We all have dreams. For some, it's to marry the love of their life, for others, it's an amount of money or an ideal retirement age, for me, it's been to be a mom.

I was diagnosed with infertility a few years ago. Since then, I've been taking steps toward motherhood. Some steps have been small and others have been remarkably large and yet I write this today and have nothing to show for it... while that's defeating, it's also the reality that comes with the diagnosis of infertility.

Over the last 3 years, I've had various medical procedures (some IUIs, a Hysteroscopic polypectomy, and TONS of bloodwork) to achieve this goal of mine. Last month I went in for an egg retrieval and found out that after ICSI (Intracytoplasmic sperm injection) the egg degenerated (fell apart).

This week, I met with my care team virtually and wrestled with the fact my egg reserve is almost depleted. Probably TMI... but it is possible, that before the end of the year, I will have nothing left to give. I’m running out of time to see this dream through.

Since the beginning of 2024, my fertility expenses have looked like:

$6389- Egg Retrieval (May 2024) + Meds

$1,245 - monitoring (ultrasounds)

$500- SHG test

$248- random testing

This summer (from now until September-ish) I will have to spend around $15,000 to see this dream through.

The breakdown is as follows:

$5,249 - cost of egg retrieval

$3,740- cost of FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)

$2,700 *rough estimate*- Medications

$800- genetic testing (I've already paid $600 for this)

$2450- monitoring (ultrasounds, 5-7 per cycle)

$700- travel fees (hotel and rental car, I have flight benefits) for the two trips to Colorado *

$15,639- Grand Total

*my clinic is in Colorado because my health insurance (like so many) doesn't cover IVF, and this clinic is significantly cheaper than anything in the Seattle area.

I hold this all knowing that I can't guarantee that a gift from you (or even your prayers) will mean eggs are collected or embryos are created; that might just be the hardest truth I've ever had to write.

Thanks for making it this far!

xx, b