Today is my birthday, something I never really celebrated before in life.

To me it was "just another day."

But today, I am feeling emotional, hopeful, and even a little victorious (as well as the usual: stressed and scared).

This birthday I actually had to FIGHT to get to. It feels earned differently somehow. It took more than all the others where I merely existed, and it arrived anyway.

Figuring out where to begin is almost as impossible as trying to describe how I feel today. Most of you who know me, know what the picture of the socks represents in the cover is from. For those who don't, the socks were part of my "pick me up," during chemotherapy.

It seems surreal that one year ago tomorrow began the really "difficult" part of my breast cancer journey. A year ago, I was asking for help to fly my mother out here to help me after a double mastectomy... that at the last minute turned into a single and was completed on August 1st. Then testing revealed Stage III breast cancer. And then came 2 types of chemotherapy (including the "red devil"). And 16 rounds of radiation. I've had a chemotherapy port placed, removed, abscessed twice and finally healed. And another mastectomy that should have been done with the first.

It has been a long year, and without the support of you, my loved ones, friends and family... I know it would have been nearly impossible to endure.

I have grown and gone through so much. Faced my own mortality more than a time or two over the last year. And learned so much about myself, love, and life.

Of course, if everything was roses and sunshine, I wouldn't be writing this in a gofundme post, would I? I have also been out of work and trying to manage living on my work's disability pay and things are more than a little tight right now. I spoke with a friend who asked if they could help, discussed starting a GoFundMe, and honestly my response was, "My pride could never."

Now, because they are a good friend, they pointed out that learning to let go of ego is something we all need to come to terms with, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but one of strength.

So here I am, one year down in the cancer battle, still pushing forward to try and get back to work, but asking for help to pay bills and cover the costs that cancer has brought into my life. I've been fortunate enough to utilize some forbearance policies with some bills, but not all, and it seems like food, electric and all the other bills just keep going up but my funds stay the same.

So maybe instead of a birthday card, this year you could put a donation into my account here and whether it goes to a bill, dog food, or a birthday cake, please know that you have my utmost and complete gratitude.

Thank you for your time. ♥