Support Andrea's Fight for Justice and Health

My name is Andrea Dee, or Calamadee around the internet. I’ve been a part of the Warcraft community (Reciprocity-US) for over a decade. I’m a disabled US immigrant from Canada living in Florida.

For the last 18 months, I've essentially been living in hiding because my privacy was the only power I had in my life. After over 20 years with my ex-partner, I’d forced into this position after attempting to get some space from escalating financial, verbal, and psychological abuse. He decided to end the relationship after I had planned a six-week stay with my sister, sending me back to Canada with $100 US in cash.

What led up to this was what I generally thought was a decent marriage with some challenges, like they all have. Things started to crumble in a noticeable way from the pandemic forward. I thought leaving Canada would resolve some of the financial challenges I had from my own financial mistakes, but Ireland didn’t give me the chance to figure that out because we were there during a complete year-long lockdown.

By the time we got to LA and settled, I thought I would start have some autonomy again. I had had no access to any bank accounts or credit cards, joint or otherwise, for years. I had initially been given a cash “allowance” that would be refilled as needed, which then changed to getting cash when I asked for something specific, to nothing at all. If I had to leave the house and it required transportation, I needed to text him the address and he’d send the rideshare to me, never a card on my account. This was embarrassing and infantilizing, and ultimately led up to my complete breakdown in summer of ‘23, where I absolutely lashed out.

Since then, I’ve been receiving a meager amount of support from him, enough to pay board with a generous friend or family member if I could find one. I’ve been disabled and unable to work full-time since 2017, but living in a warmer climate enables me to work part-time. I couldn’t stay long-term with my sister, but am living with a loved one in Florida. While the documents I need to get a work visa are being withheld from me, I have been working freelance transcribing audio, which gets me by week-to-week, but I need the support from my ex to make things work.

Recently, I was able to get a loan from a family member to retain a lawyer and start the process to separate legally and get away from this abuse for good. The petition for divorce was filed on January 3rd, but not before my health insurance was cancelled without any notice, meaning I’ve missed the period in which I could get it on my own. I take live-saving medications that I cannot stop. I can manage them with programs here, but need access to a primary care doctor and regular testing to adjust these meds as needed.

I’ve also learned that the jointly held property in Canada is about to be foreclosed on. I am going to plead my case to the lawyers assigned in hopes to buy some time for things to be dissolved with the marriage. My ex had taken the stance that he couldn’t pay a reasonable support amount while maintaining the Canadian property, which we intended to sell. I agreed to the low support amount in part because of this. He’s prevented me from starting the sale process on my own by denying my access to the property and being completely uncommunicative. We’ve had this property for over 15 years and I’m about to lose my hard-earned equity.

Most recently, and what brings the urgent need for support, my ex has decided that the power and resources he’s been hoarding is not enough. I’ve not received any payment in two months for the support he had been paying. While I still have a roof over my head, it presents a hardship for the person with whom I’ve living to go without my rent. I work as many hours as I’m able, but my body isn’t always capable and the work isn’t always there, making my week-to-week earnings unreliable to sustain my medical needs.

I've lived on very little and skated by for the past 18 months, and am happy to continue to do so until my marriage is dissolved. However, life is expensive and I have had to use any savings I did have to maintain medical care in LA during our pre-filing separation. This support would cover several months of my expenses, with my own addition in my weekly earnings. Once I have my alimony in place, any additional support from here would go towards legal fees, repaying my family member, and looking into how I can hold my ex accountable for the home in Canada I am about to lose. I appreciate the support so much.