David Really Boned Himself This Time

While playing in a Not Very Important game of recreational softball - stone-cold sober of all things - our friend David (Dave if you're an O.G.) managed to fracture 3 bones in his mid-foot sliding into home plate.

What has appeared since then to be bravery and grit in the face of pain and adversity, is in reality simple stubbornness [this part has not been confirmed by doctors].

David's current living situation has been essentially impossible to maneuver with only one foot, to the point that he's been granted a release from his lease to move to another apartment. This is where you come in - David is physically incapable of moving without your help!

Instead of asking for your precious time or risking your own insurmountable injury, he's pleading for financial assistance to pay professionals to move him. Look at it this way - do you really want to lose 4 hours of your Saturday carrying some shmuck's furniture, and then 2 more hours Sunday in an epsom salt bath recovering? Or do you want to give your pal 40 bucks and never, ever let him forget you helped him out that one time?

Anything you can give helps. And if you're as stubborn as David and still want to help in other ways (or financial support is not feasible for you at this time), you can offer to help him pack, unpack, or clean - he will literally never ask first.

Thank you for helping my friend - our friend - in his time of need.