Support Ari's Journey to Complete Gender Affirmation

Hello! My name is Ari and I’m a trans woman just trying to get by as best I can. If you aren’t familiar with what being trans means, here is a helpful guide!

https://www.genderconfirmation.com/mtf-transition/

I’m typically a very private person, about the ‘behind the scenes’ of my life and so sharing my story puts me out of my comfort zone. However, given the current political climate I feel it necessary to speak up about my life and demonstrate courage.

I am asking for funding to cover $15,000. This will cover $3,500 in medical debt from my most recent gender-affirming surgery, with the remainder dedicated toward the next planned surgery to complete my gender-affirmation care.

My Journey

I didn’t realise I was trans, or that the feelings I was experiencing were not the norm, for a significant portion of my life. I didn’t even have the terminology to describe my feelings until well into college, and the world was still in its infancy of acknowledging trans people at large, myself included. I remember being so afraid of acknowledging that the dysphoria I felt was real, because to acknowledge it meant I knew I would have to act on it and completely change the course of my life. I was afraid of rejection from friends and family, of being unable to pursue my career choice, and in general of the struggle and hard work required to transition, including the significant monetary cost to do so that most people don’t have to worry about.

I remember exploring the rush of memories of so many moments that made me go, “I really wish I could experience life as a woman, if only for a bit”, always at the time justifying to myself that surely everyone thinks this now and again. Except it wasn’t just now and again for me, it was actually really really often! It wasn’t until a year out of college that I told the first person, my best friend, how I felt. Another two years after that in 2020 I began changing my wardrobe, opening up to a select few queer friends I had made, testing name changes and pronouns, and actually exploring my identity. In 2021, with much encouragement from loved ones, I finally started taking hormones.

In 2022, I was fortunately able to get a surgery known as FFS, or Facial Feminization Surgery, which helped tremendously with making me feel at home in my own body. Soon after I moved to Richmond, VA which ended up being one of the best decisions of my life. I was quickly surrounded with an amazing group of diverse friends who saw me as I am without reservation. No longer living in a rural, conservative area, I was able to fully change my identity including name and legal markers and feel like I belonged. I have since continued to grow and change with my chosen family here in Richmond.

In 2024, I was able to get another surgery to stop testosterone production permanently, and while I will always need to take hormones to survive, I no longer have to worry about any of my progress reverting. However, while my insurance covered some of my surgery, not all was covered and I was hit with a rather significant bill afterward. This, and my plan moving forward to finalize my journey, is what brings me here today.

The Cost of Gender Affirming Care

I was left with roughly $3,500 in medical debt from this surgery, which has been a struggle to consistently pay off on top of everything else life throws at me. I also am beginning the plans toward finishing this whole process, AKA Bottom Surgery. I’m not sure where that will lead, especially given the current political climate and the chance of increased difficulty to get surgery, but I do know that surgeries are typically scheduled at least 1-2 years out given that specialists are rare, and good specialists are even rarer. I’m not sure how insurance will behave when the time comes either, but even with the worst coverage a Max-out-of-pocket is around $9,000. As you can see, with insurance it could be quite a bit, but without insurance the cost is upwards of $20,000, plus requiring several months of intense physical recovery, limiting my ability to work for some time.

Before surgery can even happen, electrolysis has to be performed in the genital area. This is essentially medical removal of body hair to allow for better results; it is a stupidly painful and time-consuming process that costs up to $80/hr, and will require ~30 hours to fully complete (that’s $2,500), and is almost never covered by insurance.

Summary of Cost

$3,500 of medical debt from my most recent surgery

$~2,500 toward electrolysis, leading to the end goal of:

$ at least 9,000 for bottom surgery

This comes to a total $15,000 to get across the finish line. Any immediate funds will help pay off my current medical bills, with other money raised going toward the future surgeries.

Thank you for supporting me as I continue my transition. I am so grateful for the community I have found in Richmond. My life truly would not be where it is without the support of you all, and in times like these we need queer and trans solidarity to weather the storm and be proud of who we are.