Support for our brave mom, Carolyn

My mother-in-law, Carolyn, has been dealing with chronic health issues for several years. Last August, she had to have an emergency colon resection, which was life-saving, and ended up in a rehab facility. During her stay there, she contracted COVID for the first time, which made a severe impact on her physical and mental health as well. Her insurance, Medicare, began denying her rehab coverage, so we had to pay out of pocket for the remainder of her stay there. We created a GoFundMe at that time, which was instrumental in allowing her several months of care at another senior living facility. As of Thanksgiving of 2024, mom made the decision to go home so she could try to live out the rest of her life in the place she loved best. At the time, she was able to use her walker thanks to physical therapy, and she was benefiting from occupational therapy as well.

Unfortunately, her OT ended, and her PT, while it continued in her home, was not making a big difference for her based on her strength level. They were about to reassess her for PT once again when she became very ill. We thought she might have Norovirus again (which she got at the second facility), but we noticed that her memory was becoming worse day by day. She would become confused and disoriented. She wasn't eating properly, wasn't staying hydrated. We would go to her house each week on multiple occasions, making sure she had her meds, her groceries, her household chores taken care of, etc. But one day, we found that she hadn't changed her clothes in days, she wasn't clean, and she was not thinking clearly at all. We took her to the ER, and they determined that her head and heart looked fine on a CT scan, but she was showing signs of memory loss and weakness/confusion. They recommended a nursing facility, but we told them the only place mom would be happy was the second facility she was in last October/November. She loved the people there, she liked her room, and she really liked the care she received. Best of all, this place is down the street from us, so we can visit her easily and often. We arranged for mom to go back, and they even have her old room available. They were going to assess her tomorrow (1/22) to see what care level she is currently at.

Then this morning, 1/21, I repeatedly tried reaching her, and she wouldn't answer. I got to her house and found her basically paralyzed from the waist down. She had no use of her legs, she was fearful and in severe pain. I called 911 and got her back to the hospital where they've determined her osteoarthritis is so severe, it's essentially crippling her. They've also formally diagnosed her with dementia. They will be keeping her in the ER, and then tomorrow the senior facility will do their assessment right there at the hospital, then transport her to their location. She will not be returning home again.

We have to sell mom's house, which can take some time, but it's the only money she has for care. Her facility is out of pocket, so insurance won't pay for anything. We applied for a bridge loan, which will essentially help in paying for mom's care until her house sells, but mom doesn't meet the monthly income criteria. They've told us we need to cosign on this loan, and we have no idea if it will go through.

Right now, we are very unsure what will happen with the sale of mom's home, how long that will take, and if we can afford her care level. (Each level of care has higher costs in addition to rent.) After speaking with a lifelong friend of mom's, she encouraged me to create another GoFundMe for mom. I will be honest - I hate to have to do this. I wish we didn't need the extra financial support. She was so blessed last year with donations from friends, family, and people she's never even met. We didn't imagine we would end up in this situation again so soon.

We are truly grateful for any help mom can receive. Thank you all so much.