Hello, my name is Desarae Petersen. I am raising money for my mother for funeral expenses and bills that have accrued.

My family has been through one of the hardest months of our lives. We lost our amazing Grandmother Wilma Louise Abbott on Saturday the 31st to natural causes but unexpectedly.

She was only visiting Ohio for Christmas so my mom could have help with grandma’s care while she got her own cancer removed. Sadly, my grandma unexpectedly passed away in our home, surrounded by family, peacefully on January 31st.

I am asking for support because my mother and I were already in financial peril because we had only been anticipating a short time for her cancer surgery for me to be off from work to care for my grandma. We were only supposed to be a couple of days, but it was extended due to multiple unforeseen emergency situations spread over a month period. I have been managing my best, but I am fully out of steam and drowning, overwhelmed as it was, and now we are heartbroken and gutted.

Initially, we had planned that I was going to drive from Ohio down to their home in Missouri to care for my grandma in their home while my mom got her surgery. Then I was going to come back home to make sure I could still work. A quick turnaround. Unfortunately, my car fell off of its frame 2 days after Christmas, right after I had paid to have the front end replaced. The second they pulled it out of the shop, it fell, and I no longer had a way to make it down there.

Instead, my mom decided to bring grandma to Ohio to visit and spend Christmas together. Then she was going to go down, do her surgery, and come back to pick her up after.

This way, she was with people she knew and was comfortable in a familiar place to make it as painless as possible because of her dementia and anxiety. Despite attempts to find another plan with friends and family both in and out of state, we could not find anyone in Missouri who was able to take a couple of hours out to be with her to help. Other family members out of state had other responsibilities that prevented them from finding the time to step in.

The trip back to Missouri for mom ended up extended due to a brown recluse bite causing her to become pre-septic, and her doctors rescheduled her surgery for 10 days later than the anticipated date of 1/14/26.

This caused more financial strain for all of us because I then had to take a personal leave of absence (unpaid) to be with my grandmother while my mom got her medical treatment done. On 1/23/26, she finally got the surgery, and it was directly before we were experiencing the bad storms across the country, so traveling was too dangerous, and that extended the time off for both of us even longer. She finally made it back to Ohio on 1/30/26, and Grandma was elated and being her normal self, happy to be with her daughter again.

Sadly, we never imagined we’d be saying our last goodbyes to the matriarch of our family, the sarcastic, funny, and most cantankerous old woman you’d ever meet on this trip, let alone 24 hours later as she was fine one minute and fading quickly the next.

This has put us all in a difficult position because none of her after-death plans had factored being in Ohio. We were already both financially hanging on by the seat of our pants because of this past month's events, health issues, and crises we had been managing while gritting our teeth.

Grandma ‘Rabbit’ (Abbott) was our spunky, feisty, silly goose and heartbeat, and we are ALL devastated.

We were preparing for it mentally to a point as she had terminal lung cancer and was 86 years old. But no one is ever fully emotionally prepared to lose the rock that has held you up your whole life as both my mother and my late grandmother have always done.

On a happier note, and most importantly to me considering, I’m so grateful that she got to spend a Christmas and New Year's with her great-grandchildren and us all loving on her and spoiling her. My mom didn’t face losing her mother alone and didn’t have to put off her cancer treatment any further. I am so glad that I was able to spend the last month of her long and beautiful life seeing her smile every single morning, helping her, caring for her, playing with her, braiding her hair, laughing, and singing together.

I enjoyed hearing about her life, even if it was stories that she made up at points about Beavis and Butthead or real events. I enjoyed it all.

Also, my favorite was hearing her yell at me, ‘DESARAE!! Front and center!’ for the first time since I was a little kid, pulled straight out of my subconscious, and I will treasure that.

Or the way I thought she was asleep at like 3 am on the 25th, and I put her favorite Snow Patrol song ‘Chasing Cars’ on the TV and looked over because I heard her singing the chorus perfectly word for word loud, even though she has lung cancer and COPD and had her nebulizer going and was out of breath, and she meant every word.

*If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world. Forget what we’re told, before we get too old. Show me a garden that’s bursting into life.* - Snow Patrol

And that is what we did.

Very long story shortish: Not only do we not have the means right now to cover the funeral expenses alone, to make her last wishes complete, but our personal bills have been mounting trying to get this accomplished. Mostly, the cremation itself is going to be $1202.45. This does not cover living expenses that are behind for my mother and travel expenses we’ve both had to pull from bills for her to make it back and forth, and food, gas, etc.

Gran had other plans, and she passed away holding my mom and my hands Saturday afternoon and went peacefully to the Lord.

She had terminal lung cancer and was on hospice care since last May, given 4 months to live then. Since then, she’s adventured to the Great Lakes and seen Lake Erie for the first time, met all of her great-grandkids for the first time, went on car rides across the country, and lived peacefully on 8 acres in the prairies of the Ozarks where she was loved and cared for beyond measure.

She got her final wishes as far as her last moments being with family at home naturally and not in a sterile facility.

We are now working out the details of her last wishes to be cremated and spread at home and the two other locations she requested.

That being said, I am honored and thankful for my grandmother’s trust and acceptance during her time here from me, Matt, and my dad while my mom got her procedure. This unexpected time together was truly invaluable and a gift from God.

SIDE NOTE: I am proud of my unshakable mother for taking her on 100% without question and never faltering and caring for her better than any person or facility ever could.

I would like to raise some funds to ease some of her financial and mental burden and allow her time to recover from her own health procedures and allow herself the relief she needs while she grieves the immense loss of her beautiful mother.

If you cannot help, prayers and shares are greatly appreciated.

**alternatively donations can also be made directly to the funeral home.

Andras crematory and funeral home

3900 Broadway Lorain oh **