Mere weeks after the tragic loss of our sister, my brother Jacob received another devastating blow: the diagnosis of stage 4 jaw cancer. The last couple of months have been a roller coaster, with the various consultations he’s had with different specialists diagnosing the cancer stage differently, but the jaw specialist at Lahey Cancer Center who will be performing his surgery confirmed that this is in fact stage 4 due to the presence of the cancer in the adjacent lymph nodes. The statistics for the 5-year survival rate are somewhat bleak, but the doctor assured us that those statistics will soon be changing given the success rate of recent immunotherapy treatments, which Jacob will be receiving. Furthermore, those statistics take into account people who are elderly and people who are diagnosed at the same stage but with bigger tumors. Although he’s in stage 4, Jacob’s cancer is still relatively small, and he’s an active 52-year-old. We are optimistic that he will make it to the five-year milestone and beyond. That said, Jacob has a tough road ahead of him. The surgery itself will take place exactly six weeks after he receives the first of the two antigen injections, yet to be scheduled. He will be losing a chunk of his jaw, two lymph nodes, and most likely four more bottom teeth in addition to the four he already needed pulled earlier this summer. They will remove a 6” chunk of his femur, along with the surrounding skin, muscle, and blood vessels, to use in the reconstruction of his jaw. They expect his hospital stay for the surgery and post-surgery monitoring to be 7-10 days. He’s expected to need a feeding tube and a tracheotomy during this hospital stay. Depending on how much bone and tissue they need to remove from inside his mouth, the resulting swelling, and how his body recovers, the trach and the feeding tube may or may not still be needed upon his release. Some patients need to go to a rehab facility after the surgery. He will also need radiation for a few months, which we understand to be physically exhausting. He will also need dental work to fill the gap from the eight missing teeth. He will need speech therapy, as he will be losing the nerve endings in the front of his jaw, which will make his front bottom lip permanently numb (imagine permanent Novocain). He is expected to be able to eat and drink and talk normally, but there will be an adjustment period. The leg will heal just fine with no lasting effects on his mobility. The doctor said he can realistically expect to need 4-5 months before he’s physically able to return to work.

Jacob, who works as a cook, does not have 4-5 months of savings to fall back on. He lives alone with his two cats, living paycheck-to-paycheck like many of us who are one life-altering diagnosis away from homelessness. I will do everything in my power to not let that happen to my hardworking brother and provide him with the support he needs to get through these next few months and years to the best of my ability. His close friends and coworkers have already demonstrated an enormous amount of support, offering rides to appointments (due to his unreliable car) and his employer even scheduling an upcoming benefit for him. We anticipate this benefit will have great success, as it will feature the band Acoustic Thunder, a western MA favorite whose band members happen to include Jacob’s employer Sam and our uncle Ray. However, many people who aren’t able to make it to this fundraiser (to be held on Friday, September 12th from 6-10pm upstairs at the Southwick Inn) have reached out for other ways to contribute. Jacob was hesitant to agree to crowdfunding, fearing that it will make him “look like a scumbag asking for $$$”. No, it will not. We didn’t ask for community funding when our mother passed with no assets nor we didn’t ask when our sister passed with no assets. We appreciated the support of close friends and relatives, and that was plenty. Growing up poor, we learned to live without, to make do with what we have, and to be independent and not ask for handouts regardless of what we didn’t have. This is different. If ever there was a time to ask for help, if ever there was a time for people to hold true to their words of support, it is in this instance. And I hope we’re all making that clear to him.

I’m struggling with what dollar amount to set this GoFundMe to, given the uncertainty of the potential work that he’ll need, the extent of the aftercare, and the exact insurance coverage. I do know for certain that he’ll at the very least need five months of rent, utilities, phone, cable, food, minimum credit card payments, cat food, etc., which is what I’ve included in my ask. If he happens to receive financial support beyond his immediate housing and medical needs, he will be putting the extra towards a more reliable vehicle, as his current jalopy isn’t highway-safe.

I want to add that the support and the continued offers of support that Jacob has received thus far have left him absolutely gobsmacked. Please, let’s continue to blow him away.