Hey everyone! I am trying to raise money to help support myself through medical school as I power through a dedicated study period to pass my standardized exam.

I have completed 2.5 years of medical school coursework and clinical rotations. In order to continue, I must pass the USMLE Step 1 examination. This is an 8-hour standardized test focused on several very broad subjects encompassing all that we learned in the first 2 years of medical education. Last year I was forced to take a leave of absence due to delaying my Step 1 exam. In doing so, I was stripped of access to my financial aid which was my sole income that I relied on to pay for my rent, groceries, and bills. I am trying not to be embarrassed for asking, but I really need help. I know I have a lot of wonderful and kind people in my life, so I am sharing this story with you and asking for support.

It's been a long journey. I had received a late diagnosis of ADHD combined type, and this resulted in a delay in my progression through medical school. I have been taking all the necessary steps (frequent meetings with my mentors, advisors, and psychologist) to learn how to most efficiently organize my schedule and learning with a neurodivergent lens. The strategies I usually relied on to get me this far have proven inefficient as it takes too much time and neglects superficial memorization tactics. I am a deep learner, where I typically dive into my learning in a way that is meaningful and aims to understand the intricate roots of the material in a bottom - up approach. Unfortunately, this method does not work for the vast amount of content on the Step 1 exam which is meant to be learned superficially and quickly via top-down approach. Thus, I had a LOT of relearning to do on my methodology and how to actually identify my own ADHD symptoms. Understanding my ADHD has helped me counter the impulsive, time blinded behaviors and utilize its strengths of hyperfocus and emotional connection to the joy learning brings. Ofcourse, this is a bumpy road with ups and downs but I am finally starting to feel confident in myself again. I am feeling intellectually capable for the first time in years.

I think there is a silent struggle that many medical students, especially first generation and low income students like myself, go through during this process. But not many people talk about it. I hope this post can help change that. I am incredibly privileged to be studying medicine and very grateful for this opportunity. However, I think there is this narrative of medical students being high achieving, do-it-all perfectionists and that can stir up heavy feelings of guilt and shame when things are going anything but perfect. I failed my Step 1 exam and that - among other life circumstances - has halted my status as an active student in the medical school. Without a passing score, we cannot move forward in clinical education.

I had a job at Caribou for a little over 6 months but recently had to leave that responsibility because it was hindering my ability to focus my energy and attention on adequate studying. Many students put 60-80 hours a week studying for this beast of an exam and now I need to give it that attention. But to do that, that means I have no source of income. This is a key element to the silent struggle that conflicts the narrative I mentioned earlier. I want to bring my story to light and say that I am not finished. I may have failed but that does not mean I have to quit trying. And this by no means will make me any less of the great doctor I strive to be. I hope that anyone else struggling with this knows that too.

So, enough of the soapbox. I have created this Gofundme account and if you would like to donate, 100% of the proceeds will go towards me (~2.9% + $0.30 per donation goes to Gofundme) and will be used to help pay my rent, utilities bill, groceries, Uworld subscription which is the practice question source for the exam, $62 NBME practice exams, new pens for my notetaking, and caffeine.

I know that was a lot, and a HUGE chi miigwech (thank you very much) for reading my story and for simply listening. Genuinely, thank you. I love you and I’m sorry for sounding like a broken record. Okay, gigawaabamin!!