If you worked with me over the past 20 years, you may know asking for help isn't something I am good at for a lot of reasons.

In January 2023, I experienced a medical crisis that still seems so surreal. And now, 3 years later, there are still so many unanswered questions. Over these 36 months, I have spent more than I could afford on appointments, medications, tests, etc. It wasn't until 2025 that I realized I had been medically abused, which added a tremendous layer of challenges on top of what I was trying to navigate.

I returned to short-term disability in October 2024, knowing if I had time to focus on getting answers, then I would know what work I needed to do in order to be who I was before it all. The time I spent finding medical professionals that would look at the full picture and help was immeasurable. Not because they did not want to, but because of the limits of insurance accepted, the costs for specialists, and knowing who to see when I didn't know what was going on myself. It leaves one making upwards of 15 exhaustive calls a day to be told they weren't accepting new patients, neurocognitive testing wait-lists were more than a year out, wouldn't accept my insurance provider, etc.

If you know me, you know handling 30 tasks in a day across whatever topics - well, that was relatively easy for me. 6 projects in flight, leading a team of incredibly skilled professionals, throwing a birthday party, taking care of my family, managing a household, making 15 dozen cupcakes for a fundraiser, and planning the next dinner club - it was challenging and fulfilling.

But, I was losing words. Strategic thinking was no longer something I did without thinking - it was all so complex to my mind. The harder I tried, the worse it got. Throughout life, if I was in a rock and a hard space - I just dug deeper, pushed harder, and ran at the obstacle or goal. While my tenacity and optimism were pushing me as they usually did, it was not working. And, when something that was such a part of why you are who you are is seemingly gone - it is a fear I wouldn't wish on a soul.

And, when I could no longer hold conversations with some of the most amazing minds, leaders, mentors, peers, and friends how I could before? Without knowing it, I just got quiet. I didn't want to share that I was diagnosed with MCI. I couldn't get myself to say that the work I am doing to help my progress is elementary math, adolescent memory games, and trying to read adolescent stories. I loved reading - and I tried reading my favorite books more than I could ever care to admit. I loved cooking - no recipe or a recipe as a very loose guide. Often, after I stepped away from work, I was in the kitchen. It was therapy for me. All creativity seemed gone. I tried, but many attempted meals were huge misses and seemed to take every ounce of capacity from me. I couldn't follow a recipe no matter how slow I went, and with notes reminding me to check each step twice, at least.

But, I knew if I kept throwing everything at it I could, trying everything suggested, trying every vitamin and supplement under the sun - I would break through and get back to my career and living a fulfilling life like before. Yes, I was told that the brain can take years to heal. Yes, I was told there was no way to know if it would improve. But, my life was lined with folks telling me the odds, what couldn't be done, and what I couldn't do - and I always forged a way.

But, it turns out the stress of it all took a tremendous toll on my body. Almost overnight, I had severe hypertension, arrhythmia, and I had been in tachycardia for such a long time that I began to think it may just be normal. No, none of it was. So, beta-blockers and blood pressure medications began, were increased, and remain required.

While I did not execute 100% in life before all this, it was nowhere near what it is now.

But, at the beginning of 2025, something else happened. And, while I cannot share much, and it is her story as well as her sister's - but it required that she be protected, have an attorney to represent her best interests, and I have an attorney. It required therapy and counseling.

So, during the year, as I was faced with protecting my child and needing to focus solely on my medical journey and recovery - I threw every dollar and bit of my soul at both, knowing one was far more pressing at that time than the other.

In April 2025, I moved to long-term disability. From October until February, I received 0% pay because my claim was denied since I did not have a diagnosis. I chased Hartford, physicians, and even escalated to my leader. The earliest neurocognitive exam I could get was December 2024 - I was on wait lists and cancellation lists where possible too. And that was the required piece. When I received the results and diagnosis in January, I sent it along. I had to appeal, but Elisha who can compile all supporting documents and provide a clear timeline in a day or less? That wasn't me - so I spent days and days trying to pull it together. It was 43 pages. And, required escalation on both sides of my employer and Hartford. It was approved, and I received my back pay.

I was able to catch up on bills, retain an attorney, retain an attorney (GAL) for my child, and get back to scheduling my appointments, procedures, MRIs, etc. I enrolled in LTD plans providing an additional 20% of your income and 100% of your bonus in March. So, I budgeted to receive 60% of my income and 100% of my bonus. In July, I was finally informed that after researching it for weeks and pointing me to different places to call - that would not be applied since I applied after I went on leave in October. They said, come back to work for one day, then go on leave and it would apply for future LTD cases.

So, realizing my budget wouldn't get me far enough - the last piece I had was the equity in my home. So, I risked every bit of my credit available to get the house ready, knowing that would take care of us for a while, so I could continue paying for the legal fees to get us to court in February and July of this year. The sale of my home would allow me to throw a lot at my health and I aligned with my incredible providers that 2026 - we are going to throw everything at it so I can get back to working, whatever that may have to look like. I have worked since I was 11 years old. While I have always loved a vacation from it too, I believed I was never meant not to work.

I emptied and maxed out every financial lever I have. I receive no child support, covering all expenses and have to provide medical and dental insurance for our child, even though I now make substantially less than their father, since I receive 40% of my income. And, child support will not be addressed until a July hearing, at the earliest. I sold everything to my name to throw at this. My income does not cover my mortgage, car payment, insurance premiums, utilities, gas, and groceries. So, I am scrambling to choose which is most critical for us now, but they are all critical.

While we have cell phones and Wi-Fi, I canceled all streaming services and expenses that are not required. We are doing all we can to sell my home during economic uncertainty and when a lot of folks are struggling themselves.

There have been a couple of times a GoFundMe was suggested, but I couldn't stomach it. There are others hurting more than this. If I had made a few different decisions in hindsight, I wouldn't need to ask for charity. But, when it comes down to taking care of my daughter - I cannot not try the last option I have for right now. Pride, ego, and shame aside - I need help.

I always knew the sacrifices I had to make to focus on building a career and financial security would pay off. And, when I found that balance, I always remembered where I came from, and that life can humble you in a single instance. I tried to be generous where I could, when I could.

If you are able to help in the slightest, I will be forever grateful. And, once I get through this and am back on my feet - I will spend the rest of my days paying it back or forward in any way possible - I swear to you.

Humbly Grateful,

Elisha