SUGARCANE MADE ME TRANS ️‍⚧️

Hey y’all, I’m Kaylon! I am non-binary (They/Them) — and this is the rawest, realest story I’ve ever told.

I grew up in a small town (more like a village) in Louisiana — the kind with more sugarcane than people. Super religious, super conservative, and super not the kind of place where a little trans kid like me could safely exist.

I’ve been struggling with gender dysphoria since I was 8 years old. I didn’t even have the language for what I was feeling back then. It was the 90s and down in the South, people weren't talking about it, especially not kids. Can't blame the media because back then social media didn't exist and trans people weren't on television. So how did my 8 year old self end up struggling with gender dysphoria? I just knew I wasn’t like the other kids, and that something about my body felt wrong. In my church and in my home, that kind of “wrong” meant hellfire and brimstone. I was so scared of going to hell, I didn't know how to talk to God. I was just outside in that damn sugarcane field crying and praying to God to make me a normal girl. My prayers went unanswered and I fell into a dark depression. My mom abused me physically and emotionally all through-out my childhood. She told me I was the reason for her divorce and poverty. That God was punishing her for having a gay daughter. She thought she was saving me by forcing me to wear clothes I didn't feel comfortable in or trying to pray the gay away. That didn't work so she tried to beat it out of me. I was only 8 years old and didn't understand how or why this was happening to me. So I did what a lot of us do — I hid.

But hiding doesn’t heal anything.

One night when I was a kid, I grabbed a butcher knife and I wrote a suicide note.

I was done. I gave up on God. Lost, confused, ashamed, and feeling like I’d done something unforgivable just for existing.

Then, somehow — divine timing, fate, the Universe, who knows — I saw the movie “Boys Don’t Cry.” And even though that movie was traumatic as hell, it saved my life. For the first time, I saw someone like me. I saw that I wasn’t alone. That maybe… just maybe… there was a world outside the sugarcane fields lol. I've learned to laugh and cry at the same time over the ratchet-ass, country-ass, crying-in-the-sugarcane-field-ass childhood I had . As an adult, I got to experience more diversity in big cities where being trans is normal, and I just think back like damn, I really survived all that shit by myself at 8 years old. I was hiding though. Suppressing my gender dysphoria and just pretending like I'm doing okay. I can't hide anymore. I can't ignore it anymore.

That 8-year-old version of me is still inside me, screaming:

“Do you remember me? You said we’d make it out.”

And I do remember. That’s why I’m here.

30+ Years of Suppression = Mental Health Hell

I’ve spent my life suppressing my truth — and that comes with a brutal price.

I’ve battled constant panic attacks, suicidal ideation, multiple psych ward stays (which offered zero gender-affirming care), and fought through depression, anxiety, and identity confusion.

Louisiana doesn’t offer the support I need and my religious family still doesn’t understand or even want to understand what gender dysphoria even is.

But I’m still here and I’m ready to heal.

️‍⚧️ I finally started testosterone — and for the first time in my life, I feel seen.

But the biggest source of dysphoria — my chest — is still holding me back.

Top surgery isn’t cosmetic for me. It’s life-saving. It’s what’s standing between survival mode and peace.

Why I Need Your Help:

I’m on mental disability, living in Louisiana (aka the Gender-Affirming-Care Desert), and no surgeons here accept Medicaid. I’ve found some top surgeons in different states but they don't accept out-of-state Louisiana Medicaid. I'm looking into OHSU Transgender Health in Portland, Oregon. I sent them an email but I don’t know if Medicaid will cover this. I don’t know if OHSU will accept it and honestly? I can’t afford to wait around and hope for approval while my mental health declines.

HOW FUNDS WLL BE USED:

I’m trying to raise $12,000 to cover the entire cost of surgery, travel, lodging, and recovery—out of pocket. I’m asking for help because I need this to survive. To breathe. To feel at peace in my body for the first time in over 30 years.

This isn’t just a surgery—it’s freedom.

If you can help at all, I would be forever grateful. Even $5 makes a difference. Even just sharing this story helps me feel seen. OR if you know a surgeon who performs top surgery and accepts Louisiana Medicaid or at least payment plans, please let me know.

What Your Support Means:

This surgery isn’t just about my body. It’s about healing that little kid who used to pray to a sky daddy in the middle of a damn sugarcane field lol , begging for "God" to make it make sense. Getting top surgery is about finally being able to say:

“You’re not broken. You’re not a bad person. You were just born in the wrong damn ZIP code.” lol

So yeah, maybe the sugarcane did make me trans. Who knows.....

All I know is: I’m still here.

I survived the shame, the religion, the silence, the panic attacks, the hospital beds.

I made it this far but I can’t do this next part alone.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to hide, or like you didn’t belong, or like no one saw you — I see you.

Please help me finish this part of my journey, and give my inner child the ending they deserve.

Every dollar helps. Every share matters.

Thank you for reading, laughing, crying, and showing up.

With love and survival,

KAYLON

✅ CTA:

Donate, share, and help me get out this damn sugarcane field for good lmao✈️