Help Freya Access Life-Saving Gender-Affirming Surgery

"Everyone's Survival Looks a Little Bit Like Death Sometimes" - Andrea Gibson

In 2019 the egg cracked. The future opened up before her for the first time. She came to her moment of unshakeable truth - Freya is a woman.

The lie she had lived before that moment was a constant battle. She had battled the fact of her womanhood. Drowned her in denial, shame & sometimes substances. The path to that moment had sometimes looked like it was about to end, but in 2019 she found a way past the once looming darkness.

The past 6 years have been a beautiful journey of self discovery & expression for Freya. The one thing she refused to accept, denied herself, refused to look at was surgery. Not because she didn't want it. Only because she was certain - believed - she couldn't have it. That it was inaccessible to her.

Then last year, in July 2024, she started dating Nicole. With Nicole's support & encouragement, Freya started to explore the possibilities. When I say the joy Freya experienced when she got her surgery date this year was contagious - I mean it filled the room with a radiance as light, uplifting, & heady as the smell of a fresh baked pie.

Since then she's been working hard to fund her surgery. And she managed to. At least the surgery itself. She even managed to find the funds for our flights across the country to San Francisco & a place to stay. However, with 4 weeks to go, we are at the crunch & she's not well. She pushed so hard she got heat stroke. She worked so hard she cried as her body betrayed her will.

The surgery is paid for & yet, her survival is not.

This surgery is more than just about bringing her body into alignment with her identity. This is life saving care. The past month I've seen her cry more days than not as the pressure to finance not only the present, but the future, has torn at her mind & body. She's feeling the darkness creep back in & it crushes a piece of my soul.

Recently, she shared that she didn't want to live if this failed to go through. I know that sounds desperate. It is. The dysphoria she'd been divorcing herself from has been surfacing so much it's near constant. Intimacy & self-care like using the toilet or showering can be so jarring in the wrongness that she avoids or self harms.

All this to say that Gender-Affirming surgery is not cosmetic - it's lifesaving - it's medically necessary. This surgery will allow Freya to finally feel at home in her body. It will allow her to live with the dignity, comfort & confidence that every human deserves.

How we will cover the cost of groceries, gas & tolls, Pre & Post Op supplies, & rent for the months of September & October is still unclear. Your contribution could help make the next 3 months a little more certain - a little less scary. Anything you can contribute would make a meaningful difference.