Death of My Husband Thomas Clay
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My husband died unexpectedly and my son was transferred to John Hopkins Bay View University Hospital a few days later. Please excuse the poor writing, I’m writing this while really distressed.
Hello everyone, On April 21 my son James “Lyle” Williams was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. My husband, Tom Clay called me while we were there. Tom was so excited but first asked about Lyle. I told Tom that Lyle was starting to have the same systems as last summer. Tom reassured me that Lyle was in good hands and not to worry.
Lyle’s systems include stomach ache, headache, and shakiness. Then he slowly starts to lose mobility. Lyle calls these things “Lock In’s”. When he’s in a full lock in he can’t move and his eyes are closed but he is awake. Lyle looks like he is sleeping, but actually he feels helpless an is in a state of terror because he can’t hear.
He doesn’t know if there’s anyone there to make sure he is being monitored while is Lyle in this paralyzed state. What makes it worse is he is Deaf. Some of these lock in’s can last as much as 9 hours, some for only a few minutes. Last summer after three hospitalizations, he had a stroke due to these lock in’s. After that he seemed better but was now weaker, shaky and continued to have pain in his belly.
Tom went on to tell me the good news. Tom said that he and three other associates had been hired that day from the company Tom had just formed the week before. Tom was so happy and relieved. They were to start the following week. He said finial we were not going to have to worry about anything. I was so happy for him. I then told Tom we could talk more about it when I got home.
Thirty minutes later I received a call from home. Daniel tells me, “Pop is dead. Pop is dead.” I asked again to repeat. Daniel then said, Pop is not breathing. I said, call 911. They had already done that and Zackory was trying CPR with the assistance of 911. I hurried home. When I got home there were so many trucks and lights. I went into the house where the paramedics were working. Neighbors were all worried and waiting to hear what had happen.
I ran towards the house both boys were outside sitting and crying. Pops dead, Pops dead they said. I went in and the paramedics were working on him. At one point a paramedic came outside. I could see it wasn’t good. I asked if I could please see him. I was hoping if Tom heard my voice he would come back. By the time I walk in they were calling it. Meaning it was over and they had done all they could. I ran to him beg for them to start again until I could talk to Tom; Hoping... The paramedics started CPR again while I talked to him. I opened his eyes, told him I love him and that it was ok. Then I told the paramedics to stop. They gave me what I needed to let go. And I thank them for that.
Tom had been out of work and was expecting the ship to come in. We were sparingly using our finances, watching what we spend. Some of the bills we pushed thinking he would be starting work soon. If his company hadn’t worked out Tom had other jobs lined up to start the following week too. We were set, we thought. Because he was between jobs we could not get life insurance on him. Because he was out of work for a year and a half three years ago we were playing catch up. It was very hard and we nearly got there. Next month bills are coming and he said there were a few he pushed and thought he’d double up next month. Most were paid.
I’m hoping, through GoFundMe,
I can get me through a few more months without worry. Then I can sort through the paper work and make some calls to see what’s really happening. Zackory graduates this year. Danny is in ten grades. They are very good boys. I am a special needs school bus driver. I worked for the health insurance. I don’t make enough to hold down the fort. Tom was our rock. He was everything. I love Tom with all my heart and miss him so much. Now I have to focus on the boys and my son Lyle.
Hello everyone, On April 21 my son James “Lyle” Williams was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. My husband, Tom Clay called me while we were there. Tom was so excited but first asked about Lyle. I told Tom that Lyle was starting to have the same systems as last summer. Tom reassured me that Lyle was in good hands and not to worry.
Lyle’s systems include stomach ache, headache, and shakiness. Then he slowly starts to lose mobility. Lyle calls these things “Lock In’s”. When he’s in a full lock in he can’t move and his eyes are closed but he is awake. Lyle looks like he is sleeping, but actually he feels helpless an is in a state of terror because he can’t hear.
He doesn’t know if there’s anyone there to make sure he is being monitored while is Lyle in this paralyzed state. What makes it worse is he is Deaf. Some of these lock in’s can last as much as 9 hours, some for only a few minutes. Last summer after three hospitalizations, he had a stroke due to these lock in’s. After that he seemed better but was now weaker, shaky and continued to have pain in his belly.
Tom went on to tell me the good news. Tom said that he and three other associates had been hired that day from the company Tom had just formed the week before. Tom was so happy and relieved. They were to start the following week. He said finial we were not going to have to worry about anything. I was so happy for him. I then told Tom we could talk more about it when I got home.
Thirty minutes later I received a call from home. Daniel tells me, “Pop is dead. Pop is dead.” I asked again to repeat. Daniel then said, Pop is not breathing. I said, call 911. They had already done that and Zackory was trying CPR with the assistance of 911. I hurried home. When I got home there were so many trucks and lights. I went into the house where the paramedics were working. Neighbors were all worried and waiting to hear what had happen.
I ran towards the house both boys were outside sitting and crying. Pops dead, Pops dead they said. I went in and the paramedics were working on him. At one point a paramedic came outside. I could see it wasn’t good. I asked if I could please see him. I was hoping if Tom heard my voice he would come back. By the time I walk in they were calling it. Meaning it was over and they had done all they could. I ran to him beg for them to start again until I could talk to Tom; Hoping... The paramedics started CPR again while I talked to him. I opened his eyes, told him I love him and that it was ok. Then I told the paramedics to stop. They gave me what I needed to let go. And I thank them for that.
Tom had been out of work and was expecting the ship to come in. We were sparingly using our finances, watching what we spend. Some of the bills we pushed thinking he would be starting work soon. If his company hadn’t worked out Tom had other jobs lined up to start the following week too. We were set, we thought. Because he was between jobs we could not get life insurance on him. Because he was out of work for a year and a half three years ago we were playing catch up. It was very hard and we nearly got there. Next month bills are coming and he said there were a few he pushed and thought he’d double up next month. Most were paid.
I’m hoping, through GoFundMe,
I can get me through a few more months without worry. Then I can sort through the paper work and make some calls to see what’s really happening. Zackory graduates this year. Danny is in ten grades. They are very good boys. I am a special needs school bus driver. I worked for the health insurance. I don’t make enough to hold down the fort. Tom was our rock. He was everything. I love Tom with all my heart and miss him so much. Now I have to focus on the boys and my son Lyle.
Organizer
Deborah Clay
Organizer
Frederick, MD