Support Evan's Health and Transition Costs (1 YR)
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Today is Father's day and I put a picture of my father for the cover photo. This is to protect Evan's privacy and also I want to tell you a story that honors my father's legacy and how it continues in Evan. I choose the photo of my wedding because that's the day that my father gave me away. I was very stressed on my wedding day, as a young woman, I was preoccupied with the challenges of starting out new life, and wasn't really thinking deeply about my parents' emotional state. Now as a mother myself, I truly appreciate what it meant for my father and the emotions that he might have felt on that day.
My father, just like Evan, had an amazing memory. My mother told me that my father memorized the English dictionary. My father loved learning. He would torn pages from an English dictionary and put it in his pocket so he can take it out and memorize it anytime there is a break in his schedule.
My father was also anxious like Evan. When I took Evan on campus tour in U.C. Davis, he was too anxious even to walk into the cafeteria. While Evan experiences intense social anxiety, my father was very anxious about money. There was a good reason. While in his 20's, after WWII, as Japanese withdraw from China, my father's Japanese teacher told him that my father, an educated man, had to get out of China as the Communist started to gain power. His teacher saved my father's life, as later on, the cultural revolution prosecuted all educated citizens. However, it was a very painful decision for my father, who had to say goodbye to this mother--my father's last memory of my grandmother haunted him for life. Unknown to my father at the time, he was never ever to see his mother again and the last memory he had, was her mother looked at him with grief and resentment, not understanding why her only son would choose to abandon her. To finance for his trip, my father's sister gave him her gold ring -- during the war, money no longer had value. From that point on, my father started his life as a refugee and traded that gold ring for beddings that he carried with him on his back and traveled all the way across the ocean to Taiwan. He had pretty much nothing when he arrived. His anxiety over money contributed to much of the conflicts with my mother and It later on sow the seed of the life-defining tragedy in my life when I was 3 years old. Then with grace, I was finally on the path of healing in my 40s and has led me to the spiritual path that I am on today.
To build wealth from nothing, my father saved. In his diary, he recorded how many peanuts he ate for a meal and how much money they cost. He worked odd jobs, such as tutoring and translating on top of his full-time job. Even after he saved enough money, I still remember countless fights over medical expenses between my father and my mother -- I was a very sick child. One thing I had to say about my father was that he was hardest on himself. He would spend money on us that he wouldn’t spend on himself. Toward the end of his life, he turned down heart surgery to save money for us. He died of heart disease. Another thing about my father, that the only thing he would spend on was further someone's education. He has never agreed to invest anything to make more money, however, If someone asked to borrow money for education purposes, he would loan the money and not expecting any return. My father was kind.
In 2008, when I received my inheritance, I had a very mixed feeling. A big part of it was anger -- was money more important than family, relationship, and health? For me that money was an accumulation of the psychological pain that I grew up as a child. Those money were the results of suffering of our family. Maybe money was my father's way of showing us love, but at what cost? I also thought about how I should spend those money in the most meaningful way that would honor my father. That's when I decided to put my inheritance into a 529 plan (college education fund). My father never had a chance to meet my children. I wanted my children to experience their grandfather's love, even though they never met.
A week ago that I told Evan that with the 529 inheritance, I can only cover 2 years of his college costs. He anxiously interrupted me. He asked "How about Aliya (his sister)?" Like my father, Evan is kind.
With Covid-19, we all learn that life is uncertain and can take a unpredictive turns. If you would ask me 8 years ago, I would never envision a day that I would be a single mother struggling to cover my children's college and living expenses. Just as I was finally hired last year as a full-time instructor after living in many years of financial insecurity, Aliya's chronic fatigue became severe enough that she was unable to finish her school work and has been struggling to find energy doing things that she enjoys. Aliya has been isolating herself from friends and has hardly gone outside of the house. While I am hoping for the best and continue to find treatments for her, I have to plan for the worst case scenario, having to support two adult children, Aliya and Evan on a teacher's salary.
I have been working very hard to support my children as much as I can. For the last two years, like my father, I have been working at odd jobs in additional to my full-time job. For 7 days a week, I have worked past 1:00am and stay-up all night to finish up work in many occasions. In fact, I have been working nonstop after my divorce, working toward my Ph.D., raising two young children, while teaching at multiple colleges as a part-time teacher. I was hospitalized in 2015 for stress related issues and I am also recently experiencing health issues -- that makes me realize that I need to slow down so I can support my children in the long-term.
Currently, I have Evan's college expense at U.C. Davis covered for 2 years and there is no immediate needs for those. However, I would really appreciate your support for his medical expenses, college supplies, misc. expense (transportation back home, etc.)
Medical expense (insurance premium, therapy, lab, etc) = $3200
College supplies (beddings, computer, min-refrigerator, microwave, etc) = $2200
Transportation (bikes, bike accessories, biking lessons, trip home) = $2300
The total amount is $7,700. I committed to Evan that I will pay half. Therefore, my goal for this is $3,850.00. I rounded it off to $4,000 because of credit card transaction fees charged by GoFundMe. This money will be deposited directly to his bank account for GoFundMe. If there are any extra money, it would roll into next year. I really appreciate your help.
Today is Father's Day. My father died in his sleep and his death was very sudden. During his funeral, I was asked by my older relatives to say the last word to him . I was in my late 20s and a very private person and I did not like to be put on the spot, unprepared, to share something that was very personal to me. I said to my father, "what needed to be said should already be said when people were still alive, and there is not much to be said after one's death." Now after 20 years, what I want to say to my father is
Thou art that is love.
Namaste (The light in me sees the light in you),
Christina and Evan
Last thing, please feel free to share this with those who know our family. Because of the personal nature of this message, I would respectfully ask you to not share this page outside of friends and family.
My father, just like Evan, had an amazing memory. My mother told me that my father memorized the English dictionary. My father loved learning. He would torn pages from an English dictionary and put it in his pocket so he can take it out and memorize it anytime there is a break in his schedule.
My father was also anxious like Evan. When I took Evan on campus tour in U.C. Davis, he was too anxious even to walk into the cafeteria. While Evan experiences intense social anxiety, my father was very anxious about money. There was a good reason. While in his 20's, after WWII, as Japanese withdraw from China, my father's Japanese teacher told him that my father, an educated man, had to get out of China as the Communist started to gain power. His teacher saved my father's life, as later on, the cultural revolution prosecuted all educated citizens. However, it was a very painful decision for my father, who had to say goodbye to this mother--my father's last memory of my grandmother haunted him for life. Unknown to my father at the time, he was never ever to see his mother again and the last memory he had, was her mother looked at him with grief and resentment, not understanding why her only son would choose to abandon her. To finance for his trip, my father's sister gave him her gold ring -- during the war, money no longer had value. From that point on, my father started his life as a refugee and traded that gold ring for beddings that he carried with him on his back and traveled all the way across the ocean to Taiwan. He had pretty much nothing when he arrived. His anxiety over money contributed to much of the conflicts with my mother and It later on sow the seed of the life-defining tragedy in my life when I was 3 years old. Then with grace, I was finally on the path of healing in my 40s and has led me to the spiritual path that I am on today.
To build wealth from nothing, my father saved. In his diary, he recorded how many peanuts he ate for a meal and how much money they cost. He worked odd jobs, such as tutoring and translating on top of his full-time job. Even after he saved enough money, I still remember countless fights over medical expenses between my father and my mother -- I was a very sick child. One thing I had to say about my father was that he was hardest on himself. He would spend money on us that he wouldn’t spend on himself. Toward the end of his life, he turned down heart surgery to save money for us. He died of heart disease. Another thing about my father, that the only thing he would spend on was further someone's education. He has never agreed to invest anything to make more money, however, If someone asked to borrow money for education purposes, he would loan the money and not expecting any return. My father was kind.
In 2008, when I received my inheritance, I had a very mixed feeling. A big part of it was anger -- was money more important than family, relationship, and health? For me that money was an accumulation of the psychological pain that I grew up as a child. Those money were the results of suffering of our family. Maybe money was my father's way of showing us love, but at what cost? I also thought about how I should spend those money in the most meaningful way that would honor my father. That's when I decided to put my inheritance into a 529 plan (college education fund). My father never had a chance to meet my children. I wanted my children to experience their grandfather's love, even though they never met.
A week ago that I told Evan that with the 529 inheritance, I can only cover 2 years of his college costs. He anxiously interrupted me. He asked "How about Aliya (his sister)?" Like my father, Evan is kind.
With Covid-19, we all learn that life is uncertain and can take a unpredictive turns. If you would ask me 8 years ago, I would never envision a day that I would be a single mother struggling to cover my children's college and living expenses. Just as I was finally hired last year as a full-time instructor after living in many years of financial insecurity, Aliya's chronic fatigue became severe enough that she was unable to finish her school work and has been struggling to find energy doing things that she enjoys. Aliya has been isolating herself from friends and has hardly gone outside of the house. While I am hoping for the best and continue to find treatments for her, I have to plan for the worst case scenario, having to support two adult children, Aliya and Evan on a teacher's salary.
I have been working very hard to support my children as much as I can. For the last two years, like my father, I have been working at odd jobs in additional to my full-time job. For 7 days a week, I have worked past 1:00am and stay-up all night to finish up work in many occasions. In fact, I have been working nonstop after my divorce, working toward my Ph.D., raising two young children, while teaching at multiple colleges as a part-time teacher. I was hospitalized in 2015 for stress related issues and I am also recently experiencing health issues -- that makes me realize that I need to slow down so I can support my children in the long-term.
Currently, I have Evan's college expense at U.C. Davis covered for 2 years and there is no immediate needs for those. However, I would really appreciate your support for his medical expenses, college supplies, misc. expense (transportation back home, etc.)
Medical expense (insurance premium, therapy, lab, etc) = $3200
College supplies (beddings, computer, min-refrigerator, microwave, etc) = $2200
Transportation (bikes, bike accessories, biking lessons, trip home) = $2300
The total amount is $7,700. I committed to Evan that I will pay half. Therefore, my goal for this is $3,850.00. I rounded it off to $4,000 because of credit card transaction fees charged by GoFundMe. This money will be deposited directly to his bank account for GoFundMe. If there are any extra money, it would roll into next year. I really appreciate your help.
Today is Father's Day. My father died in his sleep and his death was very sudden. During his funeral, I was asked by my older relatives to say the last word to him . I was in my late 20s and a very private person and I did not like to be put on the spot, unprepared, to share something that was very personal to me. I said to my father, "what needed to be said should already be said when people were still alive, and there is not much to be said after one's death." Now after 20 years, what I want to say to my father is
Thou art that is love.
Namaste (The light in me sees the light in you),
Christina and Evan
Last thing, please feel free to share this with those who know our family. Because of the personal nature of this message, I would respectfully ask you to not share this page outside of friends and family.
Organizer
Christina Shih
Organizer
Sunnyvale, CA