through the past five years, and particularly the past year of my cancer journey, a lot of people have felt inspired by things I’ve said and actions I’ve taken…and they’ve often asked what they could do to help us now during this challenge. I guess this GoFundMe is likely the best way. ❤️

We don’t necessarily need money for daily bills (thankfully, because of Nicole’s great job with Raytheon), however cancer is very expensive. As a lot of you know, I’m a small business owner and the toll of still having to work full-time while trying to keep the people that rely on me employed is exhausting to say the least. All while undergoing chemo. All while undergoing major three surgeries in two months. All while treatment was going on over the past year. It's been difficult.

When I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Ductal Carcinoma in August of 23, it was supposed to be the “run of the mill” breast cancer that a half-dozen of our friends had been through. I’m not saying that their journeys weren’t significant or extreme - not one bit. I’m only saying this was ‘supposed’ to be “20 weeks of chemo, a mastectomy, 5 weeks of radiation and then I’m done.” We’ve had a half-dozen friends who have all had similar breast cancer journeys and they all came out the other side cured. They beat it. All of them. And to be honest, that’s what we were expecting…Because that’s what we were told by every doc we encountered.

When I went through the 20 weeks of chemo, which was likely and amazingly the easiest part of this journey considering how sideways things have gone since. After my mastectomy and the Onco surgeon(s) not getting clear margins around the tumor site, I was rescheduled back into the surgical suite 10 days later to remove more tumors they had found during the first surgery. A month after that, while my radiation oncologist was doing her planning for my five weeks of radiological care, she noticed more tumors...yet again. I went back in for a third surgery, where the onco surgeon nicked a vein. As I was bleeding out on the table, I had to be saved by a separate emergency vascular surgery team who was on standby, therefore abandoning the tumor excisement. Add to that some overnight ER visits due to surgical complications and the summer was not an easy season. After numerous scans, my prognosis was recently downgraded to Stage IV Breast Cancer - as multiple inoperable tumors have grown since my last surgery. I’m on daily endocrine therapy now trying to shrink the tumors - or at the very least - keep them from getting larger. The three daily pills I now take are largely the same level of discomfort and disruption that chemotherapy was - and I’ll likely be on this for the remainder of my days. I will be seeking clinical trials in Houston, Los Angeles, and Atlanta - and all of that adds up - which is where this helps.

But the cancer is only one part of this GoFundMe equation. As I mentioned previously, I’m a small business owner (founder/CEO of HEARD Strategy & Strorytelling, Inc. - a 4-person marketing company that helps nonprofits and cause-based orgs engage with their audiences).

HEARD was intended to be my final job and thus my contribution to the family’s retirement plan with an initial goal of selling it in 10 years, and/or just letting it run on after I retire and I would just collect a paycheck in perpetuity for as long as it lasted. It’s looking like that 10-year plan is not going to work anymore.

I’ve said for years, if I wanted to be a wealthy person, I wouldn’t have started a marketing company for nonprofits - but here we are. And our hearts are satisfied everyday knowing we’re helping the tens of thousands of people that our nonprofit clients serve get the programs and services they need to live better lives. But to be honest, there’s not a lot left over at the end of every month after everyone gets paid…we do work with small nonprofits after all … So yes, a portion of this GoFundMe will be set aside for filling the gap where HEARD was supposed to be there for us later: retirement, paying taxes, etc.

The third part of the GoFundMe equation is our 14yo - Jack. We would love to set aside a little bit more for his future. The situation is this: Two of our other adult children have decided (for their own reasons) to abandon our family. We know very little about their reasonings, and tried for years to reconcile with them after they left, but they don’t want that. Along with them walking away from myself, Nicole, Jack, Abby, their grandparents, etc.; they have also EACH walked away from approximately $100,000 of student loan debt…leaving it to Nicole and I. The initial deals we made with each of them was for us to pay 90% of the monthly student loan bill and they only pay 10% during year one after graduation. Year 2 was supposed to be an 80/20 split, and then 70/30, and so on and so forth. With the thinking that they would pay back more and more each year as their careers took off…without being saddled with crippling student loan debt. We were trying to help our kids and obviously didn't predict or expect the current situation.

However, as they each have decided to not be a part of our family anymore, they apparently thought those deals didn’t apply anymore either, leaving Nicole and I with $200,000 in higher education debt -that’s not ours. While the loan providers have suspended our payments during my cancer treatment, those bills will eventually come due. So a portion of this GoFundMe will go towards Jack’s future educational goals as well as paying down some of that debt.

So yes I realize that $250k is a huge number. A massive, virtually unattainable number. A number we that we know all too well to reach will have to go far outside our friends and family circles. Strangers will have to be touched by this ask and respond. We realize that's such a big thing to ask of people.

But it’s representing a lot of big things: a life-altering/life-ending/expensive cancer diagnosis; helping out my family after I’m gone when I should be retired and providing some peace of mind that the blood, sweat, and tears of keeping a small business afloat for 7 years (even through covid) - that it will eventually provide Nicole some security in her future; and it’s trying to provide Jack with similar opportunities to what his siblings had. And maybe, if there’s enough left over, Nik and I will go on a short trip. Maybe to Montreal to see our favorite hockey team. Maybe back to Iceland to stand amidst the Lupine fields in June. Maybe to Orlando one last time to raise our wands at Hogwarts or pilot the Millennium Falcon one last time.

It’s a lot of things in this GoFundMe me, which is why the number is so extra...by any standard. And I likely have 3-4 years to live and work and try and fix it.

We would appreciate and cherish any amount large or small and if you can’t - then can you please share it with your network of people who might? I work in the world of small nonprofits. Where $1 donations matter. When I say no donation is too small, I mean it. Whatever you can spare would be great. ❤️ Thank you.