- H
Hi,
My name is Bodine and this is my Cancer story:
I am a single mom of two spirited teenage boys and one very big rescue dog.
I have known hardship as life has thrown me some doozies lately but I am a fighter and independent and keep going- even after my brain injury that dramatically slowed me down in 2018 and made life very different and challenging-as brain injuries cause a myriad of confusing symptoms- such as nausea , exhaustion and a general sense of malaise to name very few- but pertinent to my story- this caused multiple issues and for both me and my kids-as keeping up with my daily responsibilities was impaired- life felt like it was on hold as I tried to recover - I kept plowing forward and started to feel much better by february of 2020.
I thought it was all behind me until many symptoms came back in the summer and I was told it was normal for brain injuries to relapse if I was not well rested.
In the fall of 2020 I started to experience more pronounced symptoms of nausea and digestive issues- lack of energy - I was assured by my GP that it was just perimenopause. I was referred to a specialist -the appointment was in March of 2021.
By december 2020 I was bleeding extremely heavy -and again told it was just perimenopause- over the phone with no exam as covid lockdowns did not permit in office visits.
In february my bleeding was now borderline hemorrhaging- I was nauseous and exhausted and didn't know what was concussion and what was perimenopause This continued for months and without being examined .
I was given medications to slow down bleeding- by another doctor -by telemedicine and told myself I'll see the "specialist"soon- just hold on- and in march this specialist I had been waiting so long to see- actually only spoke with over the phone also told me it was perimenopause and prescribed me a boatload of hormones and other meds to ease my symptoms.
I was skeptical by this point I was willing to try anything to feel better -
I was feeling like I had morning sickness all day- low back pain- bloated and had to force feed myself -any time I ate a few bites it felt like I ate an entire buffet.
I was unable to walk my dog or walk upright for days at a time or make dinner for my kids- ubereats became frequent for them-- I was unable keep up with daily chores or errands and the weight loss was showing- as a fit person - I didn't have much to lose.
I was desperate to get back to normal.
In april of 2021 only 3.5 weeks of taking prescribed meds I began to feel worse- the bleeding worsened - I came down with a high fever and I was vomiting-this lasted 36 hours - I called dr immediately and asked if this was a side effect of hormones. I was sent for an ultra sound and within the day I was called and told
" they suspect cancer"
I was in disbelief- somehow I never expected that- I am fit- I am healthy -I was a yoga teacher - I filter my water !! how is this happening?
Life has not been the same since.
After more tests over the last couple months - imaging- MRI - CT scans and multiple pelvic exams - 2 doctors at Ottawa Riverside oncology have confirmed that the complex solid masses on each ovary is indeed malignant. I am awaiting surgery - full hysterectomy recommended-and their prescribed next steps -they cannot tell until they biopsy the tumour to understand what kind of cancer we are dealing with-
Waiting is the hardest part.
Not knowing what the future brings is torture.
I am so worried about my kids- and even my dog.
Who will take care of them?
My surgery and everything that comes after and because of it will require a lot of strength from me to recover and as a "healthy and fit" person I am told I have a good chance to bounce back faster after surgery -but since this began I have lost weight and a lot of my strength- my legs feel wobbly sometimes and am currently 88 pounds -anyone that knows me understands how difficult it is for me to feel vulnerable or weak- I loved lifting weights.
I am unable to eat solid food at this time as the digestive discomfort is unbearable- the size of the masses leave little room for food and I have been living off smoothies and juice.
I have done a lot of research on ovarian cancer and it doesn't look good- it can be aggressive and fast moving-so far it has not seem to spread other than the suspected uterus- this has not been confirmed but not ruled out.
The abdominal CT scan noted that I "lacked adequate inter abdominal fat "to be able to see clearly so they could not rule out Peritoneal carcinoma - which is suspected due to free flowing pelvic fluid- which was shown in all scans and tests as a concern- so I am willing to do everything and everything - I mean EVERYTHING I can do and that is available to me to heal and recover and have a longer that the stats show for life expectancy. I want to grow old and see my grandchildren.
I am taking an integrative cancer treatment approach -meaning my course of treatment is combining modern allopathic medicine - ie:surgery and listening to oncologist's recommendations and a holistic approach to help my body heal through the invasion of cancer and its removal through surgery- this includes a labour intensive regime of detoxing,
immune strengthening with proven cancer fighting supplements and vitamins-
a complete nutritional overhaul including juicing
incorporating naturopathic treatments -
working closely with well renowned naturopathic practitioners and using the principles of healing I believe in such as:
emotional support through therapy and homeopathy -water distillation
naturopathic remedies and herbal teas and a spiritual practice of gratitude and prayer and most importantly lots of rest for healing but I unfortunately lack the support of friends and family due to distance and covid and other...
I am currently alone fighting this nightmare and have been under overwhelming duress.
I am still in shock I think.
The emotional -physical and spiritual and financial strain has been tremendously difficult for me as a woman and as a mother of two teen boys - in this world at this time- I understand it's been difficult for everyone.
I have barely been functional for the last several months and need support on many fronts - like cooking and cleaning and getting groceries- this simple things became impossible as I have become so ill. I've never missed cleaning my house this much.
Life is not ever a guarantee- and we should look at each day as a gift- hard to do and remember in the mundane world of household chores and day to day life - this we all have heard - yet until a life threatening illness comes to your door- and moves in-you cant fully understand this concept-I know I didn't.
I want to be able to go through this process of still living with less strain and be able to be present with my kids and in life and why I have started a go fund me - I am asking for help. I need support.
If you feel called to donate to my small family as we navigate down this road to battle cancer -I thank you and if you are unable to help support financially I would be equally as grateful if you could keep me and my two sons , Ocean and Phoenix in your prayers.
Prayer is powerful.
If you feel called to share my story with anyone that may be interested , please do-your sister, mother, friend, aunt as I feel very strongly about women not having their symptoms taken seriously and also not speaking up to be heard, we just don't- we get busy with the kids and life and taking care of others until its an emergency- It can mean life or death.
Ladies please fight to be heard- listen to your bodies and don't ignore your intuition- if you feel as though its more than the dr's say - speak up and don't stop until they listen. If you have a friend ignoring pain and symptoms like the ones I mentioned - please say something- urge them to seek care.
https://www.cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/cancer-type/ovarian/signs-and-symptoms/?region=on
I will continue to update as I go for surgery and on how my treatment and healing journey continues.
I won't go down without a fight but I need the support of my community to do this- not just financially but in prayer- in spirit- and with encouraging words- even if they are silent and from a far.
thank you
in GRATITUDE -
Bodine, Ocean , Phoenix & Kai
My name is Bodine and this is my Cancer story:
I am a single mom of two spirited teenage boys and one very big rescue dog.
I have known hardship as life has thrown me some doozies lately but I am a fighter and independent and keep going- even after my brain injury that dramatically slowed me down in 2018 and made life very different and challenging-as brain injuries cause a myriad of confusing symptoms- such as nausea , exhaustion and a general sense of malaise to name very few- but pertinent to my story- this caused multiple issues and for both me and my kids-as keeping up with my daily responsibilities was impaired- life felt like it was on hold as I tried to recover - I kept plowing forward and started to feel much better by february of 2020.
I thought it was all behind me until many symptoms came back in the summer and I was told it was normal for brain injuries to relapse if I was not well rested.
In the fall of 2020 I started to experience more pronounced symptoms of nausea and digestive issues- lack of energy - I was assured by my GP that it was just perimenopause. I was referred to a specialist -the appointment was in March of 2021.
By december 2020 I was bleeding extremely heavy -and again told it was just perimenopause- over the phone with no exam as covid lockdowns did not permit in office visits.
In february my bleeding was now borderline hemorrhaging- I was nauseous and exhausted and didn't know what was concussion and what was perimenopause This continued for months and without being examined .
I was given medications to slow down bleeding- by another doctor -by telemedicine and told myself I'll see the "specialist"soon- just hold on- and in march this specialist I had been waiting so long to see- actually only spoke with over the phone also told me it was perimenopause and prescribed me a boatload of hormones and other meds to ease my symptoms.
I was skeptical by this point I was willing to try anything to feel better -
I was feeling like I had morning sickness all day- low back pain- bloated and had to force feed myself -any time I ate a few bites it felt like I ate an entire buffet.
I was unable to walk my dog or walk upright for days at a time or make dinner for my kids- ubereats became frequent for them-- I was unable keep up with daily chores or errands and the weight loss was showing- as a fit person - I didn't have much to lose.
I was desperate to get back to normal.
In april of 2021 only 3.5 weeks of taking prescribed meds I began to feel worse- the bleeding worsened - I came down with a high fever and I was vomiting-this lasted 36 hours - I called dr immediately and asked if this was a side effect of hormones. I was sent for an ultra sound and within the day I was called and told
" they suspect cancer"
I was in disbelief- somehow I never expected that- I am fit- I am healthy -I was a yoga teacher - I filter my water !! how is this happening?
Life has not been the same since.
After more tests over the last couple months - imaging- MRI - CT scans and multiple pelvic exams - 2 doctors at Ottawa Riverside oncology have confirmed that the complex solid masses on each ovary is indeed malignant. I am awaiting surgery - full hysterectomy recommended-and their prescribed next steps -they cannot tell until they biopsy the tumour to understand what kind of cancer we are dealing with-
Waiting is the hardest part.
Not knowing what the future brings is torture.
I am so worried about my kids- and even my dog.
Who will take care of them?
My surgery and everything that comes after and because of it will require a lot of strength from me to recover and as a "healthy and fit" person I am told I have a good chance to bounce back faster after surgery -but since this began I have lost weight and a lot of my strength- my legs feel wobbly sometimes and am currently 88 pounds -anyone that knows me understands how difficult it is for me to feel vulnerable or weak- I loved lifting weights.
I am unable to eat solid food at this time as the digestive discomfort is unbearable- the size of the masses leave little room for food and I have been living off smoothies and juice.
I have done a lot of research on ovarian cancer and it doesn't look good- it can be aggressive and fast moving-so far it has not seem to spread other than the suspected uterus- this has not been confirmed but not ruled out.
The abdominal CT scan noted that I "lacked adequate inter abdominal fat "to be able to see clearly so they could not rule out Peritoneal carcinoma - which is suspected due to free flowing pelvic fluid- which was shown in all scans and tests as a concern- so I am willing to do everything and everything - I mean EVERYTHING I can do and that is available to me to heal and recover and have a longer that the stats show for life expectancy. I want to grow old and see my grandchildren.
I am taking an integrative cancer treatment approach -meaning my course of treatment is combining modern allopathic medicine - ie:surgery and listening to oncologist's recommendations and a holistic approach to help my body heal through the invasion of cancer and its removal through surgery- this includes a labour intensive regime of detoxing,
immune strengthening with proven cancer fighting supplements and vitamins-
a complete nutritional overhaul including juicing
incorporating naturopathic treatments -
working closely with well renowned naturopathic practitioners and using the principles of healing I believe in such as:
emotional support through therapy and homeopathy -water distillation
naturopathic remedies and herbal teas and a spiritual practice of gratitude and prayer and most importantly lots of rest for healing but I unfortunately lack the support of friends and family due to distance and covid and other...
I am currently alone fighting this nightmare and have been under overwhelming duress.
I am still in shock I think.
The emotional -physical and spiritual and financial strain has been tremendously difficult for me as a woman and as a mother of two teen boys - in this world at this time- I understand it's been difficult for everyone.
I have barely been functional for the last several months and need support on many fronts - like cooking and cleaning and getting groceries- this simple things became impossible as I have become so ill. I've never missed cleaning my house this much.
Life is not ever a guarantee- and we should look at each day as a gift- hard to do and remember in the mundane world of household chores and day to day life - this we all have heard - yet until a life threatening illness comes to your door- and moves in-you cant fully understand this concept-I know I didn't.
I want to be able to go through this process of still living with less strain and be able to be present with my kids and in life and why I have started a go fund me - I am asking for help. I need support.
If you feel called to donate to my small family as we navigate down this road to battle cancer -I thank you and if you are unable to help support financially I would be equally as grateful if you could keep me and my two sons , Ocean and Phoenix in your prayers.
Prayer is powerful.
If you feel called to share my story with anyone that may be interested , please do-your sister, mother, friend, aunt as I feel very strongly about women not having their symptoms taken seriously and also not speaking up to be heard, we just don't- we get busy with the kids and life and taking care of others until its an emergency- It can mean life or death.
Ladies please fight to be heard- listen to your bodies and don't ignore your intuition- if you feel as though its more than the dr's say - speak up and don't stop until they listen. If you have a friend ignoring pain and symptoms like the ones I mentioned - please say something- urge them to seek care.
https://www.cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/cancer-type/ovarian/signs-and-symptoms/?region=on
I will continue to update as I go for surgery and on how my treatment and healing journey continues.
I won't go down without a fight but I need the support of my community to do this- not just financially but in prayer- in spirit- and with encouraging words- even if they are silent and from a far.
thank you
in GRATITUDE -
Bodine, Ocean , Phoenix & Kai