So many women around the world struggle with infertility and the effects that come with not being able to conceive. Unfortunately, I was one of those women. But instead of feeling less than a woman as a lot of women feel when they are unable to conceive, my feelings however were a little bit more complicated than that. You see, there was never any doubt in my mind that I was going to get pregnant one day. The Lord promised me a long time ago that my desire to be with child would be fulfilled in due time. I just had to be patient. But even in knowing all this, I still struggled at times. I struggled with the when!

When will I see the Lords promises?!?! But after countless numbers of when I decided to give my when to God and thank God I did because Elena Shanice Lowden was born May 30, 2024.

Much to my surprise not only was she the cutest baby in the hospital (in my opinion) but unfortunately it was as if she was the only newborn in the hospital with the most health issues. And to be honest, I was not prepared. I assumed after 10yrs of waiting for my promise baby, the lord would grant me a baby with zero health problems. So, while I was pregnant instead of praying for a healthy baby, I took it upon myself and prayed for a pretty baby with good hair. I know that was extremely superficial but that's where my mind was at the time. But instead of looking back in regret, I choose to look at what's in front of me. And what's in front of me is beautiful baby that's extremely sick. Every time we go to the doctor it seems like another health issue pops up. And to be honest with the health issues she is dealing with, most mothers would be on the brink of having a nervous breakdown. I myself however chose to take a different route.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely have moments when I am down. Usually, my down moments are full of sorrow and complete and utter anguish that the child I carried for 9 months is not home with me and my husband thriving. Instead, she's been in a hospital bed for over 30 days fighting for her life. But those moments of sorrow and anguish are only small moments of the day. Most of my day is filled with hopefulness and a peace that passes all understanding. But let's make one thing clear, my hope and peace don't come from the doctors, nor does it come from deep within myself. My assurance and tranquility come from God. So, when there are those small moments of mourning, I mourn in the Lord which means that even in the mist of great sadness, I am still actively seeking the Lord for strength and actively seeking what the Lord is saying concerning my child. In my seeking, He assures me that she's already healed and the chains of bondage are broken, and I just have to be patient.

So, as I sit in waiting and in full expectancy for the Lord to move in my daughter's life, I am also in waiting for the Lord to provide for my family financially. From the first moments of her life till now it's been full of doctor visits and renting cars, so we are able to travel back and forth to Augusta for her surgeries. Once again, I was not prepared for this at all.

Being put in this situation, the bills have racked up astronomically and the struggle has definitely been real!! So, I'm not asking for you just to donate but I'm also asking you to share this post and pray that the lord gives my family strength during this time.

Any donation amount would be well appreciated but if you can't donate then post or tell a friend but if you are unable to do that as well than please pray!

Thanks for taking the time to read my post (i know it was long) lol!