Sued by Evangelical Mom Legal Costs, Missouri

Hello. My name is Brady. I'm a single, gay dad in St. Louis. My close friends know me as a good father, vulnerable, and "oh my god, did you hear what his mom did?!"

What now? Since January 2022, my mother has been pressing legal action against my ex-wife and me to gain access to our son. My ex and I completely agree we don't want her around because of constant disrespect of boundaries over the last few years, lack of awareness regarding her religious beliefs, a history of homophobia, and now this. Because of the Missouri legal system, we became vulnerable to legal action. We were assigned a day-long trial in May 2023. The case is ongoing, and we chose to inform our son later (please don't mention any of this to him).

Background: My ex and I divorced over nine years ago and are great friends. We co-parent with ease and consider ourselves family. Since our divorce, both of us have come out as members of the LGBT+ Community️‍ and have experienced homophobia from many of our family members here in Missouri. None have been as harmful as my mom.

She is very involved in her Southern Baptist Church and has said many harmful, homophobic things over the years. By setting boundaries over the years, my ex and I believed we had struck a healthy balance with her, but things changed for the worse during Covid. Requests to social distance and/or mask were met with high resistance. She evaded questions about social contact. It was a political issue for her, but we had to protect ourselves, a sick family member, and those we were in contact with.

After many failed attempts to address concerns, I said we needed a six-month break for our mental health as we juggled schooling our son from home as we worked, sicknesses in the family, and the overall pandemic. We had to start over at one point because she refused to stop texting my ex and me, but after the six months finished, I offered to set up mediation appointments, as promised. Instead, she bypassed that and hired a lawyer.

How is this possible? In the State of Missouri, there are laws to protect grandparent visitation in the case of a divorce. Our divorce was many years ago, and while my and I agree wholeheartedly, in Missouri, it is enough to initiate because we prevented contact for six months.

What's happened with the case so far? We found a lawyer who doubles as a therapist. We have gone through several court-ordered mediation appointments. We have provided pages and pages of written communication and have clearly stated our concerns and boundaries. A GAL has also been assigned to our case.

What's happening with the case now? After a year with our first judge, he termed out, and we were assigned another judge, who set up a day-long trial in May.

What will the money be used for? The donations will pay my share of the legal fees, mediation appointments, and court-ordered third-party representation. I didn't expect the case to last this long, and we don't know when it will end. As a single parent (and income) home, it is a big burden. We believe it is not this law's intent or place to require us to give access to our son to family members whom we have experienced (and have dozens of pages of evidence) as harmful over and over.

What if it goes over the goal? My ex and her partner have been amazing about sharing the cost - emotionally and financially. Money over the goal will go toward paying them back and getting back on my feet after this rollercoaster from hell.

The costs of this case have been hard to keep up with on my own. Reach out if you have questions. Thank you for any support.