Hello, everyone. Let me start with a little backstory. Like a lot of people in the 90s, I played high school football. Then, I went on to college at Southern Arkansas University and played football there as an offensive lineman, graduating in the summer of ‘98.

During my last 2 years playing, I “got my bell wrung” a bunch of times with such major hits that I actually recall being out and feeling majorly disoriented.

With basically zero concussion protocol back then, I just went on like it didn’t happen, only for it to happen over and over again after that first major hit during my junior year. It seems like I got knocked out at least once per game during my junior and senior seasons.

Back then, showing any weakness was seen as a terrible thing. We kept pushing for the greater good of the team and continued to put ourselves on the line. We didn't know about the long-term consequences.

I had a clean bill of health upon entering college and, after years of head trauma, graduated. Soon after, I was diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome, but I didn't connect the dots. I didn’t make a big deal about it; I just moved on, dealing with some noticeable "tics" and taking medication that my doctor warned could have long-term effects.

Aside from Tourette’s, my life seemed “normal” until 2010 - about 10-15 years after my major concussions - when I started getting feelings as if I was riding/walking on ice. It never lasted all that long, so I just pushed through.

In 2016, I started noticing many disorienting feelings, which was the first of what has become my major issue: Any movement causes me to feel disoriented. From 2016 to 2021, I just kept pushing through it despite it making things like driving or working in crowded places extremely difficult.

In 2021, I had insurance and had many tests done over a period of months, the last of which lasted 5 hours with an ENT. After reviewing the results, her entire tone of voice changed. I asked why.

I will never unhear what she said: “I’m just sorry you are so young” (I was 44 at the time).

She explained that all my symptoms were what an 80-year-old should have and was told it was only going to get worse. And it has.

She ultimately diagnosed me with C.T.E. from all my brain trauma in my past. Her diagnosis scared me, but like always, I just tried to put my head down and keep pushing.

This leads me to the last couple of years when even the simplest tasks have become very difficult. The struggle with movement, lights, and sensory overload has made it to where I can barely be outside, and grocery shopping is a huge physical struggle.

My passion in life was training, particularly those with special needs. Working with people who others had given up on and seeing them grow stronger physically and more confident was the most wonderful thing I've ever done. However, I’ve had to give this up as I get too disoriented to last the entire session. Being forced to give up what I believe is my reason for being is not good, to say the least.

I have for years just put my head down and went to work to make things work .. but it’s gotten to where I can barely walk without trekking poles, get confused easily and multitasking is a thing of the past. I had to sell my truck and even my bicycle, as I just could not drive or ride anymore.

To say I am terrified is an understatement. I cannot fend for myself anymore, at least at this point.

I feel extremely guilty to ask for help, but I’m in a terrible spot.

I have recently gotten approved for the Pinellas Health care through the health dept, so I can finally get to a doctor to take care of underlying issues and hopefully help advocate for disability.

Any money donated would go toward travel to and from doctor's appointments, rent, utilities, and nothing else.

Every day, I fear what’s to come, and I’m terrified of ending up on the streets, and I’m just not strong enough for that.