I've been encouraged to create this GoFundMe to ask for help from community in an incredibly unexpected time of painful need. I've never done or asked for something like this before, and I pray that my sincerity, humility, and altruistic heart are recognized through this personal share and call for support.

Hi, everyone. Last August I took over a lovely 5.3-acre property in southern Utah with my now-ex-partner of over two years. The chance to make a home on this land was a blessing that I never saw coming, and an opportunity to bring to life a dream that I've had for a decade: To create a beautiful place for people to come together, build a close-knit community, receive and deliver deeply healing experiences, and be accepted as they are. I'm honored to be able to say that Deva Haven has been all of those things and more for so many people and their families, and I thank all of the people who have shown up to be a part of, contribute to, and receive from what has been built thus far. But in light of recent, heartbreaking circumstances, I find myself needing to lean on community in order to keep things going/operating here while also seeking the therapies that I need to heal from the abuse, betrayal, infidelity, extreme dishonesty, and narcissistic reality of my relationship with Michael.

I'm not really sure how much or how little detail to give here, but I do want to be clear: In no way is my sharing of this intended to hurt, insult, or publicly shame/defame him. The only reason that I am writing this is because I have been completely devastated and incapacitated by uncovering just how abusive this relationship has been, how much infidelity existed, and now living with how severely I have been impacted by the neglect, gaslighting, constant dishonesty, cheating, etc. I haven't been able to work in over a month, my mental/psychological and emotional health has plummeted, dropping me into depression, and both the financial and physical burden that I have been left with in caring for this piece of land by myself are daunting, at best. Losing Deva Haven wouldn't just be losing my home - it would be the loss of what has become a watering hole, safe space, healing and wellness center, and alternative church for my community. Deva Haven was created for all of us, and I intend to continue serving the people who come here with all of my heart for as long and they and it will have me.

In case you don't really know me, I am a Medicine Man and Psychic Medium, and 10 years ago I dedicated my life to helping people in the most impactful and profound ways possible in order to play my part in creating a better world. I quit my full-time job and "came out of the closet" with my spiritual gifts after a serious and scary series of experiences showed me that it was time to follow my purpose. I took off the corporate costume and began to show the world what I had been hiding for my entire life, and I almost couldn't believe the magickal, healing, life-changing experiences that people were having with me. My work deepened, going from one-on-one healing sessions and readings with people, to teaching classes in multiple states, to facilitating large group ceremonial experiences, and eventually working with people virtually all over the world. After 10 years, I have directly worked with and supported thousands of people in their journeys of self-development, healing & wellness, finding purpose, and more. And now that I have a beautiful hub for providing retreat-style experiences and community gatherings, I aim to serve even more.

The first time I stepped foot on the property that I now call "Deva Haven" was around six years ago, when an old friend of mine owned it. She organized lots of paid retreats and spiritual gatherings here, and I was her right hand in facilitating those for a couple of years. I immediately fell in love with this place (as is the trend with people that come here), and I somehow knew that I would become the steward of this land eventually. The property was eventually sold to the current owners, who are two friends of mine that have expressed to me that they feel like they purchased it to hold onto for when I was ready to take it over. I am so grateful to them - Jordan and Shandi - for allowing Michael and myself to call the place "ours" beginning in August of last year. Jordan and Shandi live in northern Utah, and their only involvement with the land is as the landlords (and my friends), and they are also ready to sell it to me should I want to make it officially "mine." In the last year, I have hosted two different types of recurring monthly events, both public and private retreat-style experiences, and also unpaid community gatherings & campouts. My intention with Deva Haven has always been to treat it as a "this is OUR slice of Heaven" project, as opposed to a business that is exclusively for paid events and the sole benefit of my wallet. I really just want to make the world a better place, and that starts here.

I stepped into this dream opportunity as a team with my ex-partner, splitting work on the land and the financial responsibilities 50/50. We were even in the process of getting our ducks in a row to purchase the land but, unfortunately, I now need to reassess and ask for help as I adjust to carrying the full financial responsibility since his departure last week. The ending of our relationship was a decision that I had to make for my wellbeing. While I am more than eager to continue stewarding this land and the community that gathers on it, I am unable to fathom how I will keep my head above water with the pragmatic pieces. (To give insight into even just one layer of the financial picture: The propane bills from last winter alone totaled around $3,000, just from using the furnace in the cabin, which I am still paying off)

Initially, the point of making this GoFundMe was just to give me a bit of a cushion in paying the bills alone here as I take a step back from my private clients in order to get my own therapy and take time to heal from a neglectfully and narcissistically abusive relationship. However, as I write this, I am also seeing that there is an opportunity here to open up to a miracle. So, should this serve for it, I would love to be able to raise enough funds to put toward a down payment to purchase this land from Jordan and Shandi. The $10,000 goal that I set for this feels lofty, though it would cover only a few months of bills here. If I were to get dreamy, I'd love to envision a $400,000 goal to be able to just buy this place. Every dollar helps and would only be put towards the bills, upkeep, and potential ownership of Deva Haven.

If prompted, I will return here to write more about myself and Deva Haven, but for now, I think this suffices. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I know that so many of us are in uncomfortable financial positions currently, so if you aren't able to donate, then I would deeply appreciate you sharing it with people who could feel inspired to support me and this. I've always generally been a hyper-independent, single and solitary, self-reliant person, but I hope that transparently sharing my circumstances will garner support. Because the continued thriving of Deva Haven isn't just for or about me - it is for every single soul who steps foot on this land.

Should you prefer to donate to me outside of GoFundMe:

▪︎ Venmo: @highvibes

▪︎ CashApp: $crystalchildvibes

▪︎ Zelle: 6192482518