Support Christy in Her Last Days at Home

There is just no easy way of saying this, so I'm just going to come out with it. A lot of you know that my health has been declining noticably for a while now. I've been fighting for my life for years now. Fighting, but not winning. 

I ended up back in the hospital this week. The surgery last month to get my arm ready for dialysis got infected and isn't healing. The swelling in my body has gotten so bad that my skin is breaking in places. My kidneys have totally failed now and some of my other organs are now shutting down as well. If I was to start dialysis now, it would just be prolonging things to keep me around living an excruciatingly painful existence. I will never get better. 

After sitting with my family and the doctors, we've agreed that I don't want to fight anymore. To put it simply, I'm tired. Mentally, physically, spiritually, down to my soul, I'm tired. I'm ready to not be in pain anymore. This is not an easy choice to make and signing the DNR paperwork broke my heart. I've now transitioned to Comfort Care and in the next couple of days I'll be sent home to Hospice Care so I can go quietly at home in my own bed. 

To say that I'm sad doesn't begin to explain my feelings. I'm devastated. I won't be there for my daughter. I won't be there to keep her safe, or when she one day gets married, or if she decides to be a mom. I won't be there! My husband won't get to grow old with his wife either. These feelings are sadness, anger, scaredness, hopelessness, and devastation. 

I have been able to put a little money aside into savings to pay for my cremation, but it's not enough to pay for my final expenses. If you feel so inclined to help, may I please ask for your assistance? My funeral will be in a matter of weeks, not months. It would give me peace of mind to know that my family and I won't be burdened with this while trying to say goodbye. 

I hope that you will have fond memories of me, that I made you smile, that I was kind to you.

Love your family, read the bedtime story, try that recipe you always wanted to taste, never stop learning, take your medications, take that vacation, say the words in your heart, be brave, squash the drama, and try your best to leave the world a better place than it was when you got here.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, for donating if you can, and for having been my friends.

With my whole heart,

Christy