Support Chasity's Journey to Stability and Safety

Hi. I’m Chasity, mom of 3. I was in a 15-year relationship when a few months ago things started going bad, and I mean bad. My partner of 15 years traveled for work, and up until this point, we never had any issues. We have one son together who is 14. I have been kicked out of the rental house we shared and am sleeping in my car. My goal is to raise some funds so I can get a cheap place, get a lawyer, and go from there.

A little about me: In 2019, I started an online catering business where I make macarons and other sweets. I expanded that to setting up at farmers markets and festivals. Since this started in May, I have moved 5 hours away only to have to come back and was kicked out again. Last year, I had to have my teeth redone, which I had been saving for years for, and after that was done, I had nothing left.

This time, I have nowhere to go. I know that this year has been tough on so many, and it being near the holidays, I really think this is the best option for me to get out of my car and start back working, which I need, and a kitchen to work in.

So what happened? My partner of 15 years and my son’s father started in May accusing me of cheating on him. How, you say? The security cameras. The first week of May, he got a security alert around midnight. The next thing I know, I wake up to see numerous missed calls and texts from him asking me if I was outside and if I had fun. I respond that I was asleep. I had my phone on focus and a bedtime routine set. I blow it off, thinking he’s just concerned. Next thing I know, every sound he hears on the camera, he says is me. He says I’m cheating on him in the middle of the night while he’s there on the weekends. He traveled for years and pretty much stopped traveling for work once this started. We never had trust issues, so when I tell him that there’s nothing going on, he insists I’m lying. He kicks me out. I move to my sick mom’s house. He decides then that I can come on the weekends but not be at the house during the week. So until the end of July, we do that. Then my mom got mad about that situation and didn’t understand, and I ended up having to move back to my partner’s house. He kept on with the hearing and seeing things on the camera. He took away my car that was in his name and let his sister pick up payments. So now at the time was using his truck. I am made to drop my son off at school in the mornings, go and sit wherever all day because I can no longer be at the house unless he is there or with my son. Mind you, from the time he would leave at 6, he would accuse me of having a man in the house until I left to take my son to school. Then I’d carry my son lunch at his school. I did this every day until we moved the 3rd week of October. I had to just spend the day anywhere. He even accused me of coming back to the house and being outside where the dogs were with men. There were never any pictures of me with any one , just blurry spots from the camera’s bad focus that he would insist was me editing the cameras. I would sit in Walmart parking lot trying to job hunt during the day. Any job I found, he had an excuse as to why I couldn’t do it. The weekend when he was there was the only time that he stopped with hearing and seeing things on the camera. He went through my phone daily multiple times. Never found any texts or anything on it to suggest I was cheating on him. In fact, I had him lock up my phone and any device I had. I did so many things trying to prove to him that I wasn’t doing what he accused me of. Nothing I did was good enough, nor did it work. I stayed gone during the day. I had no choice as he changed the locks and gave my son the only other key to the doors. He changed the internet and did not give me the password. Changed all the bills so I could no longer access them to see due dates or amounts. Changed his number and my son’s number. Constantly accused me of cheating on him and never once saw a person. So he then decided that I was somehow gaining access to his cameras and changing the live footage and deleting his saved event recordings, etc. I’m not even sure that is possible, but nonetheless, there’s more… I was accused of hacking his phone, so he got a new phone. Not once but three times. He changed his email and password so many times that he was locked out of his laptop. He spent hundreds on cameras that none work properly or he has no idea how they work. Either way, more accusations. That I can change myself to a blurry spot on his cameras. I never was given access to these cameras, nor did I even know the email he used as his login. During the 15 years we were together, I never once tried to access his phone. I had no reason to. I never once ever accused him of anything. We never fought nor argued. Our son had been in the same school since 3rd grade, and I thought life was great. That was until the nightmare began in May.

He then started listening to my Live Photos on my phone and said he heard a voice in them and that was the man I was cheating with. My son was forced to pretty much babysit me 24/7. He listened to our neighbors on the video doorbell and insisted that they had an entire conversation about me. Then he started saying that it was the neighbors I was sneaking in. We had security. The doorbells would announce they were opened, and I never had access to the security panel either. But he insisted that I was using a magnet to silence the doors, something he found on Google. Where did he get these wild stories? He said the police told him that there are people breaking into houses and using a glass removing tool to take the entire window out, sneak in, cheat, then put the window back in place. So then he starts limiting how much I can work. I can do a market, but he stays up all night while I prep. Then my son has to go with me, or I can’t go. Then I did a festival at the end of October, and I leave early to talk, to see about separating because things were getting bad. When my son and I get there, he leaves only to return later with a large U-Haul saying he is moving. So my son and I start begging him not to do this, to not pull our son from his school. I would leave, but he wasn’t having it. He loaded the U-Haul with nowhere to go. I find a house, and I use all the money I have to rent it, and he adds some. I messed up because he put it in his name when I left the room. He took two weeks to register our son for school, refused to let me do it, then kicks me out the Sunday before the Monday that our son is due to start his new school.

Things got so bad that he screwed the windows shut and added a padlock to the inside of the front door that he locked at night and still accused me of sneaking in a man.

I am asking for donations to help so I can get my own place and get my son safely with me. I can move on with my life and one day look back on this and not think of it as the horror show it’s been. There is so much more I could add, but this about sums it up

Thank you so much for your help. I will pay it forward any way I can.