This is humiliating... first time I've ever taken a picture of myself without my head being covered and now I'm sharing it with everyone.
I literally put towels over my mirrors when I'm showering so I don't have to see myself.
I've never done anything like this but at this point, I guess you can say that desperate measures have taken hold of me.
I don't know why my hair started falling out.
I'm assuming it's from my divorce that almost lasted 4 years.
Married for 20 years, had 4 kids. Stayed at home, lived in a beautiful home, kids went to a great school.
Behind those closed doors was a relentless hell that I'm still trying to heal from (7 years later).
I spent my entire adult life with one man. I was very young, he was 18 years older than me.
I depended on him for everything but I also never got to make choices... it was very controlling and extremely abusive.
I finally gathered the courage to leave with the kids. We left with the clothes on our backs.
I went from living in a beautiful home to having nothing.
We started from the bottom.
He would not give us one thing. Not even a blanket.
He told me to leave with what I came with.
I had to get on assistance, I had to buy second-hand things, had to work for the first time with 4 kids.
So I did. I wanted nothing more than to get myself established for my kids.
As far as I have gotten is a home for the kids. And I worked really hard to get myself off assistance.
Things have been so hard...
It was so hard leaving an abusive relationship. When you allow someone to dictate your entire life, it's terrifying to make choices for yourself and your children.
Slowly I'm getting better but sometimes it's very scary.
My hair started falling out in chunks until it all fell out.
It's affected my entire life. I don't want to wake up sometimes. I don't look in the mirror at all. It was very hard to take that picture because I don't look at myself. My children haven't seen me without a scarf on my head.
I know my babies love me. But I also know that it's so embarrassing for them when I show up at their school that I stopped going to their functions. That in itself devastates me. I want them to know that I support them but I also don't want to embarrass my children.
There are beautiful wigs that they make for people who have to wear them on a daily basis but my god, they're ridiculously expensive.
I thought my insurance would cover these wigs but unfortunately, my type of insurance will not.
I traveled 2 hours from my home to sit in a woman's chair and she put a wig on me. I couldn't believe how realistic it was. For the first time, I was so genuinely happy. She told me it was $1700 and I couldn't believe it. I was in utter shock. I cannot afford that.
I had to walk out of that store without anything.
I don't understand why medical insurance will not cover this for me. I don't want to wear a wig. I'm ashamed. I'm humiliated, I am embarrassed. It's not a fashion statement for me.
Christmas is around the corner. My car is broken down. My oven on my stove isn't working. I'm struggling.
I pay my bills and there's enough for groceries. I have to put bills aside for food. I am trying so hard... I wake every day and I try so hard. I don't understand why this is happening to me.
I've never asked anyone for anything. Not once...
But I just want to feel comfortable for my kids. I don't want them to be embarrassed of me anymore. I want to feel normal...
This is so hard... so if anyone has anything to help me, I would appreciate anything. Prayers are just as meaningful right now.
Talking about this publicly isn't easy, this is a huge step for me. I appreciate you taking the time out to listen.
Why they are fundraising: I need help to afford a realistic wig that my insurance won't cover.
Who/What they are fundraising for: I am fundraising for myself to feel comfortable and not embarrass my children.
Organizer
