At 47 i came down with rare bone disease well i had it for long time and didn't know cause I worked as i didn't set down till done cause I'm not getting up. So one and half to two jobs my whole life. Worked 10yrs old on farm by 12 driving tractor, log splitter and chainsaw cutting trees down so my family had warmth 14 was my first job and still worked on farm and went to school. There was no i can't or not right now, I ended up dropping out of school to help my family. From the time I was ten and found my dead dad's body from suicide was like we was cursed lost our 2500 acres to strokes, dementia all kinds of things. But always taught buck up and move on didn't celebrate holidays that's another day for work. Then my gma got her farm taking by our cousin that was suppose to be split between us. Anyway so bounced around no family but friends. Still taught everything works a certain way step back look and get to fixing. OK now Besides point always go straight to person to solve things and never ask for hand out but always offer some. OK recently I got hit with identity theft breach thing and got my social and all. He used ai with some online teaching thing they can watch everything i do. 146 times my digital footprint was sold and been in 4 breaches, had family steal from me and when started losing houses and everything from disease and cancer. I pawned xbox1 and computer didn't ever think i would lose it last of my family pics and everything was on it, well a girl got it without resetting it they just sold it so she had my info and she been arrested so many times seem like didn't matter to them and family member that took other things it's family but still how you feel not the blood. Didn't make much money cause body become paralyzed and I can't work. Do you know how hard it is to lay in bed when all you knew was work and don't ask for nothing provide for you and family by all means. Anyway this hacker guy used all kinds ip addresses which was good cause don't get out of bed was supposed to die few months ago don't keep track and he is using some ai to do things and they said last known location was Ireland. Now all kinds bills from him and people don't care and I had 3 medical companies and Medicare and little link but lost it all. Didn't take ssdi cause I'm paid in if had ssi would have lost it. Anyway lost medical 3 times this year thought was hacker but not sure if him or government cause im afraid to trust anyone. lost link but OK cancer makes me not want to eat. But thing is I paid in by 47 where I got ssdi avd have enough points for retirement plus 10 points left over. Also was firm believer in Trump out of the choices but he's been taking away certain things so people would work, totally understand but I can't work not my choice and like the hacker he did things and I'm being punished and now their taking medical, link and now talking about social. Im glad i lost everything and started again cause things like that make you a better person. It can't be wrong if wake up every day have people in your life and I pray for others but instead I think God for letting me have each day he gives me i can't complain out of everything I have done had great life and now great ending i got married for first time to my best friend at 49yrs old. but that right there should tell you takes certain type of person to take on someone like me she taught me sometimes it's OK to ask. I was saving money for burial and a wheelchair I never got one because in my head this was temporary now I'm gonna die so it's already affecting me. For prove i get ssdi and Medicare for senior citizens cause I'm terminally ill. i tell you what laying in bed 24 hrs a day for months on end and i know I'm not the first one but makes you realize what to be thankful for and not to take advantage of. I have always tried to help people rather it be money or work and now can't do either kills me, used to go hiking with the kids or go outside and play. My daughter came to me with her doll head that popped off when i put back on she had a look like a was amazing that simple thing made her so happy now everyone forgetting what it's like as a adult and forget what is like as a kid simple things do matter. Hold a spot open, say hi or tell them your proud of they look nice. I don't care what people think or anything, if i can make someone laugh thats two minutes they aren't thinking how bad their life is. Also everyone is different what may happen to you and you get upset i may figure that's life and go on or same with me but i can never feel the way someone else does but if i can and reach the same level with them just do it cause it's right not for recognition. I have same condition as Celine dion but her bones more fragile so hers is worse and again I'm not in her shoes the way each of us think pain is can be totally different. I used to go to Walmart for exercise, then went there to get out of house but last time i went I tried a scooter thing and one i was so ashamed of my self because other people deserve more than me but what can I do these are the cards I got dealt and if one thing was different it could change it all. I really would like to thank all the people that helped me, taught me or let me help them its really an honor the people I've met in my life. Anyway Walmart cart are crazy One of the turns I had to do sharp and quick snap my collarbone now with insurance, I don't even know what i got besides I make 1092 per month and pay 153.19 for Medicare and I don't know how gonna do anything if i don't have Medicare or check but cause my condition there's no help for me anymore talking about hospice but I don't know if I'm covered. That being said I hope you never have this or anyone you love because this isn't good to see this and your kids knowing that your gonna die that was hard decision tell them and let them slowly get use to it but was the idea we come up with. Thank you all for listening if you even read it so long avd I'm hurting so very confusing I'm sure cause i can't shut up lol. god bless you, I have finally been married, never took vacation and lost most my friends cause I worked to much or life in general. But yeah not smart enough to make money to save, well i did hacker took it or i helped to many people to save enough. So yeah I don't believe the world is the way it was anymore and there's no way to show the kids about learning from elders or respecting them its just far gone i think to save, i feel for everyone and their kids or grandkids. Thanks for reading this and if you guys can't help i understand maybe if you tell someone maybe they know where i can get help. Just remember if you loan me anything or something towards that I never know when I won't wake up. Also good chance I won't have enough to pay back very much. I mean alot of things I want a house for kids to play not trailer park, here anyway I'm sure there is nice ones. Maybe a cheap vehicle or someone help me fix mine used to be mechanic i can walk anyone through but not sure if anyone can do that. Oh yeah car got repoed then I had 5 cars they kept breaking down so used one to pay someone come fix my truck, well didn't work out he got free car and then tried again and all didn't work out another free car. I'm just to trustworthy and not use to asking. So right now they sharing our daughters truck cause two broke down but ready to fix i just can't. But that's things I would like oh to take kids somewhere on vacation last memory type thing. But all that's not needed is want or like. But a wheelchair with joystick so I can get out with kids even in yard. other thing I was paying on my funeral expenses ahead of time so family not left with burden that's all gone. I'm donating all parts and organs even if they can only use for testing 5 spots of cancer should help hopefully, then rest of me cremate and my wife said she would agree with my strange arrangements if I let her get ashes cause didn't want to but started thinking there's a place we all used to hike, fish and cook. So some of my ashes gonna be put there cause some of the best times. But no funeral, wake or any type of service. Everyone knows how I was remember me that way, also thank be easier on everyone. That's it so if there's agency with grant or help with wheelchair or cremation or any other type of help would be nice avd sorry i have to ask this way. Thank you guys and god bless if can't help it will be OK you got life and things to take care of and I'm dying so I won't care. Just don't want to leave big burden on family. Thank you, God bless and have a good day. i am who I am and it is what it is. I'm not changing now I'm sure you all have seen things like this im not smartest and getting worse but I got faith in God and hopefully you all you can understand it. Have a good day