for those of you who don't know me yet: hi there, i'm baz! i like long walks on the beach (wearing a large hat, sun shirt, and slathered in sunscreen), playing games with family and friends (card games with family, DND with friends, and mahjong with anyone willing), and being trans (non-binary, if we're getting specific)! and i suppose specificity is needed here, because for the past year i've been trying to get the gender affirming surgery that i've wanted since i was a teenager. i don't know that i had the language for it back then but my chest has always been a source of discomfort and dysphoria for me, and last march i finally started the (long, unnecessarily complicated) process of going through my insurance to get top surgery.

i won't bore you with all the details, but it went a little something like this: i gathered all the documentation, i got a letter from my therapist stating that this surgery would drastically improve my quality of life, and another letter from my PCP saying the same thing. i waited for months for the first available appointment, i met with my surgeon, i met with my surgery team, and when it was finally time to set my surgery date i got a call where i was told my insurance no longer covers this procedure because it's not deemed "medically necessary." this surgery, which i have wanted for almost half my life, went from $1,500—the cost of my deductible—to $98,000 if i were to pay for it out-of-pocket. i was devastated. i jumped through all the stupid hoops, i got the letters of support, i did everything right, but it didn't matter.

ultimately, it's not really about me—or at least it's not JUST about me. it's about the concerted efforts of politicians who don't know anything about anything trying to legislate me and my trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming siblings out of existence. making gender affirming care less accessible isn't gonna magically make there be less trans people—we have always been here, and we always fucking will be—it's just gonna make our lives harder and piss us off. and frankly, i'm lucky! i have an incredible support system and a large and loving community of people who keep telling me they want to help however they can, so even though i find it difficult to ask for help, here i am, asking.

since insurance will no longer be covering any of my surgery, i've decided to go to a clinic in Charlotte specializing in gender affirming care that several of my friends recommended. the total cost for my top surgery there is $17,500, so that's what i'm aiming for. if i'm unable to raise that amount by March 31st, when the total is due to the clinic, then i'll explore some other options, maybe take out a loan if i need to, but no matter what i'm getting top surgery on April 21st because i've waited long enough. i can't wait any longer.

if you're in a situation where you can't monetarily contribute, believe me when i say I Get You. my love, friendship, and appreciation are not transactional! but if you're able to stop by and say hello while i'm recovering, or give me a book recommendation, or send a card wishing me well, i'd love that.

if somehow i raise more money than i need to cover my surgery, anything above that will be put aside and donated to other local trans folks seeking gender affirming care.

if you made it this far: thanks for being here! i hope you have a wonderful day and enjoy a delicious meal with your loved ones soon. if you didn't make it this far: what are you reading this for? get outta here, scram, go on git!