Support Cole Burford in Healing L4-L5 Disc Herniations

Hey friends, family, community, and kind strangers. It is with a heavy heart, some uncertainty of the future, and a lot of hope and humility that I write this.

TLDR: I have multiple disc herniations, vertebrogenic pain syndrome, and disc dessication (pre-DDD) that have forced me out of work and have a long and expensive road to recovery ahead, without insurance coverage.

The Full Story

On April 26, I had a sneeze that changed my life. I immediately fell to the floor and felt severe pain in my spine, back, hips and legs. I couldn't get comfortable in any position, leaning forward or back, walking, sitting, standing, laying down - everything kept the pain alarms at a 9 or 9.5 out of 10. I reluctantly took some ibuprofen and did my best to sleep. The next three days were excruciating and more of the same - little comfort, little sleep. I canceled all of my clients in hopes that a few days of rest would help the pain subside and I would be back to normal. Preceding all of this, I have had some history of back pain and discomfort, but nothing that had ever been diagnosed or seemed to qualify as chronic or severe (I chalked it up to normal aches and pains due to my physical lifestyle and work.)

Over the following two weeks, I carried on and did my best to return to normal life, working as a massage therapist and fulfilling my normal obligations. I was in varying levels of semi-constant pain, from moderate to severe, regularly wearing a back brace, seeing a Chiropractor, Physical Therapist, Acupuncturist, and Massage Therapist, and avoiding pain medication as much as possible. I had yet to realize the severity of my condition. I was able to manage decently, though the pain was always worst at night and while lying down. Sleep was fickle.

For the next two weeks, I was able to go on vacation, where I rested as much as possible, took care of how I was using my body, and completed physical therapy exercises to the best of my ability. The pain was still there, but slightly less constant and severe, 7-8/10. After my trip, I immediately jumped back into a full schedule of clients and my back pain skyrocketed to the worst pain and spasm I had ever experienced. I was forced to again cancel my clients for the next few days, had an MRI ordered by my Chiropractor, and was prescribed a muscle relaxer to manage the spasms and pain. I continued all of the other therapies and care routines and managed as best I could. I still had some obligations that I had to tend to, though performing even simple tasks, such as, washing the dishes, folding the laundry, or picking up my cat off the ground were well beyond the limit of performable activities.

Unfortunately, after working an event towards the end of June, my back spasm flared up again to its worst point. I was laying in bed unable to roll over to grab a tissue to blow my nose. My spine literally felt like it was gonna rip itself in half and the pain was unimaginable and nearly forced me to the ER. Pain was an 11 out of 10, and I don't write that lightly. Fortunately, the ibuprofen and medication was able to provide some relief and over the next few days the spasm began to subside a bit. I had to cancel more clients and all scheduled business events because it was clear my condition was serious and my body needed all of my attention, energy, and time to rest.

I was able to get an MRI on June 26. Another week or so later, I saw a couple of clients and again my back went into spasm. After that, I completely cleared my calendar for the following two weeks to rest and rehab.

The MRI revealed a few problems - some expected, some not. All with relation to the pain and discomfort in my spine. I was diagnosed with 2 bulging discs in my lumbar spine, L3 and L4, affecting the nerve roots of L4 and L5; endplate reactive change and disc degeneration of L4 (some loss of disc height, dehydrated/inflamed); transitional anatomy with partial sacralization (when my spine was forming in the embryo, my L5 vertebra fused to my sacrum on one side, resulting in a "rudimentary" or under-developed L5 disc, restriction of movement and more compressive and torsional forces on the discs and spine above and below).

All that to say, my back still hurts and that infamous sneeze was the straw that broke the camel's back (or rather, my back). Based on the transitional anatomy, this was possible to happen at some point in my life. Especially given that up to this point, I have certainly lived life to the fullest and pushed my body to some extremes! From skiing for 24 years, snowboarding, mountain biking, climbing, hiking and backpacking, running, dancing, yoga, and plenty of other activities that have defined periods and parts of me, my body has given me a lot and I have asked a lot from it as well. Beyond the physical manifestation of pain, my globetrotting lifestyle and the passing of my dad a few years has left me with some bouts of stress over the years, and I know there is emotional healing connected to this as well. Recently, I was actualizing the dream of running my own massage & bodywork practice, Peace Through Presence, and my books were thriving. I have also become an active member of a Capoeira Angola group, Capoeira Flagstaff, over the past year. These two passions in my life have brought a lot of joy, growth, and purpose, but have been put mostly on hold for now. I’m figuring out how to adapt with them, as I have had to cease pretty much all activity beyond walking and some light stretching and mobility for now. Yet, still I am grateful to stand on two feet. And hopeful that my body can and will heal (on its own, without invasive interventions) and I will have relationships with all of these things again. Obviously, without movement and activity as physical and mental tools, it's been a tough and scary few months, with a lot of deep valleys and steep, short peaks. I have been going all in on anti-inflammatory supplements and tinctures (shoutout Winter Sun for the medicine), cutting out alcohol and other foods that can cause inflammation, added Craniosacral and Float Therapy into my care routine, and am using a TENS unit. I will get better!

Through all of this, Kim has been strong and steadfast. She has been my caretaker, my chauffeur, my counsel and encouragement, cooked, cleaned, and picked up. Also while still working and taking on extra shifts to support us during this time.

Last Friday (8/2), I went to Flagstaff Bone and Joint to meet with an orthopedic Physician's Assistant (PA) to discuss other treatment options and exhaust all possibilities. Her diagnosis was a new one, Vertebrogenic Pain Syndrome, and the prognosis wasn't terrible or great, with limited options for treatment. They ordered 2 more months of Physical Therapy and then a reassessment. After that, the only treatment offered here they think has a chance to help me is a nerve ablation, which has varying results. The bright side is that since taking a break from massage, my pain has been a bit less severe and constant over the past couple of weeks. And the PA was enthusiastic that it was moving in the right direction. I’ve also looked into another option, PRP, but it is not offered locally and my mission is to heal in time with my body.

My income has suffered greatly, I went from a growing private massage therapy practice seeing 15-20 clients a week between my office and another clinic to almost 0. I have seen a few clients irregularly since then. All of this is changing how and how much I will practice bodywork, and it’s cost me a lot of billable hours over the last few months. While I am excited for the learning I am able to do now and the ability to keep shifting into the subtler modalities of Craniosacral and Shiatsu, it's bittersweet and tough to accept. I am searching for other work opportunities that will be less hard on my body for the time being and hopefully have some things falling into place soon (if you have any leads on office work, remote work, etc, let me know!).

On top of the loss of income and nature of my self-employment and contract-based work, I don't have health insurance and have had to pay most of the costs out of pocket. I have been fortunate with support from my community here in Flagstaff (not to mention to homies helping move furniture around) and have received a lot of affordable care from incredible practitioners, but the costs have added up. I am working on getting coverage, but am pretty much at a roadblock until November at best.

I am hopeful. I will heal. I will get better. And I truly believe this, that my body can heal itself if I support it in any way I can. But time is the main component in this. I am prepared to keep going all in and coming back from this stronger than ever before.

So far I've spent $1,800 on various appointments and therapies, and I'm looking at another $1,800 in PT expenses alone. The nerve ablation procedure costs $15-30k without insurance, and still a chunk of change with. This last week, our cat Freud also gave us a scare and we had to take him into the vet a couple of times. He was diagnosed with feline asthma and an upper respiratory infection. He’s getting better, but he’s gonna be on medication for the rest of his life to help his little lungs out. On top of an uptick in instacart orders and takeout meals, getting to appointments all over Northern Arizona, and a fresh round of car troubles… my financial situation is looking grim.

If you can support me in any way, it is so appreciated! Obviously this is a plea for financial assistance, but if you can’t spare cash, you can share this with others who may be able to help, say prayers, send words of encouragement (and your secret magical cure)!

I am also selling shirts from my practice, Peace Through Presence. They're super cool, $35, hand-packed and shipped to your door and available in standard sizes!

And I am still seeing a small number of clients for Craniosacral Therapy at my private office, so if you want to support me there, I’d love to see you for a session!

My back is still day-to-day and I am exploring all the options and treatments available and sorting out my next steps. What is clear is that I need to gain income in a setting that requires less physicality from my body and ideally a place that can offer benefits. I am exploring in what ways I can continue to be around this work, learn about it, and continue doing it in a way that is conducive to helping people and helping me. I'm not sure exactly what that looks like right now, but I know it means I need to heed the signs and halt doing massage and bodywork so my body can rest and heal.

I am moving in the right direction, following all the advice and recommendations, and trusting that my body and mind are stronger and wiser than I know.

Much Love to any and all who read through this, I wish you all the best.

Cole Burford

Venmo is also great (no fees!) @uncleburfdawg