Look, Dave probably needs therapy. But therapy is expensive, time-consuming, and let’s be honest, the lady at the 7-Eleven checkout isn’t qualified to listen to his trauma. We all screw up. Some people buy a timeshare in Florida. Some get a tribal tramp stamp in the ‘90s. Dave? He went bigger. He permanently tattooed a bad decision on his body.

Dave has leveled up his life. New wife, the best family, stability… But his tattoo? It’s still stuck in 2008, screaming “I ruin lives” tattooed in that fancy cursive font you only ever see on a gas station wedding invitation. This thing is holding him back like ankle weights in a marathon. Every time he sees it, it’s like the universe yelling: “Remember when you had terrible taste?!” Tattoos are expensive, especially when you’re trying to cover a mistake the size of his alimony checks with the resilience of herpes.

We’re raising funds to finally free Dave from this billboard of bad decisions.

How You Can Help

    •    Donate a few bucks

Share with your friends and

    •    Drop your best tattoo ideas in the comments.

Let’s help Dave turn his leg from a permanent mistake into a permanent reminder of how far he’s come and how proud his family and friends are of the man he is today. We’re all rooting for him, and what better birthday gift than freedom from bad ink? Happy Birthday, Dave!