Support Dave’s Recovery in Korea

On what was meant to be a special family trip to Osaka and Seoul, our lives changed in an instant. On our first morning in Seoul, Dave suffered a sudden brain hemorrhage and is now in a medically-induced coma. We are far from home, navigating the Korean healthcare system, and facing overwhelming upfront costs as non-citizens. When I told my mom and Dave’s parents what happened, my brother Paul put them on the next flight over and by Tuesday morning they were here with me.

Our family and close family friends quickly became our care village and we are doing our best to support Dave and each other. Lincoln was excited to come to Seoul to attend fencing summer camp and he refused to go the first two days. He loves Pokemon cards, but wants to open the packs he got in Japan with his dad. Nic turns 9 months today. We had plans to take cute photos to commemorate as a family. Now we have to do this without Dave. We want Nic's first word to be “bố,” which is father in Vietnamese. He's almost there, blowing raspberries. My cousin brought over some toys and now he’s settling into our new routine. He greets everyone with morning giggles but by night, he must sense something is very wrong because he’s been fussier than usual, even with so many doting people by his side. Two hours before the bleed, Dave had just fed and put Nic to sleep. Dave was also the first to hold Nic while I was still in the OR.

The financial strain is immense. We have to pay for all medical care upfront even if we may get some of it reimbursed by our health insurance, including a large deposit just to keep Dave in the ICU, as well as the costs for his surgeries and ongoing treatment. The medical bills are already at $45,000 after one week, and each day, that number accumulates. The long term recovery plan will not be covered by our insurance as it will likely not be considered an emergency. Housing for six people, childcare, and schooling for Lincoln in a Korean school system (our options may be limited to international schools and those that would accept foreign students - another massive financial hurdle). These are all costs we have to think about as we prepare for a possible 6-plus month stay in Korea as Dave recovers and faces additional surgeries. We are looking into longer-term rentals now. We have to navigate the Korean rental system, which requires large deposits, also upfront, some in the tens of thousands of dollars.

Every day brings new challenges, but also reminders of how much Dave means to us. He is the pillar, the rock, the glue of our family. He does everything with so much honor and with a sense of pride and responsibility, keeping the house maintained, running the logistics of our sons' school and activities. I keep finding things that remind me of what he does for our family that he never complains about or asks to be recognized for. Every loose end is tackled before it becomes loose. One of my nicknames for him is Mr. Seamless.

He is modest. Private. He'd probably be so mad that I'm making a gofundme, but you know what? He sometimes needs to know how much people love him. Dave's always given so much to others and it's time for people to take care of him.

All of his work colleagues confirmed my suspicion that he's just as indispensable, dependable at work as he is at home. The guy who follows through and executes what he wants in a timely manner. He's not the big idea guy who spitballs and runs away when the real work happens. Dave is the real deal. The reviews for the Asian American Film class he teaches are so positive. His students love him. The faculty and staff love him. I want him to return to his various jobs - jobs he’s tailored to fit our lifestyle, jobs he’s brought honor to, jobs he’s elevated to a new standard.

We're deeply grateful for the love and support from friends, family, and even strangers. Your prayers, messages, and generosity are helping us stay strong for Dave as he fights to recover. We hope to bring him home and back to the life he loves. Thank you for standing with us during this unimaginable time.