Help our Dad back on his feet & age with dignity
Donation protected
On Oct 29, our father Sun Fu’s body went into diabetic ketoacidosis. Leading up to this he had become increasingly cognitively impaired, lost his ability to eat or walk, and fell twice during this time.
Living alone in Kuala Lumpur, far from all family, this incident nearly cost him his life.
There are many complications we are still sorting through: diabetes, ataxia (loss of use of his leg), and the scariest of all, dementia.
Rehabilitation is going to be a long road. He is currently bedridden, and though his strength and mind is slowly coming back online, there are lots of unknowns as to what his new baseline will be.
What’s clear is that he will be needing 24-7 care for the foreseeable future, first to help him with literally getting back on his feet, and then to prevent any further health incidents that would take him right back here.
Only 65 years old, his mental facility has been noticeably declining over the last year with worrying episodes of memory loss. Yet, even up to two weeks ago, he was still zipping around town on his motorbike, working on his book, and continuing to make friends everywhere he went.
It’s been heart-wrenching to see him in this frail and confused state.
Sun Fu is no stranger to adversity and tragedy. He’s a widower and a survivor of a traumatic brain injury. With a highly intelligent mind, he’s come up with brilliant coping mechanisms to navigate his atypical neurology. But left to his own, the deficiencies have added up. With many relationships severed, compounding events have left him in financial straits. He had to close down his 30-year business and has since been unable to sustain employment for more than a decade.
In recent years, us 6 children have been pooling resources to financially support him. Dad is content with a simple life, and our currencies convert well in Malaysia, so it didn’t take much.
Up till now, that is.
Through this crisis, we are now having to front the mounting medical bills, and shoulder both the burden of deciding on his day-to-day care as well as the financial ramifications of it all.
None of us live in the same country as our father, and for complicated legal reasons, leaving the country to live with us is not an option.
With each of us in different phases of our lives: still in school, or just getting established in the workforce, or mothering young children at home, caring for our father in this way is a considerable strain on our family system.
Many of you have been asking “What can we do to help?”
We want to be frank: money would be the most impactful support that you can offer.
Knowing that we have the monetary resources for both this moment of crisis and his future care will lift a large portion of the mental and emotional load. It will also open to us many more options for quality care that offers the most autonomy and dignity to our father.
These funds would enable us to:
- Take on current medical and caregiving bills without going into debt
- Get more diagnostics on what is happening with his brain so he can get treatment
- Offer Dad ongoing quality care that will meet both his medical needs as well as socio-emotionally
- Compensate a friend as a point-of-care to visit him and be a stand-in for us in administrative matters
- Take turns returning to Malaysia much more frequently to participate in his care in person
Consider that:
- No amount you contribute is too small. With the exchange rate, a little can go a really long way.
- Instead of a large one-time donation, consider pitching in monthly over an extended period of time.
- Sharing this widely and inviting others to contribute is also one of the most helpful things you can do.
- You don’t have to know him or any of us personally to do any of the above ❤️
US Friends: To avoid fees you can always send donations via Venmo to @FeiWyatt
Singapore Friends: PayLah to Shuan
Malaysian Friends:
Public Bank Duitnow ID: 950616146665
TouchNGo E-wallet: 182112793885
If you’d like to donate in another way, just reach out.
In Dad’s heyday he would often offer work to community members in need. He has always been there with open arms for the downtrodden. We know he has friends and connections all over the globe and would love to see his unconditional generosity showered back onto him.
For those of you who care about Sun Fu’s wellbeing, we will continue to drop updates here.
Thank you SO much for your generosity and care.
*Written by his eldest daughter Fei, who is now by his side with her 1.5 year old daughter and brother Ern.
Organizer
Fei Wyatt
Organizer
Los Angeles, CA