Support Izzy's Healing Journey Together

If you have time to read, and maybe share this, it would mean so much to Iz and I.

If you are up to read, this is our story. I haven’t written it out or told it all at once before, but as I sit in the hospital again, 10 months later, it feels important to write it all down

Izzy got sick last January, we didn’t know what was happening it first, he was randomly throwing up with no warning and no other symptoms. But it progressively got worse. After talking with multiple doctors and specialists who kept guessing but could never help, I said enough. And took him to the Children’s hospital of King of Prussia ER.

They did an MRI and then took me to a small conference room to tell me Izzy had a brain tumor. You always know it’s bad when they take you to the little room. I was alone and I knew I would have to face whatever they were about to say head on. There was a weird blank shock that set in first, followed by panic, followed by an emotionally locked down “give me all the information and steps I need to take” mode I have stayed in most of this year. I cannot tell you if it is good or bad that my normally chaotic brain becomes laser focused in crisis, but it is how I survived that moment. They transferred us to the city and izzy was in brain surgery 12hours later. I did not sleep for three days, there wasn’t time to fall apart.

We were in the PICU for a week, then acute care oncology for two weeks, followed by inpatient rehab for 2 weeks. We have come so far it is hard to recall the fear and devastation of seeing my child go from running jumping singing and creating. To not being able to walk, talk or even see easily. It has been a long year.

After finally leaving the hospital Izzy had 6 weeks of daily proton radiation treatments in the city, while continuing speech therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy outpatient.

Then, 4 months in, izzy started chemo. Radiation had already wrecked his body. He couldn’t eat, he lost all his hair, and the nausea and exhaustion were intense. Then chemo came for his immune system and he got sicker then I could have imagined. Bacteria had set up in Izzy’s lungs and we were back in the PICU unable to stop his fever of 104 degree for 8 days. We lived in the hospital for two months, going home twice and having to come right back. He had pneumomnia, pancreatitis, transfusions, more chemo, g-tube surgery, c-diff, and then more chemo. His amazing team always lifting us back up, getting him back on his feet no matter how many times he went down

We are now 10 months into this battle, there are increasing improvements, but the set backs are real too. The grind of so many hospital stays, drugs, procedures, needles, infections, and follow ups has worn us both down. But even in that dark pain, there are glows of light. It is just the two of us so often my brain tricks me into believing I am alone. But every time I have remembered to reach out to say “help” I have found a hand

The world is burning and we are separated in a way that makes most of us feel alone. But we are not. Total strangers have stepped forward to support and help us, sometime in small ways, sometimes in large touching ways like the woman who saw us in radiation and handed me $100 gift card because she had battled cancer as a child she wanted to pay the support her parents had gotten forward. I have cried with strangers and laughed. And most inspiring is Izzy himself, who through so much, remains deeply empathetic, fiercely independent, awe-inspiringly resilient, and funny to boot. His smile and his growl keep both of us moving forward. And while the shadowed unknowns ahead still scare me, the echo that rings true when I listen is “no one fights alone”. And my team and my people and the strangers who have helped remind me of that every day

If you would like to help now, the real answer is donations help most. With so many hospital stays it has been impossible for me to work and the loss of a full year of income builds up more then anything else. My friend laura set up a gofund me and even just $5 from anyone reading this adds up quick. If you can’t donate, or want to help more, like, comment on or share this post.