Help an Army Veteran with Advancing Dementia

Our family has always been the kind to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and figure it out. But right now, we’ve reached a breaking point and need help.

My “PaJim” (grandpa), Jim, is a proud Army veteran from Kentucky. He served his country in the 60's, completing basic training at Fort Polk in Louisiana, spending time in New Jersey, and later being stationed at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri, where he was honorably discharged. He dedicated his life to providing for his family and the steady rock we could always count on. His years of service are still a big part of who he is. Even now, when dementia has taken so much, his whole face lights up if someone mentions the Army. He’ll share stories from those years, and for a moment, we see the man we’ve always loved and the man we’re fighting so hard not to lose.

But recently, things have taken a sharp turn. Within just three days, he suffered three dangerous falls. One that left him bloody, confused, and in the hospital. He’s becoming more disoriented and unstable by the day. And while we still see glimpses of the man who once provided for us all… keeping him safe now is more than we can do alone.

For nearly 60 years, my Nana, Margie, has been PaJim’s constant. She’s always been the glue that holds us all together. Even while battling her own health struggles, she’s never stopped showing up for him through every appointment and every hard day. A few months ago, she was in a car accident that injured her knee badly enough that she now needs surgery. Even while facing that, she’s kept pushing forward with the same quiet strength she’s always had. And now, dementia has brought heartbreaking changes in PaJim’s personality. The confusion and frustration often fall hardest on Nana, leaving her to carry not just the physical strain, but the emotional weight too.

Thankfully, she hasn’t been alone. Her son, Kevin, lives with them, works full-time, and raising two daughters at home all while supporting his parents. He fixes what’s broken, keeps the household running, and makes sure everyone is cared for. He’s doing more than most people could manage, but the weight he and Nana carry emotionally, physically, and financially has become impossible without help.

The goal has always been to keep PaJim at home, surrounded by family. But with only a few hours of support each week from the VA, it simply isn’t enough. His needs have grown beyond what can be managed at home and it’s becoming clear that we may have to look at a care facility to keep him safe.

The truth is, the system moves slowly, but the bills don’t. Medicaid may eventually help, but right now the costs are urgent and overwhelming.

That’s why we’re raising funds to:

• Cover the immediate costs of safe care for PaJim, whether through additional in-home nursing or placement in a facility if it becomes necessary.

• Pay for medical expenses and supplies that insurance won’t cover

• Support Nana as she recovers from her accident and prepares for knee surgery

• Ease the financial strain on Kevin so he can keep working and caring for the household without being stretched past his limit

Every dollar helps close the gap between what the system provides and what our family urgently needs.

Our family has done everything we can, but we can’t carry this alone anymore. Now, we need a village. With your help, we can make sure PaJim’s final years are safe, dignified, and surrounded by love, while giving Nana and Kevin the relief they so desperately need. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for helping us carry this load.

With Love,

Amanda

*PaJims oldest granddaughter

-------------------------------------------------

Update:

Thank you so much to everyone who has donated, shared, or sent kind words already, it truly means more than you know.

We just heard back from the VA, and while they are offering up to 30 days of respite care per year in a facility, that’s all that’s guaranteed right now. That barely scratches the surface of what he needs, and it doesn’t solve the ongoing day-to-day struggle.

I've been spending all my "free" time exploring every possible option, through Medicaid, the Area Agency on Aging, and other programs but his care needs are immediate and growing.

That’s why this fundraiser is so important. Every dollar helps bridge the gap between what the system provides and what PaJim actually needs. If you can give or share, please know it makes a real difference for our family.