Support a Trans Person's Escape From Abuse

My name is Michael V and I am a resident of Wisconsin. I am seeking financial aid on behalf of my partner, to whom will be referred to as "Doe," to help them move out of their abusive family home. Doe entrusted me to assist in the creation of this Gofundme, and it is crucial that their anonymity remains protected, as they would run the risk of harassment and retaliation if their family discovered they started this themselves. Their chosen gender affirming name is similar enough to their government name that their family may make a connection, and so it will be withheld to avoid this danger.

Doe is living in an unpredictable and hostile environment under their family's care and is persecuted daily for being a transgender member of the LGBTQ+. Their pursuit of gender affirming care has been met with staunch resistance to such an extent that Doe has had to cancel treatment altogether, and their family's protests extend to such lengths that they actively barricade routine visits to specialists in vision, dental, and so forth. Doe is often threatened over trivial matters--such as the destruction of their personal items or the threat of homelessness--and therefore is in no condition to oppose their family. They do not have nearby friends or relatives that can take them in (even temporarily), they do not have a mode of transportation, and their attempts of securing employment have been unsuccessful. They have reached out to several state programs and remain unacknowledged, and despite contacting local law enforcement throughout the years in response to the domestic abuse they suffered, nothing has been done to help.

That being said, this is only a summary, and in the paragraphs to follow I will do my utmost to relay Doe's living conditions and experiences with as much detail and accuracy as possible. The subject matter of what you're about to read contains topics of self-harm, and while it may be a hard read, I ask that you take some time to learn about the trials that Doe has to endure, for Doe's sake. If there is any chance that this message will help in improving their life, I will take it.

To start, I will describe Doe's health. Doe suffers from intense, debilitating migraines, and it is their doctor's belief that this is brought on by stress. Doe is nearsighted and is in need of prescription glasses to view their world clearly, but their prescription is out of date and their family refuses to take them to get a new one. They have been unable to see a dentist, dermatologist, or other healthcare specialists for this same reason. Doe has one such disorder, BED (Binge Eating Disorder), which is untreated, and their family has worsened this condition by controlling what they eat, not allowing them to request what foods are purchased, and denying them access to prepare and cook their own food. If Doe does not eat exactly what they are served, or if they ask for more, they are threatened to go without their next meals. Further, Doe can be threatened in similar fashion if they are hungry and ask about dinner, as their family will often take this inquiry as them being "obsessed with food" and will similarly threaten to not serve them. There is no logic to their family's actions, and their responses are unpredictable at best.

I will move on to Doe's mental health. Doe is a long-time sufferer of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), and for those who are unfamiliar with the disorder, it could best be described as an exposed nerve ending for your emotions; moods and emotions are sharp and vulnerable. There is a great deal of interpersonal codependence with the people around you, such that often individuals with BPD cannot regulate their emotional state without treatment. Take, then, the toxic environment they share with their family, which not only does not provide them the warm and encouraging relationship they need, but aggravates their already debilitating symptoms. They suffer from constant stress and anxiety from arguments, they feel like they need to keep constant vigilance to ensure that they are not watched or heard, and they feel the need to mask themselves so as not to incur judgment or fighting for possibly acting "out of turn." Doe gets regularly shouted at for both not showing enough emotion and showing too much emotion, and they typically keep their room's door closed at all hours of the day. Their room is the only place where they feel secure and are able to escape from their chaotic surroundings.

In addition to BPD, Doe also suffers from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, ADHD and OCD. It should be noted that Doe is currently receiving limited treatment only for their BPD and they are unmedicated for their remaining disorders. Their family directly interferes with them getting treatment and retrieving their medications, resulting in Doe not being able to order and pick up their refills from their pharmacy. Doe's psychiatrist believes that their mood would be better regulated were they to be in an environment where they can feel safe and free of judgment.

Doe has been to two different psychiatric hospitals for prolonged suicidal ideation. Doe was in complete compliance and took their medications as directed, but despite this, they have faced discrimination and mistreatment by medical staff. The psychiatric hospitals were unable to stabilize their situation, nor provide a means to move forward. Doe, as mentioned above, is currently seeing a psychiatrist, but they struggle with regular access between sessions. Due to the lack of privacy Doe has overall, virtual care is not option for them, as Doe's family could very easily listen in on confidential conversations and retaliate for speaking against them. Doe's family refused to address their past suicide attempts and (continued) acts of self-harm even when they were faced with direct evidence, and their family has even mocked them for it. They have been told they were just an "attention seeker" and that if they "really wanted" to kill themselves, they would have "just done it." Worse yet, Doe's father has directly told them to their face, "I hope you kill yourself."

Care options are difficult to find in Doe's area, as they live in a medical desert. There are no hospitals close by that they could go to in an emergency, and there are no healthcare specialists within a ten mile radius, which is a particularly daunting distance to travel when they do not possess the means to their own transportation, and when the transportation they do receive is random and unpredictable. They have repeatedly tried to find therapy, emailing over ten different therapists in the state of Wisconsin that specialize in treating BPD, and they have either been ignored, or rejected for having insufficient insurance. Doe has reached out to several state services, including housing assistance, employment assistance and transportation assistance and was denied. They have filed for disability and have not been contacted or updated on the status of the filing.

Doe's family has a history of domestic abuse. Doe has suffered intense homophobia, transphobia and gender dysphoria at the hands of their family, and this abuse continued even when Doe was suicidal and relapsed. Doe's family has denied them access to taking their HRT (hormone replacement therapy) by refusing to provide transportation to pick up their prescriptions at their pharmacy, as well as denying them access to normal visits to their doctor at Planned Parenthood, which is essential for monitoring hormone levels and providing direction on the subsequent hormone replacement therapy treatments. Doe regularly hears, and is referred to by, numerous queer-specific slurs, and is often made to feel like less of a person because of their sexuality and gender identity. They are unable to select and dress themselves in gender affirming attire, and they cannot express their opinions on human rights, politics, or even personal interests without the threat of an argument breaking out, name calling, the destruction of their personal possessions or, once again, homelessness.

Their family has threatened them in several ways, from daring to call a priest to perform an exorcism on them, to preparing to flush their medications down the toilet, and so forth. This abuse extends to such an extent that Doe, themself, does not feel comfortable elaborating on the severity of its contents. Doe was unsuccessful in receiving any assistance from law enforcement for these issues, and not only is it unreasonable to continue pursuing this route, but they have been threatened if they were to try and reach out for help again. There have been multiple police interventions within the past few years that have amounted to nothing, not even when threats were made against Doe's health and safety. Doe's family repeatedly threatens them with homelessness over the smallest issue they take with them. Currently, their family gave them to the end of June to pack their things and move out with only $600 to their name and no friends or relatives that can take them in.

We are very grateful you took the time to read a little about Doe's story. Their situation grows more dire by the day, and they are in need of funds so they can move to the Madison area to pursue more career opportunities, gain access to a wider healthcare network, and be among more LGBTQ+ inclusive people. For the costs of a security deposit and rent, food, utilities, medical, phone, Internet, and various other expenses, we are asking for $5000 to get them started. If you can't financially afford to make a donation, you can support Doe by sharing this to your friends and family.

We appreciate all the help you can give.