Support for Antwon & Whitney

Hello, I am a friend of Antwon McMillon & Whitney Hollis.

As most of you have heard, Whitney went into labor at 31 weeks and was taken to Houston Children’s Hospital and sadly their son did not make it. They are recovering at home now, physically and emotionally.

I have reached out to several people who would like to be there for Antwon and Whitney during this very difficult time and we decided a Go Fund Me would be the most appropriate option. Any money raised will go directly to Antwon and they can use it towards medical bills, covering being off work, a trip to get away, or anything else they see fit.

I have conferred with both family and friends for this, please let me know if you have any questions.

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Whitney shared the following details:

Caius Asher Hollis McMillon

5/3/21

6:19 am

4 lbs, 4 ounces

16 inches

We found out during his 22 week ultrasound that he had a lower urinary tract obstruction, which caused bladder and kidney damage, and led to anhydramnios (lack of amniotic fluid to surround the baby). Without fluid the lungs couldn’t develop. We rushed down to Houston Children’s Hospital for a possible intervention to save him, but there was nothing the doctors could do. Our sweet boy would continue to grow in the womb, but would never be able to take a breath of air.

Still he was beautiful, and perfect, and so deeply loved. We got to hold him, dress him in clothes given to him by family, swaddle him, take pictures and stay with him at the hospital for a couple days. Caius looked a lot like his dad, Antwon. He had the sweetest face, perfect long fingers and legs, and a full head of silky black hair. I didn’t ever want to put him down.

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Antwon shared the following:

 

I’ve been avoiding doing this, but it seems that I must in orderHave conversations the right way instead of surprising people when they congratulate me.

 

It’s been a week and a few days last Monday on May 3rd

 

Whitney Hollis went into labor and gave birth to my first child, my son

Caius Asher Hollis McMillon.

He passed away before he took his first breath.

 

My heart is broken. My soul is broken. My spirit is broken. I’m literally shook to my core.

 

Knowing that there were complications, but hoping and praying for a miracle, I watched them cut the umbilical cord and hand him to Whitney. While Watching her embrace him. I was utter shock. That My son has entered this earth. I waited for him to cry out. For 2 hours I stared at him and waited for him to wake up. For him to scream out. All the other babies in the unit were crying. When will he. Where was my miracle. I told myself over and over again he was just sleeping and he would awake soon and then I would hold him. He never did. He still hasn’t. The truth set in! He never will. And my heart shatters into oblivion.

 

I watched my All my dreams of being the best dad ended right there on the 6th floor of St.John’s hospital room 12. I will never forget that place.

 

All the milestones, the conversation we would have. The things I wanted to teach him. The love I wanted to give him. The knowledge I would bestow upon him. Gone. The things he would teach me. The moments we would share. The long talks that We would have had. Gone. What he would call me. Pop, Dad, old man, Papi. Gone.I waited my whole entire life for this opportunity and now it’s gone. Now I get to plan to cremate or burry him. Something I never thought I would have to do.

 

I had to watch Whitney hold him for 2 days and my heart broke every second I had to witness this most tragic thing in my life. She did not put him down for 2 days. not to sleep! not to eat. Only to use the bathroom and to change his clothes. She swaddled and reswaddled him. She talked to him and loved on him. She played with his soft full head of black hair. For 2 days I had to watch her be the best mother on earth to a baby she berthed a day before that never took a breath. To add salt to injury. We eventually had to leave my son there. Which was the new hardest thing I ever had to do. I had to tell Whitney we had to go. We said our goodbye and we walked tearfully out of room 12, down the hall to the garage, got into my SUV and drove away from my first born child!

 

My heart is broken, my spirit is broken. my soul, broken.

 

To make matters even more difficult.

This weekend we went to the funeral home to make decisions of his remains.

To add damage to the already damaged. This is also the weekend of Whitney’s first Mother’s Day.

 

Our hearts our poor hearts!

 

When Whitney went into labor the doctor asked for his name. Can you imagine the feeling of embarrassment and shame that I felt when not having a name. But after he was born. We picked a perfect name fitting for just him.

 

Caius means to rejoice and Asher means to be Happy.

So that’s what I will do, but not until I shed all the tears he deserves.

 

Most of you have seen me out since this tragic day. I carry a smile. That’s just what I do. But, just know. I was prolly in my car crying my face off before I walked. I will continue to do that until

I’m done doing that.

 

I was excited to share in his arrival with you all. I wanted many shower celebrations. Whitney thought I was crazy.

I wanted a shower for each friend group. For my tahlequah people. My new friends here in tulsa. My okmulgee friends. My college friends.

I wanted to Showers for both of our families. I wanted to have a few dude gathering to play paintball or Corn hole. Just get together, laugh drink and hear all of their having a kid stories. Their Trails, errors, successes and what to expects! But here I am drowning in my seemingly never ending sorrow.

 

Many of reached out and have given there time, food and gift cards. If you ask me what I need. The only thing I can think of is not to being going through this. I would like to have my son.

I was told by a friend “to not be stubborn, and so independent that you want allow people to bless youand let people be a part of my comforting”. “That I ain’t that hard” and That i shouldn’t do this alone.

So I will do that . But I don’t know what we need.

 

Hell Whitney and I could us a good get away, a break. 32 weeks of growing and carrying a child, making selfless sacrifice after sacrifice for the betterment of the kid, only to find out that the kid will be still born or not live very long after birth and still deciding to carry him till term, if it will allow an inkling of a chance a miracle could happen can take a toll on a women. But we don’t know.

 

So just bless us however you want. However you can. However you deem necessary. Don’t feel obligated to. That’s not what this is about.

 

I’m sorry I haven’t reached back out to people who’ve called or text I just haven’t been able to talk.

I will reach back out. So don’t stop checking on me. Just give me time.

 

Embrace your friends, you don’t know what they are going through! Embrace your kids. Hold them tight tonight and every night for ever. Enjoy in their presence. There are people out here who don’t get to have those opportunities.

 

Thank you. We appreciate you all.

 

***I didn’t mean for this to be this long it just all rushed out sorry****

 

***** please understand that you have the option not to look at these pictures. I don’t mean to be distasteful***** I’m just so proud of him***.

 

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Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any contributions. Please continue to keep their family in your prayers.