Our friend Sterno is in EXTREMELY DIRE STRAITS. He's been fighting some chronic health issues for years but they have recently QUADRUPLED. Long story short, he currently can't walk or drive, or work, due to a serious nerve/spinal problem that is awaiting diagnosis. His right leg can't be trusted at all; he suddenly loses all contact with it and falls. So, he's CRAWLING a lot. Needs a wheelchair just for starters. The other leg has sciatica very badly, which causes chronic, unending, excruciating pain.
He is also awaiting a biopsy on a mass found in his kidney -- and he has already been fighting horrendous kidney stones for years. The waiting for that and upcoming neurological tests is driving him crazy.
He has been to the Emergency Room FOUR TIMES in the last couple of months, in desperation. They give him Tylenol and tell him to get more tests.
He is covered by the V.A., but they're underfunded and shoddy, and have practically banned decent painkillers, and there are still plenty of costs. Just getting to and from the hospitals is a big problem. He has family, but they're strapped too.
On top of all this, his fiancé has been deported to Mexico and is helpless to help him. In Mexico, she is a LAWYER, but that does no good here, even if she could get back. If they get married she can return but it'll still cost a lot in legal fees -- thousands -- to undo the deportation. Sterno wants to move to Mexico but right now he basically can't... MOVE, period. (And in Mexico the V.A. coverage would be lost.)
Get this: in the course of dealing with Immigration, he was told by a redneck immigration officer, in these exact words: "I'm not gonna let your girlfriend back into this country because frankly, I don't like Mexicans."
This is a mere SAMPLING of the kind of crap and bad luck our old pal is dealing with.
I could say this money will be spent on medical bills, or taxis to medical clinics, or lawyers, but either way it's probably going to be a drop in the bucket. He has savings, which he needs to SAVE. He has a house, which he needs to sell, but it needs lots of repairs, and he can't do them himself now. Suffice it to say: HE NEEDS MONEY!
We all need money. But we can WALK. We can DRIVE. We're not being BIOPSIED. We aren't suffering chronic, never-ending, SEVERE PAIN.
More than money, of course, he needs SLACK.
What he HAS, is FRIENDS. And now is the time for his friends to let him know we remember all the gut-blowout laughs and rockin' times he has given us. Half the funniest stuff in Church of the SubGenius, the REALLY REALLY sick and funny stuff, came from Pope Sternodox! The band DOKTORZ 4 "BOB," for Dobbs' sake! He's been a huge part of the Little Rock music and arts scene his whole life too. We can't let him just sit in his house (which is way out in the country, with no bus service) wondering if there's ANY HOPE AT ALL. THERE IS! It's US!
And if you're totally broke, call him! Send a letter! Text some good vibes his way and maybe some extra hate vibes too! Hate for the Conspiracy, that is. 'Cause the problems that plague his mind the most aren't caused by just the horrible random SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS, they really are caused by what we call The Conspiracy -- the conspiracy of the Normals. He needs to be with his fiance by hook or by crook, and it's truly the Conspiracy of the Stupid, Fearful, Ignorant, Racist NORMALS that's keeping them apart. And gutting the V.A. And screwing us all. Hell, they're even screwing THEMSELVES! There must be a balance -- fight the Con by helping Sterno!
We were originally going to keep this among personal friends and not put it on Facebook, partly because we figured he didn't want to be pestered by strangers, but as he pointed out, he's not on Facebook at all! So we now encourage any kind of utter stranger to kick in. In fact, the stranger the better!