Hello, my name is Brent Waterman and my fiancée's name is Emily Grube. We have known each other for over 20 years and we have been dating for over 6 years. We are both 35 and we have her son from a previous marriage who is almost 12. He is high-functioning autistic with ADHD, ODD, and other ASD disorders. We have been trying to add to our family for over 3 years now with no luck until we finally got the good news in April.

Everything started out well, but once she got to about 3 months, she started suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which is an extreme and persistent form of morning sickness. Luckily, after about a month of trying different medications, we found some that helped her along with weekly infusions of IV fluids. When it came time to find out the gender, we ran into our first problem of finding out that there were abnormalities in the ultrasound and that we would need to go to a specialist in Fetal Medicine. This was also accompanied by sudden high blood pressure and a risk of pre-eclampsia. Not even a week later, we were in the next city over getting a more detailed ultrasound done. This is when we found out our first piece of bad news. While not life-threatening, we were informed the baby would have Spina Bifida. The wound on the back was open, but it was low on the spine and while it would cause trouble, it was manageable. We opted to have amniocentesis done that day to make sure there was nothing else wrong with the baby and to help us get a jump on making sure we were prepared. We were referred to UW Medicine, who specialized in this kind of growth defect, and they assured us they would help get us on the right path through the pregnancy and after. They also recommended an MRI and some extra scans just to make sure they could get the full picture. Things, while a little down, were not looking too bad. We started planning and getting our apartment ready for the future with our new child.

This is when things took a horrible turn... At 24 weeks and 2 days, we got the news that our baby had a rare chromosomal disorder known as Triploid Syndrome (Triploidy). We were informed that no matter what we did or do, our child will not survive. This news has devastated my fiancée and me. We had already gone through the grief and emotions of having a child with mobility and potentially mental disorders. Then, after finally getting some sense of stability in our thoughts and emotions, we are thrown back into chaos as we learn that everything she has gone through will have been for nothing.

With the news, we have started to slowly move into the mindset of what we are going to do. We contacted our work (we both work for the same business), and we found out that at best we would only qualify for bereavement and FMLA. Washington State doesn't provide maternity leave for families whose child doesn't come to term; that is what qualifies families for that medical assistance. This wouldn't be a problem normally, but because our business doesn't pay into FMLA, we wouldn't get any pay, only time off. This has put us into a massive hole of depression and uncertainty as we now have to figure out what to do for rent, medical bills, and food while she inevitably must spend time out of work to recover. This doesn't even account for any time I would need to take off to help her recover and as such lose time from my own pay to be with her. We are still looking into our options and talking with work to hopefully find some kind of way to make things work, but there are no guarantees.