Support a Brave Mom & Daughter's New Start

Help a Brave Mother & Daughter Rebuild from Nothing After Escaping Abuse

Recently, I had posted something online about a gift that my children made me by hand that I display proudly next to me in my office as a medical executive of a thriving patient-centered company. I had made the comment that handmade goods are truly precious and beautiful and this item was the pride of my office. Someone seeing this brought to me a heart-wrenching story of a desperate mother who recently escaped a horrific 10-plus year relationship, escaping with one of her five children who refused to watch her father beat her mother anymore.

After surviving ten years of an emotionally and physically abusive marriage, this brave mother made the most difficult—and courageous—decision of her life: to walk away with nothing but the clothes on her back, two sewing machines, and her youngest daughter by her side. The youngest daughter, just 12 years old, chose to leave with her mother despite knowing it meant losing everything—her belongings, electronics, even most clothes.

This woman didn’t just leave behind a house—she left behind fear, control, and cruelty. But the price of freedom has been devastating. Her ex-husband cut off all financial access, changed the locks on their home, and kept and locked up their vehicles. He managed to coerce or threaten their other four children, who remain in private school and are well provided for. The youngest daughter, just 12 years old, chose to leave with her mother despite knowing it meant losing everything—her belongings, electronics, even and clothes.

Now, mother and daughter share a small apartment with no furniture, no savings, and no safety net.

The daughter walks home from school watching other kids ask their parents for a snack or a bottle of water—simple things she knows not to expect. Her mother confided that she could never bring herself to ask for help for herself, but watching her child go without breaks her heart every day.

Considering all the turmoil and human rights violations in the world right now, I had already decided that I wanted to start doing more good recently; not just inside the company for which I work but to potentially see a terrible situation become a success story. I didn't know where to start but remembered I had an acquaintance on social media, Jenilyn Dittman, who was very experienced with fighting domestic violence and advocating for women and families in the northern and central valley of California where I've lived and worked the last nearly two decades, and a former President of Havens Women's Center. I texted her the few sad details that I knew and asked her for advice on how to help and maybe more importantly how to navigate communicating with this mother and her daughter in a caring, empathetic way; but also to gather enough information about what they would need over the next few months. Within a day she messaged and set up a phone call and expertly guided me through assisting. More importantly, she was an amazing guide and reminder that this mother and her daughter are likely still not safe, in potential danger, and that I would have to help without revealing their names, location, or any more details than necessary to avoid repercussions from the ex-husband. I think that makes it doubly hard to understand the situation or care when you cant visualize the victims but I was strongly advised that identifiables could lead to the abuser retaliating

I then reached out to the victim. It was immediate within minutes of conversation that her priority was the safety and happiness of her daughter, but there was a palpable sense of fear. She mentioned that she didn't know if she did the right thing, that she left and her daughter left, leaving their things behind in a rush to get away from the situation. She stated that she can't take her daughter to buy snacks or water after school, that they have to return home to their small apartment before they could eat or drink anything. She mentioned that her other children were in private school, and this young 12-year-old daughter chose to support her mother and no longer has internet, a computer, a phone and I quote, "Pretty much every day I give her the same thing for lunch and dinner." "I love her and I would remove my heart if she needed it, with no hesitation." Meanwhile, the father has refused to accept the daughter back or allow her to even talk to her siblings.

The reason this was brought to my attention in the first place is she is apparently a talented seamstress—skilled, resourceful, and ready to work. I am obsessed with business plans, foundation building, learning to delay gratification in the short term for long-term benefits. All she has are her sewing machines and her will to provide for her daughter in a life free from fear. But they need a chance to start...

And to be completely honest... I don't know how to wrap my head around everything; from how exactly to communicate with someone who has so recently been physically abused by a man... or even to guide her on how to use her machines to provide resources to their small bare home. Im clueless and lost

I was out of town this weekend and just let myself get too busy to follow up (I was probably also afraid to, uncomfortable to, and let myself get preoccupied by less serious weekend matters). When I checked back to look monday morning, there was a post with the mother listing the two sewing machines for sale. I was headed to a meeting and my heart just sank. I was probably 10 minutes late for the meeting because I messaged and posted to this mother, "Do not sell your machines. They are your path to some freedom." No reply for 14-18 hours and I was pretty devastated. Then on Tuesday, a short response came, "They haven't sold yet, the only offers were 1/10th of their value and I was still considering that."

So here we are... I decided to help. My goal is to raise $2200 to assist this very brave mother and possibly braver daughter. I have already got a commitment from my corporation that if I started a fundraiser and truly put the work into it, they will directly send $500 now to the mother for immediate needs (food, water, laundry, transportation, cell phone) and match what is raised by 6/25/25 in this GoFundMe and use it to purchase materials for the entrepreneurial efforts of this fine seamstress and desperate mother.

In addition, I have never done a GoFundMe, I've donated but I have never asked for money for others on social media. I feel like it is my responsibility and burden to ensure transparency, provide receipts and proof that indeed the funds are going to the right place. I have asked the mother if she would be willing to reach out to those that donated (once she feels she's in a safe place and situation) and she agreed. In addition, there will be full transparency on what is purchased (based on what the mother asks for) and what is given in cash (again the mother driving that decision). I see no other way to ensure accountability and confidence that this is legitimate considering the advice not to share pictures or names of the mother/child.

A lot of you know I'm absolutely sick about what's going on in the world. The hypocrisy, greed, xenophobia, racism, all the phobias, all of the isms, and all the ignorance. It's now so overwhelmingly sickening to me, that I have decided to stop posting my gripes online and just focus on doing this good thing; (hopefully I do it right). And I ask that you support me, in particular because my home health agency will match what is raised so its compounding good, for a fantastic reason. I dont know who out there will read this and contribute, but those that do you have my heartfelt thanks and great respect for acting christlike while the rest of world claims Jesus and does nothing for the poor, sick, abused and downtrodden. ... at this point that doesn't surprise me.

Your support will go directly to:

Food, water, and daily living essentials

School supplies, clothes, and emotional comforts for her daughter

Fabric and tools to help this mother restart her dream as a seamstress

A phone for safety and job communication

Emotional recovery and support for a child who has lost so much

Bedding, pillows, and their rent and I suppose anything else the mother deems necessary... im so out of my element with this... and fortunate I dont know the slightest thing about domestic violence, turning sewing into a livelihood, victim support... thankfully there are people that do encouraging me to press on.