Support for Meaghan and Dave

David & Meaghan want to thank everyone who has donated any amount. Everyone’s generosity will allow them a lot more space to heal, save Meaghan from immediately having to hustle for work, and provide needed resources for professional supports and counselling specific to their situation. They have asked that we deactivate the donations page, as they say they have received more.

For those who are still interested in donating, they say thank you, and have suggested giving to the following charities instead:

Mount Sinai Foundation: http://support.supportsinai.com/site/PageNavigator/Donation%20Pages/DonationLanding.html

Michael Garron (Toronto East) Hospital Foundation: https://www.mghf.ca/

Camp Kerry Society for grieving families: https://campkerrysociety.org/donate-now/

Women’s Health in Women’s Hands (provides Primary Healthcare to Women of Colour from the Caribbean, African, Latin American and South Asian communities in Metropolitan Toronto): https://www.canadahelps.org/en/dn/15770

Hello friends,

David and Meaghan lost their baby girl Magdalena on April 30. After her parents spent a week in hospital, Magdalena was born at 22 weeks and was not yet old enough to remain with us. Their loss has led to a sudden change in their working lives and they are in need of some  financial support for the next few months.

Dave has been provided emergency leave from his job. Meaghan had just finished her first year of grad school, and was only a few shifts into the new job that was going to get her enough EI hours for maternity leave. As a result, she does not qualify for any type of benefits. She hasn’t begun to think about what is next in her life, but in a perfect world they would like to keep financial stresses off while she heals and works towards beginning that process.

Meaghan and David are home safe now and their community has set up this fundraiser to help them through this sad time. 

Any donation is greatly appreciated in order give them a few months of rest and relief.

Below are some notes from Meaghan and Dave about their experience in the hospital and their all too brief time with their daughter.

From Meaghan
Hello friends & family. Thank you so much for your continued support and your prayers.

Magdalena  was born on Friday around 2pm and died shortly before that.

Magdalena had a strong heartbeat and was a little big for a 22 week old.

Nothing her or I did could have changed what happened. This is comforting and infuriating. The doctor said her heart would likely stop beating as she left my body but that for her it would just be like falling asleep. We took a lot of comfort from this. She did not experience pain and she never will.

She was so strong. She kept us going. What we wanted was to do everything in our power to keep her safe inside me until she could be viable outside. We did everything in our power, but fate did not allow the outcome we had hoped for. We are going to have many feelings about this. She was a gift all the same.

When we saw her, we knew how far away she would have been from being able to survive even with the most advanced scientific supports. Still, she was beautiful. She looked like a saint, ancient, powerful, ours, entirely hers, she existed outside of time and space.

Our child amazed us all week.  Her heartbeat was strong in the most unlikely conditions. We were in awe of her. We are in awe. She will continue to restore us throughout this painful journey. Her strength restored me and still builds me up. I can feel it. While I carried her, the three of us spent a lot of intentional time communicating with each other. She only lived in my body and with our voices and our gentle hands. She only lived in our world. She will be with us always.

From Dave
When it was clear that our baby would be born without any life remaining, we decided we would stick with the name Murph (which we had used to refer to the baby in utero), because we had become so comfortable and in love with it.

However, when we met our daughter, we exchanged a glance and both knew that Magdalena was her name.

Yesterday, the hospital chaplain helped us to organize a small ceremony, in which we listened to a song by John Coltrane that Meaghan and the baby had listened to together many times (How Deep Is The Ocean), and read a few short bible verses that were selected for us by her grandfather Jack.

Today, Meaghan spent much time sitting with Magdalena, speaking to her about her strength and our love. I danced with her to a song by Brandon Flowers that shares her name, introduced her to the Leonard Cohen song I have tattooed on my arm, as well as a recording of the song I wrote for her a while back. She let me travel with her through all of time, and we even shared the first dance at her absolutely fabulous big gay wedding, which was The Highwomen (by… The Highwomen). This song reminded us that she is forever, and she will always be with us, in the wind and the sun and the tiny drops of rain, and in the many powerful women that have gone before and will come after.

We love her. We love you guys. We promise that we will ask for help when and as we need it. We know we are only beginning a long journey and we will lean on your love and your support for the road ahead.