Hello, kind readers. Before you begin, I would like to thank you upfront for any donations or shares to my fundraiser. There is no way for me to properly articulate how much it means to me - any amount, any shares, any word-of-mouth, etc. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time out of your valuable day to learn about my fundraiser and myself. With your kind generosity, I will be able to achieve peace of mind which will hugely impact the rate at which I can recover from this traumatic experience.

I will start with a brief introduction, the reason for my fundraiser with a breakdown of finances and expenses, and finish with some relevant medical history and additional information on my condition (this is included at the end for those who may not wish to read a short novel about my medical history and life, and would prefer to cut to the chase - I am okay with whichever choice you make).

I would also like to preface that this may be hard to read for some (triggering). Still, GoFundMe has advised me that honesty is the best policy and not to leave anything out, so I will insert the following CW/TW to allow readers the choice to skip reading to avoid unnecessary upset (if you choose to stop reading, please still consider sharing my fundraiser):

INTRODUCTION:

For those of who you do not know me, my name is Chloë and I am 30 years old (although most days I feel much older). I have a fairly rare and dangerous congenital heart defect called Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome (WPW) which causes many unpleasant and oftentimes debilitating symptoms such as a fast heartbeat, palpitations/fluttering of the heart, shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness/lightheadedness, fatigue, fainting, and anxiety. In some cases, especially in young adults, cardiac arrest/sudden cardiac death can occur unexpectedly, even if they were previously feeling fine, asymptomatic, or have a more "mild" case of WPW (if you are interested in learning more about WPW, I have included more detailed information about the syndrome below after my personal story in hopes to raise more awareness about this fairly unknown and oftentimes undetectable defect).

MY CURRENT SITUATION:

On my 30th birthday, November 29th, 2023, I was sitting in class for a mid-term review when suddenly, I felt very off. I decided to check my Apple Watch and to my shock and horror, my heart rate was 170BPM (again, I was just sitting in class, I had been sitting there for a while, etc.). Slowly, I got up and exited the classroom. Incredibly dizzy, I left the building and started making my way behind a group of students toward the building which houses the security office at my university (I probably should have told someone, but my anxiety-riddled brain was more concerned about embarrassing myself rather than telling someone I needed help).

I safely made it to the security office and alerted the (wonderful) staff working that I have WPW and was having a serious episode. They quickly got me sitting in a chair in their office, and I told them as much information as I could as my heart was holding steady at 170BPM. I made them aware I might faint, may go into cardiac arrest, and to make sure CPR was started immediately if I lost consciousness, all while hunched over, almost falling out of my chair... what a birthday! Very quickly, the wonderful Thunder Bay EMS team showed up, but unfortunately, before we left, my dad (who works at LU) witnessed me getting ushered into the ambulance which was very difficult for him. I received excellent care at TBRHSC and was later discharged.

Fast forward, I was officially off work by December 10th, 2023 due to reoccurring WPW episodes, which triggered my Panic Disorder to come back. As such, I have been stuck in a vicious cycle: if I have a WPW episode, I have a panic attack, and if I have a panic attack out of fear of having another WPW episode, I end up having one due to the stress. Since November 29th, 2023, I have been in and out of the ER around a dozen times, and have had EMS visit my home about the same amount.

After a 3-week Holter monitor, it was determined by my medical team in Thunder Bay and Toronto that I would need to go back to Toronto for a second attempt at a cardiac ablation, which comes with high risks given my specific case. I will likely end up with a pacemaker, which will be a new adjustment and scary experience all in itself.

There are no words to describe how intense the fear was and has been. When people think of the "worst" mental illnesses, I feel most do not consider Panic Disorder/Anxiety. However, the yelling out for help, yelling my last wishes out and CPR instructions "just in case" and "saying goodbye" in case I don't make it before EMS arrives; uncontrollable crying, screaming, involuntary body movements, and the rest of the symptoms that come from panic attacks and/or the WPW, have left me wishing to die and experience intense suicidal ideation for months, despite death being my biggest fear, only so I can not be in such a level of debilitating fear every waking minute of my days. I honestly do not know how I am still here to write this. I am currently on 3 different medications for my mental health and am on a waitlist to get counselling, but utilize as many free services as I can in the meantime, such as Crisis Response and Kids Help Phone, which luckily is for all ages.

My mom had to temporarily move in to try and help me feel safe and calm, but a lot of the time it did not help. All of this has been a beyond stressful and trying time for my family as a whole, and I hate that everyone has been affected by my physical and mental illnesses to the degree they have been. It breaks my heart to see my family suffer because of me.

WHY I AM FUNDRAISING/DEBT & FINANCIAL EXPENSES/FINANCIAL AID:

After months of debating, being ashamed, and embarrassed, I have decided to swallow my pride and ask for help. I have come to terms with the fact that thousands of people ask for financial relief each day for many reasons, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Conversely, I realize that many people are struggling financially themselves and it feels very selfish to ask others for their money.

However, I have arrived at a place of desperation to alleviate the intolerable stress I have due to being off work sick since December 10th, 2023 (which is dangerous to my health more than the average healthy person due to my heart condition), and to help cover the high cost of my upcoming medical trip to Toronto.

As a part-time employee at my job, I do not get paid sick days, paid time off, vacation days, etc., that I could have used to help with the financial burden of being off sick for nearly half a year.

For my upcoming medical trip to Toronto, this is a breakdown of the expenses:

TOTAL ESTIMATED COST: $3,090.13-$3,810.13 CAD.

The only additional financial aid I will receive to put towards this medical trip will come from the Northern Health Travel Grant, which will be reimbursed 4-6 weeks after I submit my forms once I return home from Toronto. The NHTG is broken down as written below:

The cost of reimbursement for the drive to Toronto should be $1,100.85 CAD based on the above guidelines, and the cost of reimbursement for accommodations for the trip is estimated to be $500 CAD, but this amount will just be used towards debts owed as outlined.

I have received the following financial help/exhausted the following avenues:

My estimated total amount of debt accumulated/money owed back from being off work from December 10th, 2023 until today, April 20th, 2024, is currently around $6,000CAD. This number will continue to grow while I remain off sick recovering from my medical procedures and does not include previous debts I have accumulated before my illness. If everything goes well, I estimate I will be able to go back to work early to mid-June 2024 (it is mandatory for me to be off work and have minimal movement for 4 weeks post-procedure), but everything I earn won't feel like earnings due to the amount of money I owe.

With healing from my health issues, and school beginning again in September, it will be a long, difficult road back to financial stability (I predict I will not be on my feet again until early 2025 when all is said and done). It makes it that much harder knowing I will have so much to pay back while earning a part-time wage due to school, having to pay my bills at the same time, as well as dealing with growing amounts of money owed. Kind of like a 1 step forward, 10 steps back type of thing (and that is assuming nothing else pops up that requires immediate financial attention).

Thank you again for your time and consideration. It genuinely means the world to me and my family. If you wish, you may continue reading below about my medical history and my heart condition.

Love and best wishes to everyone - take care of yourselves, please.

- Chloë ♡

A HISTORY:

Relevant to the story, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder at the age of 8, and Depression around my mid-teens. Off and on throughout my teens and early 20s, I experienced countless intense panic attacks and bouts of anxiety that would leave me fearful for my life, as well as severe episodes of depression rendering me unable to attend school or work, causing serious mental turmoil. I was convinced with every fibre in my being that there was something wrong with my heart. Still, despite my family physician ordering me multiple electrocardiograms (EKGs) over the years to either confirm or disprove my fears, the EKGs always came up clean (which can sometimes happen with people who have WPW), so I was left feeling crazy and defeated and remained medicated for my mental illnesses for years to come.

Years of suffering later, I found out by fluke that I had WPW in January 2019 during a visit to the ER. A routine EKG was done on me and finally, there was an abnormality on my EKG (the WPW). I remember that day like it was yesterday - the nurse ripped open my curtain and demanded to know why I didn't make him aware I had this dangerous condition. I laughed and told him he had the wrong patient until he went and grabbed my EKG printout and explained the findings. My fears I had for over a decade that there was something wrong with me were finally confirmed - I was both terrified but felt peace knowing I wasn't crazy after all, and of course, I was excited to jokingly give some people a good "I told you so".

After my diagnosis in 2019, I went on being "asymptomatic" for a few more years. I say "asymptomatic", because it turns out I was symptomatic of WPW all along. As it turns out, WPW and Panic Disorder mirror each other as far as symptoms go (minus the cardiac arrest). So while there is no doubt in my mind I did suffer from panic attacks and anxiety due to other traumas in my life, there is no telling how many panic attacks I had pre-diagnosis that were WPW episodes, being treated and dealt with as panic attacks. As I mentioned above, a symptom of WPW is anxiety, and when I have a panic attack it usually triggers a WPW episode, and when I have a WPW episode, it triggers a panic attack - severely exacerbating my symptoms, making it impossible most times to calm down. It is a very horrifying and debilitating cycle having to deal with both at the same time, especially when my biggest fear is dying.

By the summer of 2020, I began to have some serious problems. I would be laying in bed or sitting on the couch (basically not doing anything strenuous or physical) and my heart rate would spike up to 130-180 beats per minute (BPM) out of nowhere. If I tried to walk slowly to the bathroom for typical bathroom activities, get up to try and get a drink or attempt to make a meal, I would experience just about every symptom that I listed above (racing heart, palpitations, dizziness, etc.). Many times it felt like my heart was just vibrating rather than having single beats because it was going so fast, and it was scary. I immediately got set up with a Cardiologist where I began a series of tests to determine the severity of my WPW. Was I becoming symptomatic due to age? Was it worse than originally thought?

After testing, I was referred to Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto and scheduled for an Electrophysiology Study and Catheter Ablation in November 2020. However, due to COVID-19 peaking around this time, Sunnybrook ended up cancelling on me (they ceased all communication with me without letting me know my procedures were cancelled... I figured it out on my own - weird, I know). By this time, I was almost debilitated and was scared for my life. I was barely making it through my shifts at work (I was a housekeeper at the time, which is a very physically demanding job), having to call in sick a lot, which resulted in a lot of lost wages as a part-time employee without benefits, affected my attendance record, and took a toll on my mental health. I couldn't just stop working despite knowing that was the best for me as I had rent and bills to pay, had to eat, etc., and I, unfortunately, did not consider government benefits at the time and had minimal financial support from my family (at no fault of their own), so I continued trying my best to survive and work.

Unfortunately, my physical job got the best of me I ended up fainting at work in January 2021. Luckily, I was okay, but this resulted in a change in my case and I was put back on a list for testing and procedures, this time at Toronto General Hospital, specifically the Peter Munk Cardiac Centre. Finally, I was scheduled to go for testing at the earliest available date (I couldn't go sooner because I wasn't classified as someone who may "drop dead" at any moment but was considered moderate-to-severe as far as cases go). I was told I would go to Toronto in March 2021, and if anything happened before then, I would be rushed down immediately. Just a little more waiting, and hopefully a positive outcome.

Fast-forwarding to March 2021, I had two procedures done on my heart at Toronto General Hospital: an Electrophysiology Study and a Catheter Ablation (I will elaborate further on these down below for those interested). Unfortunately, my extra electrical pathway is in one of the worst spots as it is attached to my AV node (the AV node controls the passage of the heart's electrical signal from the atria to the ventricles), so my Cardiologist was only able to get about 25% of my accessory pathway blocked via Radiofrequency Ablation (the use of energy/heat similar to microwave heat), which was not successful at all, and Cryoablation (the freezing of the pathway to cause a scar), without damaging my heart, which would have resulted in me getting a pacemaker at 27 years old - something my cardiologist did not wish for me at the time. I also went into something called "Junctional Rhythm" during my procedure (where the heartbeat originates from the AV node or His bundle, which lies within the tissue at the junction of the atria and the ventricle - my heart rate was around 35BPM). Generally, in sinus rhythm, a heartbeat originates at the SA node, which also concerned my cardiologist and made him stop the procedure.

Despite the partially successful procedure, I ended up having a really good few years with little to no symptoms (and when I did have symptoms they were nowhere near how they were before). I had regular monitoring (holter monitors, stress tests, etc.), to determine my condition's stability, and was able to get back to doing a lot of my favourite things that bring me joy: hiking, swimming, bike riding, walking, working out. I was able to travel again without fearing for my life, and even just being able to shower or cook without feeling like I was going to die was an incredible thing! I was also finally able to enroll myself in college, something that was a big dream of mine that had to wait due to my various physical and mental health struggles during my early to mid-twenties (I also had Meningitis when I was 25 - I have awesome luck). Anyway, I ended up forgetting that I had WPW because I felt so good... yay! I thought I was in the clear. However, if you have read this far, you know that my good times came to an end eventually.

Again, if you have stuck with my short story this far, I thank you from the deepest corners of my soul and appreciate that you took valuable time out of your own life to do so. For anyone who donates any amount, shares to social media, shares through text, etc., thank you. Every little bit will help me on my journey moving past this traumatizing experience more than you know. I appreciate you all.

- Chloë ♡

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ON WPW, EP STUDIES, AND ABLATIONS:

SADS WPW Brochure

Cardiac Ablation Information

Electrophysiology Study Info

WPW and Anxiety Case Study