Blessings

Sometimes it is difficult to see through the chaos, the changes, challenges, uncertainty. Sometimes it's hard to be brave, to reach inside and find the courage to try again. I am blessed because I am still alive. My husband is still alive. BUT WE NEED a little short-term help. We have lived a life of giving, and now it is we who are struggling.

The Story

When my career was ended by a VZ downsizing, the news was delivered 2 weeks after my husband was given 3 to 6 months to live following a 3-year battle with brain masses. I chose not to immediately dive back into a high-profile, travel-constantly, work-constantly career. It didn't feel like the right thing to do given his outlook.

I pulled up the bootstraps, carried the weight financially, and worked any local job or gig I could find, sold my best horse, all while simultaneously draining my 401k.

Fast forward, he joined a research program and is a walking miracle, though still challenged. All the while, I worked myself into a grave. Literally. Any role, any side job.

In September, I had just taken a new position with a federal contractor for the Department of Disability, working 15-hour days. I caught the flu a week and a half in. I was very ill and given medication that I had a horrible reaction to, which furthered my condition. I was admitted to the ER with a 50-cent piece size of clearance in my lungs, streptococcus pneumoniae. My failing lungs were treated with medication that in and of itself sends me to the ER under normal circumstances. In this case, I flatlined and spent better than a week in ICU with a "babysitter" who watched over my vitals at night, then was released on oxygen and inhalers through November 1st.

Obviously, I am still alive. I am stronger every day; in fact, my doctor was all smiles, amazed at my X-rays last week.

HOWEVER, I am jobless and not eligible for unemployment because I had just started and getting ill is considered my fault under Ohio law. I am applying for work and interviewing like it's my job; however, I'm penniless. Smaller employers seem fearful that I'll run at the first better opportunity that comes along; larger employers see a resume gap, and I suspect ageism.

I wake up, make the bed, brush my teeth, and put a brave face on. Today, however, I found the courage, however humiliating, to reach out and ask for a donation, or a prayer, or a job opportunity.

Please help if you can.