Hi, I'm Tyler and every day I'm trying to keep my mother in a battle with her own mind and memory. Please take a moment to read her journey and support if you can.

You all likely know that my grandmother, "Gaga" suffered at the end of her life from Alzheimer's disease. Mom has been afraid of her fate for many years as she began to experience forgetfulness. She has made jokes, and left post-its for herself- but ultimately, in hindsight, over the past few years, she has in fact developed Alzheimer's herself. Many of us begged to go to the doctor's appointments with her and she refused time and time again. After a while, she just quit going at all. She has been able to mask the severity of her deficits from all of us by living an ultra-controlled life with intense routine and limited outside interaction. She had begun to experience paranoia, which she initially would joke about but then, sadly became very real and scary for her.

In September 2021, my mother was no longer capable of camouflaging the decline of her mental health. After several months in facilities, trying to find support and answers for her, my mother was diagnosed with severe Alzheimer’s with psychosis. The psychosis was going on for so long before anyone really noticed that it has been difficult to control. She became trapped in a world out of touch with reality and the doctors were having a hard time calming her mind. She had become angry, sad, scared and confused. She is present in her own reality and forgets interactions within moments.

On December 2nd of that year, on my mother’s birthday of all days, I was left with no choice but to move her into a memory care facility in Asheville, NC.

Her Alzheimer’s will continue to progress, deteriorating my mother’s cognitive abilities and inhibiting her independence further. Each clinician that has interacted with Mom has been very clear that she is not safe to live independently and will require a secured facility for her safety. There is no measuring stick for this progression and we will take each day as it comes.

I hate the thought of my bright "larger than life" witty, beautiful, caring mother not being in control of her world, not being able to experience joy because her mind is in a stressful state of fear and persecution. The only thing I, that is to say we, can do now is ensure that she receives the appropriate care for the foreseeable future.

My mother would be mortified if she knew I was ever asking for financial support. We’re talking about the woman that would give you the shirt off her back, a ride to anywhere at the drop of a hat, the unrivaled “soccer mom” and quintessential host. But sadly, her cost of care is a financial obligation that I am no longer able to manage any longer without support. The little money she did have from the sale of her home and possessions is running out and will not sustain her. Her cost of care is at least $6,000 each month. Believe me, we exhausted all options across the Carolinas in an effort to find her a safe but affordable facility. In the end, her facility is the only place in the Carolinas with the level of care necessary for her condition and that would accept her. I owe it to my mother to keep her under the care she is in for as long as possible.

If you are able, please consider contributing towards my mother’s care. The Debe that we all know and love needs our support.

With my deepest appreciation,

Tyler

P.S. If you wish to call, visit, or write to my mother please reach out to me directly for information. I know it would bring her a moment of joy and happiness.