Support Ally's Friend in Her Fight for Life

I’m Ally and I am setting this up in hopes of getting one of the best people I’ve ever known possible life saving treatment outside of the US. I want to do anything and everything I can to give her the best chance possible. This is her story…

⚠️TW: death, dying⛔️

Death Cleaning as a 30 Year Old Terminal Bartender

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me: “I feel like I’ve been working so hard for so long and everything we’re doing is just…barely keeping things at bay.”

doctor: “Well, that’s exactly what’s happening. That’s what we’re doing. We’re just doing…what we can do.”

Last month, Jack and I recently had *that* doctor’s appointment. We have prepared for it since before we even got married, (my medical issues/future were made VERY clear ahead of time), we’ve had PLENTY of those conversations about what happens if one day we go to bed and I don’t wake up—but there is still something very rattling about being confronted with your own mortality in such a real way.

To make a very long story short, I have a genetic blood clotting disorder (Factor V mutation, for those who are interested) and have experienced very many DVTs/clots throughout my life. This causes damage to your veinous system, so between that and the worsening of extensive chronic clot I already have, we are at a point where things will not improve.

Treatment at this point is maintenance—to postpone my body’s total failure as long as possible, delaying the decline. There is no “getting better”, it’s all putting tape on a bridge that’s coming down.

In theory, there are surgeries that could be done, but aside from being borderline unattainable/unaffordable (in this country), it would be extremely risky in my case—the chance of clots breaking apart and ending up somewhere else in my body is too high to warrant many of those procedures until they are the absolute last option.

The cherry on top of this appointment was something resembling the beginning of the movie “Up”. It really doesn’t get any easier hearing something you kind of already knew, but to have any future of family planning thrown out the window was devastating for us.

Although Jack and I have (mostly) made peace with our reality, I am sharing this so our friends/family/loved ones can also be aware and to please keep us in your thoughts while we continue to navigate this future.

While sometimes we may seem distant or detached, we are simply staying focused. I may have 10 hours or 10 years left, there is genuinely no way of knowing, so we are just keeping one foot in front of the other. I think of my mom, who we also lost to this very same thing, and I want be strong like she was.

This is NOT a “woe is me” post. We are keeping our heads high, moving forward with as much grace and light as we can for however long we can, loving each other harder every day and laughing loudly until the time comes where we will greet Death as an old friend (as it were).

It is spring, the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the flowers are blooming, the trees are dancing, my blood is still flowing and I am still breathing.

It is a very good day.

✨☀️